To not want my childminder to collect her child from a school...

[persimmon]

.. about 5 miles away after she's collected my DS and her other mindees from their school? I can't figure out if I'm being mean. Basically, her child will start senior school in September. She applied to one outside the catchment and got in. CM doesn't want her child getting the bus, so is planning on driving to her child's school every day with all her mindees. The senior school is in a different place entirely and will involve a significant drive on busy main roads during school run time.

I just feel like we pay her to look after DS and don't want him stuck in a car for what could be almost an hour after school. Or is this normal for a CM to do?

[BlingBang]

if it does take an hour a day then can understand your worry. saying that, i like spending time with my kids in the car. they read or we chat and sing etc. it can be niceafter a day at school.

[LoveSewingBee]

I would look for another childminder.

[Redlocks30]

WSS. I agree with exotic fruits. You may be offering a home from home environment but 5 hours a week in the car isn't exactly quality time, is it? How long is your child with her in total over the course of a week, OP?

[exoticfruits]

I think it is very important for older children to be independant. When my eldest was 11yrs I had a 3yr old and a 1yr old and I wouldn't have had them in the car for that length of time each day when there was a bus.
If I was a childminder I certainly wouldn't- it is a job. Somethings you can make child friendly, e.g shopping can involve them and be educational.
I can't see how she can justify it to Ofsted or how she can get a good rating from them.
If it was me I would definitely find another CM.

[nooka]

One way of looking at it would be to imagine that instead of mindees the childminder had a large family, with say four primary age children. Would she then be opting to always pick up the eldest from school, knowing that all her other children would be stuck in the car for up to an hour every day.

If not then it is not unreasonable to think that it's not OK for mindees either. Personally given the choice I would be telling my dd to get the bus because I'd not want to take on that drive (and I think it is important for older children to be independent in any case)

[MaryPoppinsBag]

Personally I wouldn't let parents know until it was close to the 4 week notice period. I have to earn a living and I'm totally at the mercy of parents to pay my bills. And when parents need to give notice they don't give a hoot! They do what is best for them.

Not nice but its business. She probably knew OP wouldn't be keen and left it until now say. She hasn't left OP in the lurch as she can still provide care, albeit not to OP requirements.

[Charlottehere]

Not bu!!!!!

[Charlottehere]

Yabu.

[nokidshere]

Yes that's what I mean about communication! I told my parents when we chose the school and again when we got the places to remind them.

[TheDoctrineOfAllan]

Op may have just found out child wasnt taking the bus...

[nokidshere]

Presumably the OP has known which school the cm's child is going to since March 1st? Plenty of time to have asked or been told about travel arrangements. Most people at our primary school have been discussing travel arrangements for their children since they put down their choices over a year ago.

As a CM I make sure that my parents are the first to know of any change to my service so that they have time to re-evaluate and plan. Sounds to me like more communication is required between OP and her minder.

[CaterpillarCara]

My school run is a three mile round trip but because of where you have to park to be safe, traffic, the timings of children coming out, the fact there are eight other schools between here and there, etc, it can easily take an hour by car.

I would not be happy with this proposed arrangement. What I would do would depend on whether I thought it would last and what my other choices were.

[NarkyNamechanger]

Pet hate of mine too mintyy :)

[tattyteddy]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You pay her to mind your child, and time spent over a week in the car will add up. I wouldn't like this for my DD.

[Mintyy]

Yanbu, but why not put the whole question in the thread title?

Really - why not? Mumsnet allows really long thread titles.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Travelling 5 miles from my house in one direction would take 5 - 10 minutes depending on the traffic lights. In the other direction depending on the traffic it could take over an hour. So a 10 mile round trip from my house would take between 10 minutes and over 2 hours depending on direction and traffic.

That is why I try to walk / cycle everywhere!

[AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom]

Well, the OP said 20-30 minutes for 5 miles. That wouldn't be unusual in many large towns and cities at busy times and on particular routes.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

ps it took me 45mins to drive 6 miles along a certain stretch of road today, always does in blondesland anytime after 3.30/4pm plus its summer hols so quieter then normal -can easily take an hour when school is on

[Blondeshavemorefun]

as many have said using a cm services means she decides what she does and if you the parent dont like it then dont use her

you dont get to decide what she does, tho i do think she is mad driving pandering her child, at 11ish they are capable of getting a bus

you can either allow ds to go in the car on this journey or find a new cm or look at after school nannies/care in school etc

[Ghirly]

My own childminder lives 5 miles from my home, it does not take me anywhere near an hour to drop DD off and go to work (which is beside my home)

Can't help feeling this has been exaggerated and blown out of proportion.

Can't see how 10 miles can take an hour to drive!!!!!

[Sleepyhead33]

Also, with the expectation that most children are secure up to at least phase 5 by the end of y1 and the phonics screening test now firmly in place. I think many more schools will, sadly, have to do more (not all day!) 'formal' teaching of phonics even in reception.

Anyway, sorry to go off topic persimmon, I hope you have found the responses around your issue helpful.

[TheDoctrineOfAllan]

Nokids, not much point doing a dummy run in the school holidays when traffic will be very different.

[Sleepyhead33]

They certainly shouldn't spend most of the day sitting in reception nokidshere however even in reception they are expected to sit for longer periods than they would have previously. We have assemblies every day for example and they will sit ( in small groups) for phonics and maths sessions. The children may choose to sit to play games with friends and even for simple things like colouring in.
Just because activities are child led and play based does not mean that the children never choose to sit. Indeed, it can be hard getting some of the children outside and moving about if they are used up to lots of 'screen time' at home!
In y1 &y2 the children will be expected to sit for even greater periods of time so no I don't think I would be happy to be paying for childcare after school which involved one hour sitting in a car every day!

[sameoldIggi]

A nursery like that would be great, could have both dcs in it. None in the city I live in though (well not in my half of it anyway)

[Floralnomad]

Lots of nurseries run after school clubs ,they collect from school and keep them until 6 or whenever they close .