Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this lady was rude

215 replies

AuntyVirus · 14/08/2013 00:56

I have a 19 year old daughter who tonight I have had to phone in her place of work and tell them that she was unable to do her night shift as she was unwell.

Dd had been feeling a little unwell but was already to go to work until she suddenly started throwing . I
Called work and explained that she was unwell
And apologised for the last minute notice. It was 50 minutes from when her shift was due to start .

The duty nurse who I spoke to then proceeded to tell me how she didnt believe that this sickness was sudden , and why couldn't my daughter phone in . After explaining that she was in the bathroom throwing up and it wasn't sudden I had explained she had felt unwell most of the day. Before hanging up on me she told me she would get management to phone me tomorrow .

Should I complain about the nurses attitude or should I leave it as it was short notice when I phoned . My daughter is still throwing up although not as much and was even going to try and go into work as she felt as though she had to prove to nurse she was ill .

OP posts:
SPBisResisting · 15/08/2013 07:44

"ilovesooty Wed 14-Aug-13 12:43:53

If you live alone you have no choice but to make the call yourself. "

And if you live with someone else then you do have a choice and the OP's DD chose to exercise it.

So on the one hand the OP;s DD should have called herself as soon as possible, on the other hand she should hve waited ten or 15 mins till she had stopped actually vomiting and felt up to making the call?!

SPBisResisting · 15/08/2013 07:51

Bloody hell. This thread actually makes me ashamed of mumsnet. Professional spite sums it up perfectly.
I'm glad my mum "mothered" me when I felt ill at the ae of 18 (tho I did call into work myself, yay for me). I ended up in hospital with bacterial meningitis for ten days and nearly died. Was almost the last chance she got to mother me.

lljkk · 15/08/2013 08:25

Isn't it appropriate for nurses to share the information considering they work in a health environment and might have picked up the same bug so could be carrying Norovirus or similar themselves and must be extra careful not to transmit patients so need to be hyper-vigilant if they want to be aware of symptoms the moment they start?

(probably saying same as last 100 msgs, I guess)

NutcrackerFairy · 15/08/2013 08:30

Sometimes vomiting bugs come on very suddenly though lljkk and I think this is what happened in OPs daughter's case.

OPs daughter was feeling a bit unwell over the day, had a headache mainly, but assumed this was due to tiredness. It wasn't until 50mins before her shift that she started vomiting and hence knew then that she was really unwell and unfit to work.

I presume your post is saying that OPs daughter should have realised she was sick earlier than she did and should be 'hyper-vigilant' of any illness symptoms?

Apologies if I have got that wrong.

SPBisResisting · 15/08/2013 08:32

No I think lljkk was trying to explain why the nurse who took the call told everyone about the OP's dd being sick. And I think that's possibly a good point tho she went about it the wrong way - sounds like it was gossiping rather than notification.

belatedmaybe · 15/08/2013 09:20

According to the op the nurse was saying she disbelieved her colleague. Had she arranged cover then called a meeting to ask for increased efforts in hygiene until they knew what was wrong it would be one thing. Sitting in the staff room implying or saying her (very reliable) colleague was either lying or had over indulged is completely another.

I agree with pp bullying needs addressing along with many other things in the care industry such as inadequate breaks, back to back shifts, under staffing, under paying. ... The list is endless.

differentnameforthis · 15/08/2013 09:34

I am sure it would have been really easy throwing & talking on the phone at the same time! I have rung work for my dh before, when he has been very ill & asleep when it came to the time to call. I don't see why it matters who does it!

Emilythornesbff · 15/08/2013 09:43

Do you know what. I think I've changed my mind about the mum -phoning -in thing.
It always used to make me feel a bit Hmm but having read the posts here I think my view has changed.

differentnameforthis · 15/08/2013 09:44

People who get their relatives to phone in for them are usually telling lies about being sick

Blimey! When I first moved in with my now dh we didn't have a phone & this was before mobiles were common & cheap to run, so we didn't have one of those either.

I remember being sick on a couple of occasions & dh had to call when he got into work.

One time was when I badly sprained my ankle, along with tearing some ligaments & I couldn't walk for a few days. The person I worked closest with didn't believe me until I rolled up my trouser leg & pointed out that my leg was still black & blue.

I can't believe it matters that much who calls, as long as they know!

differentnameforthis · 15/08/2013 09:48

But you must have read that very long text to know in detail what it said

Oh for heaven sake, get over yourself. My dh has a (non pin locked) iphone & it displays the WHOLE text message on the front of the screen when it comes through.

LessMissAbs · 15/08/2013 10:02

I expect the duty nurse's 'attitude' is explained by anxiety at having to find cover at short notice. Perhaps this escaped her lips 'x's mother has just phoned to say x won't be coming in, can anyone cover for her?'

Only a robot wouldn't show tension at the thought of replacing an absent staff member in a hospital, you know where sick people are, whose lives may depend on it, at short notice.

I'm shocked at some posters who seem to implicitly assume some level of absence is normal, as long as they dont overdo it. No wonder this country is doing so badly. The op's daughter is 19 and relatively unproven at work. No one yet knows if she is a reliable member of staff.
Meanwhile those who have actually turned up to work have this additional stress to deal with, and the op wants to take them away from their duties to deal with her complaint!

But what really puzzles me, what with the op posting from beside her dd's bed, is why she didn't mention her dd's hospitalisation in her op.

Emilythornesbff · 15/08/2013 10:05

lessmisabs good point actually.

NutcrackerFairy · 15/08/2013 10:13

Oh ffs LessMissAbs healthcare staff are not robots and do on occasion get sick themselves.

That is the reality of working with HUMANS.

It really is appalling when a sick member of staff is treated as an inconvenience for having the temerity to actually be unwell on occasion, you know sometimes healthcare staff can have health conditions themselves for example, they are not superhuman!

Would you have preferred OPs daughter to drag herself into work possibly infecting other staff and sick patients?

Unbelievable! I take it you have never had to call in sick for work Abs?

SPBisResisting · 15/08/2013 10:14

Was she definitely there when the op wsd written

Emilythornesbff · 15/08/2013 10:17

Timeline is too confusing for me.

belatedmaybe · 15/08/2013 10:28

Lesmissabs op says two sick days in two years including this one. .. I would call that a pretty good track record, most employers would kill for a staff member like that and it is 1/3 of the sick leave nhs are allowed before it is even looked at, never mind it being considered a problem!

AuntyVirus · 15/08/2013 10:47

Looks as though dd should be home today .
Abs didnt mention it she didn't get admitted until after post her other symptoms which have now thankfully passed and seem unrelated .
Dd does not work in a hospital I have stated this further up the thread ,

OP posts:
AuntyVirus · 15/08/2013 10:47

Didnt mention hospital in original post .

OP posts:
londonrach · 15/08/2013 11:24

X

londonrach · 15/08/2013 11:25

X
What's wrong with op phoning. Her daughter was in no fit too and it was better to let them know ASAP. I've phoned for my husband before when his face had swallow up and he couldn't talk. At the same time I also phoned the doctors as he certainly couldn't. Common sense is the mother phones. I think the nurse was worrying about covering. She shouldn't have said anything but people do. Hope op daughter feeling better

Pagwatch · 15/08/2013 11:58

Oh get over yourself NutcrackerFairy

The pay phone was in a flat used by three of us. No one else was in. I phoned the office and I phoned my mate who came home at lunch time to help me.

You sound like you need to go for a lie down. At the point at which I posted people, staggeringly, were joking about school letters and phone ins

Jeez.

Dancergirl · 15/08/2013 12:05

Sometimes there are circumstances where you have no choice but to call yourself. But if there is someone to help you (relative, friend, neighbour etc) why on earth wouldn't you ask for help??

Madness to be a martyr when you're ill.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 15/08/2013 12:07

everywhere I've ever worked, you have to phone in yourself or it doesn't 'count' - periodically we get emails reminding us of this.

One woman in an old job always got her husband to ring for her - we always thought she was skiving, tbh.

Pagwatch · 15/08/2013 12:08

Gruntfuttock

The longer version -
As DS1 was getting ready for school he noticed our dog was walking oddly, like stumbling. Then he lay down and whimpered
We were concerned. He tried to get up but kept whimpering.
PenisDog is an old English. I phoned the vet who said to bring him round immediately but I was not strong enough to lift him into the car.
Ds1 was 6ft and in the rugby team so he did it. He came with me to help.
When we got to the vets PenisDog kind of jumped out of the car and ran o the corner of the car park. DS1 followed him, noticed something hanging out of PenisDogs arse and helped him .....deliver..it.

After that dog was right as rain. Ds1 ran from the vets to school. I wrote an email to apologise after I got home.
His head tutor was very funny.

Pagwatch · 15/08/2013 12:09

I am glad your DD is feeling better OP.

Swipe left for the next trending thread