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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this lady was rude

215 replies

AuntyVirus · 14/08/2013 00:56

I have a 19 year old daughter who tonight I have had to phone in her place of work and tell them that she was unable to do her night shift as she was unwell.

Dd had been feeling a little unwell but was already to go to work until she suddenly started throwing . I
Called work and explained that she was unwell
And apologised for the last minute notice. It was 50 minutes from when her shift was due to start .

The duty nurse who I spoke to then proceeded to tell me how she didnt believe that this sickness was sudden , and why couldn't my daughter phone in . After explaining that she was in the bathroom throwing up and it wasn't sudden I had explained she had felt unwell most of the day. Before hanging up on me she told me she would get management to phone me tomorrow .

Should I complain about the nurses attitude or should I leave it as it was short notice when I phoned . My daughter is still throwing up although not as much and was even going to try and go into work as she felt as though she had to prove to nurse she was ill .

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/08/2013 00:58

Sorry but she should have called earlier and/or called herself.

Lora1982 · 14/08/2013 01:01

At my work we have to call ourselves and at least an hour before we start

SummerRain · 14/08/2013 01:02

I'd be annoyed too if someone's mother phoned in sick for them. And I'd presume they were hungover and hoping the mom factor would help them get away with it.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 14/08/2013 01:02

She should have phoned in herself.

AgentZigzag · 14/08/2013 01:04

A 19 YO woman's mum ringing in work to say she's sick probably does look a bit suss Grin

Could she not have rung them at any time in the 50 mins until her shift started?

I know it's not nice being sick, but I know from alcohol experience it doesn't rob you of your voice, reason, or the skill to dial a number.

I'm trying to be sympathetic, but I just can't summon up a whole load of it (apart from your DD actually being sick), she should have rung.

GW297 · 14/08/2013 01:04

Agree with the others - she is an adult with a job. She should have rung herself and much earlier.

MissMuesli · 14/08/2013 01:04

She should have phoned in herself sorry. I have had this before where I haven't felt 100% but not actually even sick and I would ring ASAP and say I don't feel very well but would let them know. Although presumably with your daughter working in a hospital the rules on sickness would be even tighter due to the risk of infecting patients so she should have known she wouldn't be able to go in?

mynameisslimshady · 14/08/2013 01:05

You would seriously complain about someone at your daughters work being rude to you when you called in sick for her with no notice at all.

I would have been mortified as a 19 year old if my Mum called my work to complain that my boss was rude to her.

countrymummy13 · 14/08/2013 01:06

I'm with you Aunty

If she really was stuck in the bathroom then better you phone ASAP than she phone after her shift was due to start.

Also nurse was rude IMO, yes. And yes I'd tell this 'management' when they call tomorrow.

CoolaSchmoola · 14/08/2013 01:06

If she's old enough to work she's old enough to phone in herself.

She should have called, and she should have done it sooner. Most people would be pissed off with such short notice, and tbh, think it a little bit 'sad' that her mummy phoned.

I get she was puking, but when I'm ill I don't get someone else to phone for me, my job, my responsibility - and I'd like to bet the majority of people do the same.

AgentZigzag · 14/08/2013 01:07

I thought I'd be on my own in the corner, compassionless Grin

Ifcatshadthumbs · 14/08/2013 01:07

Oh and I think if you make a complaint on top you will be doing your daughter no favours at all!

countrymummy13 · 14/08/2013 01:08

What's all this business about 'short notice'?

Do you people have sickness scheduled in to your diary?!?

Sometimes people get sick! Mostly it's unexpected!

She probably got it from work anyway.

CoolaSchmoola · 14/08/2013 01:13

And please don't speak to management tomorrow, get your DD (the one they pay) to do it, and don't complain about the nurse being 'rude' because it will just reflect badly on your daughter, in that they may think she is immature and hiding behind you.

You feel the nurse was rude... So was your DD for not giving more notice that she wouldn't be in, and for not ringing herself.

IMO you need to back out of this situation now, before you get more involved because your DD is already not looking great without you getting even more involved.

MrsHoarder · 14/08/2013 01:14

Seriously none of you have had to get another person to ring in for you when you're too ill to make the call? Its been DH rather than DM who has done it for me, and I've done it for him (when he's been hospital-ill).

Or should the DD have waited another hour or so until she stopped retching for long enough to use the phone?

Gruntfuttocks · 14/08/2013 01:14

Lesson learned for your daughter? It's a tough one, as she probably felt she was doing the right thing by trying to soldier on, but particularly in a hospital environment, it's just not sensible to try and work if you are unwell. By calling in so late in the day, she has created a real headache for whoever has to try and cover her shift and I'm not surprised the person you spoke to was a bit pissed off. After all, you did tell her that your daughter had been feeling unwell all day. I think your daughter should ring them tomorrow or at least take the phone call if they call back. You should not have any further involvement in this situation - do not, repeat DO NOT, start complaining about what happened today. You will do your daughter no favours at all.

AgentZigzag · 14/08/2013 01:23

Saying it wasn't sudden and she'd been feeling ill all day does make it look like she should have said something earlier.

It's OK for the nurse to say she didn't believe you, not believing someone who's rung in sick is so prevalent it's turned into a general joke, even though tons of people must be ill all the time. At least she said it to your face, and there are some things you can't say in a friendly way (especially if you're pissed off).

How's your DD getting on at work? Are there any reasons why the nurse wouldn't believe her/you? Other time off she's had?

AgentZigzag · 14/08/2013 01:24

Hospital-ill would make it completely OK to ring in for someone else MrsH.

Barfing in the bog, not so much.

kali110 · 14/08/2013 01:26

My old place you faced disciplinary action if you didnt call in sick yourself. You also had to ring in hour before shift which was ridiculous as many of my shifts were 7am and there was nobody even working the sickline at that time.I can understand doing it for her but it should have been her. I had to ring a few times when i was sick even leaving the phone to be sick.
I really wouldnt ring in and make a complaint, they may have protocal like at my place where she should have rung in herself, you may make it worse for her, or make her look silly and immature.

BeeMom · 14/08/2013 01:35

In all honesty, I have never been "too ill" to make the call and not already been in hospital. If you don't have a cordless phone to take to the toilet to vomit, you DO have a bowl or a bag to hold in hand for the 2 minutes it takes to go to the phone - and frankly, if she works in a hospital, the "all day" she was feeling "unwell" was the time to be making the call - not when she was "too sick" and had to get mummy to fight her battles.

A medical facility is no place for sick employees.

The nurse was not rude - she was faced with the prospect of trying to fill a shift with less than an hour to do it.

Don't complain tomorrow, let your adult daughter do it - the one whose name is on the paycheque - and the one who will need to answer for why she did not a) plan ahead when she was feeling poorly (as you said she was unwell all day, but planning on going in to work) and b) waited for the last possible minute, and then had someone else make the call.

Seriously - if she was feeling unwell 90 minutes before her shift, even 2 hours, she does not belong at work. No one hails a hero who infects fragile individuals because they don't want to pass up on the money.

AlpacaPicnic · 14/08/2013 02:35

As every one else has said - in my work, unless you are physically incapable of calling yourself, like in hospital, in a coma etc... If you don't ring yourself, it doesn't count. Plus a senior manager can come and check up on you if they have reason to believe that your story is 'inaccurate'

hufflebottom · 14/08/2013 03:48

you have to be dead for someone else to call in for you, or to be even off at my last work place. i think the only time i didn't phone in and asked my dp was when i had tonsillitis and couldn't speak.

she's 19 she needs to do it. the nurse was probably irritated that it was you and not ur dd

Original poster
AuntyVirus · 14/08/2013 05:16

Sorry just got back in from hospital dd has food poisoning they suspect so no alcohol involved . This is only the second time in two years she has phoned in sick and last time she did it herself.

As for management I never asked to speak to them nurse told me she would get them to phone me why I don't know .Im annoyed with nurse as as dd got a txt off friend who she works with asking if she was ok as nurse was telling other staff that she didnt believe she was ill . Is this ok too and not something nurse should have taken up with management .

OP posts:
TheUnsinkableTitanic · 14/08/2013 05:24

Daughter should have phoned in herself but totally unprofessional for manager on duty to be speaking to other staff like that.

YOUR DAUGHTER needs to bring that up with management :)

hope she is feeling better now

Original poster
AuntyVirus · 14/08/2013 05:39

Daughter is still feeling rough but slightly better . I had no intensions of speaking to management it was nurse who said .

I understand everyone who said that dd should have phoned in , but at the time she was throwing and I thought it best that I phone ASAP with it already being such short notice. If nurse had have asked to speak to daughter I would have gladly passed phone to her . Instead she just choose to assume that dd was not really ill .

OP posts: