To think this lady was rude

[AuntyVirus]

I have a 19 year old daughter who tonight I have had to phone in her place of work and tell them that she was unable to do her night shift as she was unwell.

Dd had been feeling a little unwell but was already to go to work until she suddenly started throwing . I
Called work and explained that she was unwell
And apologised for the last minute notice. It was 50 minutes from when her shift was due to start .

The duty nurse who I spoke to then proceeded to tell me how she didnt believe that this sickness was sudden , and why couldn't my daughter phone in . After explaining that she was in the bathroom throwing up and it wasn't sudden I had explained she had felt unwell most of the day. Before hanging up on me she told me she would get management to phone me tomorrow .

Should I complain about the nurses attitude or should I leave it as it was short notice when I phoned . My daughter is still throwing up although not as much and was even going to try and go into work as she felt as though she had to prove to nurse she was ill .

Am I in a parallel universe here?

So when I have phoned in for my Mum when she's been over the toilet throwing up constantly, she was in the wrong?

Sorry, but no.

If you are being sick how on earth are you supposed to you know, speak properly? Do you do it when the vomit is coming out, when you wipe it off your chin or whilst your retching for the next load of puke to come up.

Ideally yes, you'd phone up yourself but this isn't an ideal world. Seriously some people are so judgmental...

I hate these

Pagwatch Wed 14-Aug-13 21:43:51 My last note for DS1 was 'dear sir . I am sorry pagboy was late but he had to help the dog shit' Perhaps that's why he dosen't ask me ?

I would really like to know why he had to "help the dog shit". Since when do dogs need help to do that? Why did your son need to take time off to do it and how did the recipient of your note (teacher? employer?) react?

Totally agree haveigot

Oh, I now see it was his teacher. Oh well, what teacher would object to a pupil being absent when he was helping the dog shit? The mind boggles as to how he helped though.

Soz! I hate these places of work where lieing is assumed. I worked until recently in a secondary school where I was occasionally called upon to cover the first aid station. On on occasion I felt iller and iller, not unusual in an overheated environment surrounded by unwell people. I left, retched on the fancy, no-students-allowed front lawn and ran back into the school to vomit. Was this not giving enough notice? They tried to stop me leaving as I wasn't apparently safe to drive. I pulled over to vomit, I had to collect my daughter. Ill is ill, makes me wonder about other people, who has notice? Aren't we all encouraged to soldier on?

She needs to call herself.... If she is being constantly sick that she cant talk, she needs to go to hospital NOW! But i doubt it !?!

I can see it from all sides.

Lived alone. Live alone currently with DS - had to call myself in sick - olnce chucking phone at DS as I projectile vomited. [envy}

team OP's DD has been in hospital since last night - she was that ill

OP I wonder if the Management phoning tomorrow comment will genuinely be to see how she is? Quite a few of my Family Members work for the NHS and having worked there myself.
When DF fell Ill recently (Heart Attack), DS rang Management in the Evening for Emergency Leave and she had to wait until the Following morning before they rang her back to say whether they would grant the leave, presumably if they had managed to find the Cover within those 12hours for her.

As many other PP's have said, I think the Nurses attitude was a pissy "How am I going to find someone at Short Notice" comment, not necessarily personal towards your DD.

I read on to see she was admitted, hope she is feeling better this Evening. How is she? ~

Oh nursing is rife for this sort of bullshit.

It's part of the culture.

Management will only accept notification of sickness from the staff member themselves, irrespective of whether they are vomiting or delirious or semi-conscious. Then management bollock the staff member because they haven't given enough notice and will leave them short, or they bully staff with threats of sickness interviews and insinuate that the sick staff is telling porkies and a disciplinary will result if this is discovered

It is one of the reasons that sick staff in hospitals often drag themselves in, because they hate leaving their fellow staff members short but also because it is just so awful to feel sick and hope for some understanding and compassion from your employer but instead get treated like a piece of shit on their shoe and have it implied that you are feckless and have let them down.

I will never forget being sick when I was employed as a lowly staff nurse on an Intensive Care Unit and I started feeling sick the day before I was rostered to work. Finally at about 2pm I rang my manager to inform them that I wouldn't be able to make it in for my shift that commenced at 7.30am the next day and got BOLLOCKED for not having had the decency to have called her that morning as now she would struggle to find staff to cover me I also, like the OP, had had very limited time off due to sickness so manager's annoyance was definitely not due to a persistent pattern of work avoidance on my part.

OP, I agree that the nurse you spoke to was rude. However there is probably not much that you, or your daughter can do about that. However, if it is true [and there are witnesses to the fact] that she told staff that she believed your daughter was lying, this needs to be brought to the attention of management [by your daughter] and this is absolutely not acceptable.

And personally I can see no issue with your ringing your daughter's workplace to inform them that she was unable to attend her shift in 50 minutes time. It sounds as if the vomiting came on very suddenly and took your daughter by surprise. If you were available to call for her, why the hell shouldn't you? Surely that is just common sense rather than your daughter calling when her head is down the toilet bowl?
And then your daughter could have followed up with a call to management herself when she was feeling more able to do so.

It's really not a comparable situation to those on here who are saying well when I lived by myself I had no-one to call in sick for me so OP's daughter should also have called in for herself. What a ridiculous argument

sometimes sickness comes on suddenly. twice I have vomitted in school within t one or two hours of the first twinge. once running down the corridor as the head was running up to cover my class and throwing up all over the toilet. these things come on quickly sometimes.

sometimes I have rung in for h when he haas been ill.

Oh and Pagwatch, you called in sick from the communal hall phone when you had explosive vomiting and diarrhoea... and you think you deserve a Blue Peter badge for doing so

You probably infected the poor bugger who innocently used that phone after you!

Would have been much more sensible to have had somebody call in sick for you really wouldn't it rather than being proud of how self sufficient [but foolish] you were in that circumstance...

our work is 30 mins prior to shift and if I was throwing up I certainly wouldn't want to be on the phone. it's not unreasonable to get some one to phone in on your behalf especially if it's that severe. what is wrong with people???? I don't think age comes into it at all.

Fgs mumsnet is bonkers sometimes! Op, ywnbu to try to give as much notice as possible for someone who was ill (anyone, daughter, husband, housemate) ywnbu to expect to be treated like a human being (courteously, with appropriate gratitude for attempting to assist). The nurse wbu to be rude to anyone for any reason. She was also u to assume you and her colleague were lying. She was then more u to gossip to other colleagues. She would have been perfectly reasonable to ask for a call back from your daughter asap just to confirm.

It doesn't matter if this is your daughter or a stranger off the street, neither of you deserved to be treated like that and I would most certainly be putting in a complaint to management in your own right. Don't worry about the text, all you need to say is "it has come to my attention that..." sadly the care industry can be pretty disgusting for its treatment of staff, her behaviour doesn't surprise me at all (being in the same role as her) but nothing will change if people like this are allowed to continue unchecked. I am pretty certain this industry would be the worst for bullying if only people would report but, for some reason, everyone puts up with it

As an example I was involved in a very minor rta. The most affected was a young lady of similar age on her way to work. This was 15 minutes before her shift. She was shaken up and had to be checked over by the paramedics. I went to her work to explain - a complete stranger. Her workplace were full of gratitude for my making the effort to go in, not one person was sniffy let alone rude. It is just common decency.

The Nurse who took the call was unprofessional as well as rude.

Probably she will struggle to find cover when people find out she is on duty.

Your daughter is an adult, she should make the call. Please do not phone again or complain, you will come across as a helicopter parent of an adult.

She's an adult. You only ring if she's in hospital. Mate is in hr says she even gets young adults texting in

Surely none of this matters now? the DD WAS very ill (ill enough to have a family member call) and will have documentation to prove it so the allegedly rude boss will feel very sheepish for casting aspersions when she is presented with the evidence, even more so as she told a load of other staff all about it. The egg on her face is bound to make her think twice about doing it again.

You say it's your DDs second sickness in one year. I think it was fine to ring in as an emergency. I also think the nurse is unprofessional. Gossiping and rude. I hope you only rang out if hours GP to get a sick note. Hope you didn't go to A&d E.

The OP's dd has been admitted to hospital Formica

I would tell work that because of the nurses attitude you felt forced to take DD out of the house to get a doctors note when really she should have just been in bed being ill

I hope your DD feels better soon

belatedmaybe - good point my mum was part of a small group of nurses who whistleblew about patient care & then reported the bullying that followed the whistle blowing.

Without going into the whole affair suffice it to say my mum is often approached by younger nurses who have told her they respect what she did & want to report bullying instances themselves but having seen what happened to her & her colleagues don't feel able to.

It's not clear whether this is an NHS job but I think until management sort out their issues of corporate bullying & their reluctance to deal with bullying within the NHS then people will continue to not report. And good luck to those who do - they'll need it.