To think this lady was rude

[AuntyVirus]

I have a 19 year old daughter who tonight I have had to phone in her place of work and tell them that she was unable to do her night shift as she was unwell.

Dd had been feeling a little unwell but was already to go to work until she suddenly started throwing . I
Called work and explained that she was unwell
And apologised for the last minute notice. It was 50 minutes from when her shift was due to start .

The duty nurse who I spoke to then proceeded to tell me how she didnt believe that this sickness was sudden , and why couldn't my daughter phone in . After explaining that she was in the bathroom throwing up and it wasn't sudden I had explained she had felt unwell most of the day. Before hanging up on me she told me she would get management to phone me tomorrow .

Should I complain about the nurses attitude or should I leave it as it was short notice when I phoned . My daughter is still throwing up although not as much and was even going to try and go into work as she felt as though she had to prove to nurse she was ill .

TBH if my if my grown child was living at home with me, head in loo, I would call work for them. I would get my child to call work later on to confirm but I would let their work know as soon as possible so they could arrange cover.

I watched 24hours in A&E last night. There was a lovely lady called Irene on it who was in hospital due to chest pains. Her son was sitting with her and she was still watching out for him. As she said, it doesn't matter what age they are, you never stop being mum. Sums it up.

Sorry Pagwatch, you just sounded a little smug and self righteous to me.

It irritated me.

But you were just being funny, okay.

YANBU about rude nurse but that's obvious.

As for your daughter she's 19 not 9. She is an adult and should have phoned for herself. I see lots of young people at work in their 20's still being molly coddled by their parents. One 22 year old has never even cooked a meal. I mean WTF. I was married at that age! My boss even arranged and paid for her 20 year old sons travel insurance for him and goes to every university viewing with her 18 year old daughter. What is it with treating adults as children? Is it because so many still live at home? I was talking to a group of 20 something's the other day at work - all still live at home and they were aghast I house shared at 18 when I left home, they were all of the attitude they won't be leaving home until they can afford their own place. My children are quite a way off from that age but will be independent even if they live at home in to their twenties(they will pay rent, cook, clean and do their own washing, go their own university viewings as its their decision). Anything less is a disservice to them.

That's nice of you Nutcracker.
I apologise for being rude

everywhere I've ever worked, you have to phone in yourself or it doesn't 'count' - periodically we get emails reminding us of this

But why?? There is NO logic to this. I've pulled a few sickies myself over the years and phoned myself - it's not difficult to put on a laboured 'ill' voice.

I'm glad your daughter is ok.

I don't understand why folk are in such shock horror that you called in for her. Why in gods name not? Just because you happen to be her mother? I've had DH ring in for me once when I wasn't in a state to speak to my manager. I've also called into work for a flatmate who had felt unwell for a couple of days and had started throwing up just before leaving for work. We (myself and other flatmates) got her to the walk in clinic - turns out she had contracted cholera on a recent work trip to India and was quarantined.
The rude nurse - understandable for obvious reasons on her part. B*tching about your daughters 'feigned' ilness to other colleagues - unprofessional if actually true.

NHS nursing policy is usually that the sick person has to all in, the only exception being in emergency surgery or coma.

Calling in sick 50 minutes before the shift leaves the unit unable to cover and everyone suffers as a result.

I realise that sometimes even with notice shifts aren't covered, but the difference is that with warning there is a fair chance that it could get covered. 50 minutes before a shift leaves no chance at all.

I don't know, dancer, I've never been the boss who made up the rule - I suppose because it's your job and therefore your responsibility to ring up and speak to your line manager or whoever personally, though.

I suspect some people find it easier to hand over to friend/mum/partner to get them out of it rather than actually have to put on a pretend-sick voice... But I think really it's just that their contract is with you, not your mum or your child or your mate, so you have to ring - just as work wouldn't hand your paycheck to any of those people and assume they'd just pass it on to you.

Yes, TheOriginalSteamingNit I can understand you saying that the person who has the contract with their place of employment needs to call in to explain the situation and reason for their absence.... However is it really necessary that they have to call in the first instance if they have their head stuck down the toilet bowl?

Surely it just makes sense, that if someone is there with the sick employee that they ring their place of work for them as soon as they know they will not be able to make it into work.... and then the employee follows this up with their official notification as soon as possible when they feel more able to do so.

I hate this suspicious frame of mind that managers get [and again, in my experience, healthcare is rife with it] that assumes that staff are trying to pull the wool over their eyes and are feigning illness.

I really think that management should try and be a little more compassionate to the needs of their staff and not so obsessed with trying to catch them out in wrong doing.

I am sure there will always be some people who try to feign sickness to avoid work... but surely this would be picked up as a persistent pattern and thus drawn to the attention of HR and Occupational Health.

Someone who has only had two short term instances of sick leave in two years does not fit a persistent offenders pattern imo.

Therefore this duty sister was rude, unprofessional and plain out of line.

Nutcracker I think you've hit the nail on the head in a way. Anywhere I've worked (but particularly in bigger companies and the health service) there is the automatic assumption that ringing in sick = pretending to be sick. Always.

In my experience, HR departments are so hung up on attendance management that instead of targeting the real problem employees (which of course do exist) they work on the assumption that every employee is trying to pull a fast one. I have a close relative who is an HR manager and she is so obsessed with it that she refuses to accept that there are legitimate reasons sometimes why people can not make it into work. But then, she has also sacked employees who are on their death beds, for non attendance at work (thereby making sure the company don't have to pay their death in service benefit) so basic humanity isn't her strong point. But she is far from unique in the world of HR, I've met many like her.

Think a lot of it is to do with employers as said mine would not accept someone calling in for an employee unless exceptional circumstances. A person vomiting would not be one of those. Iv had to ring up several times from the bathroom.not nice but no choice

The OP has stated that her daughter doesn't work in a hospital by the way.

Thought I'd re point that out to anyone.

I dont either

The OP's daughter was ill enough to require hospital admission, they don't admit patients willy nilly! I appreciate it must be a nightmare to have to deal with a staff shortage but shit happens.

I was just reading my work's policies today as they've been updated and they state that it's fine for a relative to phone. My company are lovely though.