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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my childminder to collect her child from a school...

249 replies

persimmon · 06/08/2013 22:18

.. about 5 miles away after she's collected my DS and her other mindees from their school? I can't figure out if I'm being mean. Basically, her child will start senior school in September. She applied to one outside the catchment and got in. CM doesn't want her child getting the bus, so is planning on driving to her child's school every day with all her mindees. The senior school is in a different place entirely and will involve a significant drive on busy main roads during school run time.

I just feel like we pay her to look after DS and don't want him stuck in a car for what could be almost an hour after school. Or is this normal for a CM to do?

OP posts:
BoundandRebound · 06/08/2013 22:21

So change childminders

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble · 06/08/2013 22:22

Do you not drive your kids ever?!

YABVU IMO

But she is too by placing her child in a school that means he needs to catch a bus and then not letting him catch one...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 06/08/2013 22:22

Not used a cm but I think you have got a point, however its unlikely that she will change her arrangements if she's already told you that this is what's happening. What alternative childcare is available in your area?

NarkyNamechanger · 06/08/2013 22:23

Yes you do pay her but she's not going to suddenly pretend she doesn't have a son!

YABU!

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/08/2013 22:23

Yabu.

Change your childminder if it's such a problem for you.

Sirzy · 06/08/2013 22:24

Change childminder then. Do you really expect her to put your wish for your child to not sit in a car ahead of what she feels is best for her child?

Beastofburden · 06/08/2013 22:24

I think an hour in the car every day is not what you are paying for. I would change childminders, perhaps she will find a family with kids at this new secondary school who will be delighted she is offering a school run, so it will be ok for her (I do see it is hard for her too).

McNewPants2013 · 06/08/2013 22:25

Yabu.

I thought the whole point of a childminder is for a child can have a home away from home kind of care.

50BalesOfHay · 06/08/2013 22:25

Yanbu. I'd be looking for alternative childcare.

maja00 · 06/08/2013 22:26

Fine for you not to want that and to change childcare.

Original poster
persimmon · 06/08/2013 22:26

I could change CM I guess but DS is settled with her. It's a bit of a grey area isn't it - she's a professional CM but this seems to allow for shuttling her mindees around to suit her own family's needs. I don't consider a potentially lengthy car journey as proper childminding really.
Happy to be flamed - I only have one DC so no previous experience of it.

OP posts:
Cindy34 · 06/08/2013 22:26

Normal for a childminder to do things for their own children. Their own children come first.
If you don't want your child going on the school run, then you need to look for alternative childcare.

soverylucky · 06/08/2013 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoundandRebound · 06/08/2013 22:28

10 mile round trip would be 20 mins tops, not sure where you are getting the hour from

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 06/08/2013 22:28

Either change now or wait and see how it works out. She may get fed up of it herself quite soon and decide that actually her DS can get the bus like all the others, or he may beg her to let him.

maja00 · 06/08/2013 22:29

Most CMs do their job so they can be at home with their own children. It's not a nursery so think you have to accept their children get at least equal weighting as your own.

NatashaBee · 06/08/2013 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
persimmon · 06/08/2013 22:31

It could easily be more like 20-30 minutes each way as she will need to leave our town, travel on busy A roads to another village with bottle necks the whole way. DH works in the same village so I'm familiar with the journey. Rush hour starts here about 3:30.

OP posts:
bunchamunchycrunchycarrots · 06/08/2013 22:34

My CM does this every week, collects my DD then drives probably the same distance i.e. 5 miles or so to collect her own DD from high school. It's the reason she's a CM so that she can be there to collect her DD. I have no problem with it whatsoever. They chat and sing on the way there and then her DD and her friend chat on the way home to my DD. I honestly can't see your problem.

YABU

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/08/2013 22:34

You understand that most childminders do their job so they can spend more time with their own children right? It's not a nursery they're running.

If your DS is settled and you simply can't move him, it looks like you'll just have put up with it.

Highly unlikely she'll put your child before her own.

pigletmania · 06/08/2013 22:35

Yabu she has Chidren who need picking up and taking to school. Find another CM if your not happy with this

GoingUpInTheWorld · 06/08/2013 22:35

IMO your not paying for your child to be in a car for most of the time they are with their childminder.

I would change cm

Redlocks30 · 06/08/2013 22:35

I wouldn't fancy that if it were my child, tbh. She's unlikely to change her plans for you though so maybe it's best to start researching alternatives?

Mia4 · 06/08/2013 22:35

Would it really be that much longer a journey? I just checked google maps and it agrees it shouldn't take more than 10 minutes on top of the normal journey even in busy school times. It takes me just over that in busy rush hour traffic.

If you don't want it then change minders, she won't change for you since she's told you her plans. But if she's good in every other aspect and compromises to your advantage you maybe shooting yourself in the foot, there could be a time you need flexibility so you should factor that in. But if she's rigid and inflexible probably not.

PearlyWhites · 06/08/2013 22:36

Yabu get a nanny and pay a premium

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