To think no sex is not like in the movies and if it is the fuck you?

[SoBloodyFrustrated]

Topgun...great sex scene. I want that I thought in my innocence. However sex seems to be more squelchy slapping noises, a few 'ouch get off my hair' and 'ooh can't breathe' followed by avoiding a wet patch than the hours of slow love making and intense snogging.

I thought dh and I were compatible maybe I should LTB!

"while he attacks the love button like Edward scissorhands" HOWL

You never see a great big shaggy dog licking their tones whil

*licking their toes while they DTD!!! And their arses

I think I did once hear Sharon Stone cry out "watch where you're poking it for gods sake don't shove it up my bloody pee hole, I'll have bloody cystitis now.." in some movie or other....

SingaporeSling Spit it into his penis beaker?

SingaporeSling Spit it into his penis beaker?

You never see a couple getting 'experimental' with strawberry body paint, then realising that her arm is stuck to her partner's very hairy chest, and giving him a partial body wax, whilst he screams like a small child either.

i don't think i've ever heard anyone "tutting". DH complains that i tut and sigh everytime we change position!

Great thread for cheering me up

I've never seen anyone do the knicker shuffle, the one where you try and pull the down by rubbing your legs together...

Or try and take someone else pants off with your feet.