To insist visiting children eat their sausages?

[gruffalosmile]

Have two of DD's friends over this afternoon, their Mum is working tonight so I have done them tea, they asked for sausages chips and beans which I provided (early tea as they are being picked up soon). One got down from the table without asking, the other is still there but neither ate their (good quality) sausages. They cost me 3 quid, I am a bit cross. I have asked them to come back to the table and eat their sausages (I won't insist they eat all of them, I just want a token effort). They looked at me like I was some sort of harridan. AIBU??

Token effort? Seriously- what is the point of that other than to make you feel you've 'won'?

Kids dont care or know if sausage are 'good quality'. They know 1) if they like it and 2) if they've had enough.

So many food issues are created by parents/adults taking it personally when a child doesnt hoover an entire playe plus cutlery up!

I disagree with the majority and would say YANBU. Asking them to eat some of their dinner (how much was eaten?) is hardly force feeding them, and basic manners would've been nice.

I hate all this 'my house, my rules' rubbish

Did they even try them?

I would be cross as that's what they asked for (and I never force children to eat food they don't like).

I also think they should ask before getting down.

Did they eat the chips and beans?

I feel for you OP ... rude mannered children are just the pits when they arrive... you can tel l who is brought up in a family with a table and table manners and who scoffs on the go

I wonder why they asked for sausages if they don't like them - children are weird.

However - it will cost you £3 whether the sausages go in the bin or (eventually) down the toilet, so the only people losing out by not eating them are the hungry children.

did they try them at all? and did they eat anything else?

sasuages can tast different, and they prob thought theyd be the same as they have at home.

but if they hadnt tried some of it, i would at least ask them to try it.

Yabu. They should have asked to leave the table but no way should you be asking to eat when tey had had enough and got down.

Of they get down that's it, take dinner away. But please don't force children to eat

You made the mistake of giving them good quality sausages with a predominance of actual meat, rather than the highly spiced bran filler/pigs' bum type Richmonds. Bet they ate the chips and beans?

If sausages are left chop up and freeze, I use them for pizza toppings!

AFAIK forcing children to eat can be a path to disordered eating / eating disorders later in life. Have to be v careful with this, especially with girls.

Obv not once and once only as in your case though OP. In your case it's more about manners (or lack thereof!) than anything.

If expect them to taste them and if they don't like them, then fair enough.

I wouldn't want them leaving the table.

I agree that you haven't lost any money whether they eat them or not.

If they haven't touched them, put them in the fridge.

Did they lick the sausages or even bite them. If not I would put them in fridge and have in sandwich for lunch tomorrow.

I don't think you should make children eat but I might just give them no pudding as they can't be very hingry.

I wouldn't force them. Can't you just put the sausages in the fridge for tomorrow? More sausages for you!

Okay well one came back to the table and ate both sausages, the other ate one. They are now tucking into fresh raspberries and chocolate cake. I do see what you mean that maybe the brand wasn't the same as they would have at home but I think if you've asked for something specific you should at least try. (They had eaten all their chips and beans before they left the table I noticed!)

I'm honestly shocked by some of the comments. She's asking for basic table manners not holding them at gun point & force feeding them!

YANBU I would be horrified if my child went to someone's house, made a request for tea then didn't eat any of it.

Don't give them any snacks when they come back in fifteen minutes saying they are hungry (and they will).

I can't believe so many people think its ok for a child to do this at all, never mind in someone else's house. If I had any of your children over and they did this, they wouldn't be back.

There is a difference between being finished with a meal and not eating any of one (the protein) component, especially when you chose it yourself. And there is nothing to be lost by teaching a child it's polite to at least try the food someone has cooked for you.

Some of you are reacting as if requesting good manners is akin to force feeding.

I'd be a bit pissed off if they'd asked for them and didn't eat them, but I'd let it go.

I remember being young and feeling too embarrassed to say I didn't like something (and let's face it, people can be fussy can't they, sausages vary hugely) and gagging as I swallowed the food in front of me.

It is bad manners to just get down from the table but I'd prefer that to them forcing down something they don't want. I don't understand the whole 'children should eat what they're given' thing. You shouldn't bully anyone into eating anything.

I wouldn't offer anything else, and if the friends repeatedly did it every time they came round they just wouldn't be invited any more.

Great result gruffalo.

Kids shouldn't be encouraged to eat when they're full, let alone ordered to. It's very important that they learn to stop eating when they're hungry so as annoying as the 'waste' may seem, yabu.

Save them! Cold sausages are the best, or you can reheat them. Cut off the end if they've directly chewed it but I'd save half a sausage or one with a slice missing.

I totally agree BTW most children don't like good quality sausages because they are too herby/meaty and the skins can be quite tough. I remember my stepmum proudly serving up her favourite butchers' specials and, TBH, they were disgusting - they looked grey, they tasted weird, the meat inside was lumpy and a similar consistency to mince, and the skins were really thick and tasted sinewy so that you could tell it was some kind of intestine or something. I forced them down but they were awful.

I love a "real" sausage now but still like Wall's or Richmond's or a chip shop special

I think you all need to chill. I am fairly lax at mealtimes, single working parents. Often late with various activities. My children are lovely well mannered excelling girls. It's a bloody sausage fgs.

YANBU to ask them to stay at the table, if that's what your family usually do.

I think YAB a little U about the food - although I would expect a child just to try it.

When I was a little girl, I had a tiny appetite, and used to worry and worry before I ate at friend's/ relatives that I would not be able to clear my plate. Of course the more I worried, the more my tummy churned, and I could barely eat at all. I would have tried though. I always make a point of saying to my own and other's DCs that it doesn't matter if they can't eat all their food.

I know you can't help your irritation, but if I felt anyone's Mum was cross with me about the food it made me worse, but if they were relaxed about it, I could eat most of it!