To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

[nomorecrumbs]

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! Sparkling

Arse Biscuits, sorry couldn't help myself.

The poo wee water, could just be general dirt that he hasn't washed off properly but it sounds like there could be poo in there as well.

the urban dictionary knows no bounds! Fandruff! AARRGG!!

I am so grossed out right now, really hoping I have never used your bathroom....

You have suffered too long in silence OP

Poopareils.

I have 2 really lovely friends who always dress really smartly and have the most beautiful, stylish, pristine house. We were once talking about little things that irritate us about our Dps. One of them said that his Dp was very naughty as he was always leaving "Chugnuts" around the toilet and on the bathroom carpet.....I said "What on earth are those??". He explained and I nearly threw up! I still don't get it though. If you shower daily and wipe your arse properly how does it happen?

I had managed to repress that conversation until tonight!!

We call them Gruffnuts btw. Don't think I've ever actually seen one IRL. Let alone free-range ones.

I was eating when I opened this thread. Chocolate mouse. Oddly enough have had to stop

How on earth do you get a DP to change the way he sits on the toilet without sounding like his MIL or making him feel like a 2 year old?

I'm worried I'm just becoming a nag.

We ought to link to this thread for those on strict diets. What a great appetite suppressant!

There are only two legitimate places for poo...your rectum and the toilet bowl...He must surely understand this - and now take measures to rectify his oversight. He is an adult and needs to take control of his bodily functions. Yes, it is emasculating for him to be pulled up on his inability to wipe his bottom, but has an adult he should never have placed you in the position where you have to act as his mother...it is in his own hands to remedy.

You poor thing, never mind wet wipes get a bidet. We have one that came with our new build, so it cant just be your husband with this problem.

They are also great for washing after sex, saves getting in the shower.

Presumably when your DH takes his undercrackers off of an evening poo crumbs are being flung all over the place?

I feel irrational rage towards MIL for letting him go so long without pulling him up on this. Now I have to do it!

I guess it's because he grew up with a cleaner who would never have dared address the issue...and still doesn't because his brother leaves them around his bathroom, too.

Send him back to his Mother for lessons in Bottom Wiping.....

If he acts like a 2yo what other choice do you legitimately have ? Tell him to clean up his act.

Or just leave the dirty bastard to roll in his own shite like the monkeys in the zoo. And remember to never invite any self-respecting MN'er to your house.

Oh god Sparkling. I never look. I'm always in bed before that happens.

I guess it's a blessing that his underwear is all dark...otherwise I'd be on here complaining about doing the laundry instead of cleaning the toilet.

I used to moan about this. He pointed out that I bleed everywhere. Fair cop

We both made a bit more effort but, tbh, it was largely a question of mutual forebearance and washing the sheets more often ...

My DP is very hairy round the bum, but he never leaves poo crumbs. And DS has been taught to wipe properly as well.

And here is the NHS guide to proper hand washing

Yes but garlic, when you're on you can't stop the flow, whereas poo is a one-time-then-it's-done clean-up act.

SO glad it isn't just me who has to suffer though I knew I wasn't the only one!

Oh, just no.
As you are sexing him, poo crumbs are actually falling off his chocolate starfish?!!
My fanny would grow a new hymen to repel his vile, shitty advances. How the F do you get wet knowing he is going to spray shit up the walls as he thrusts? I am at a loss.

OMFG - I want to boak just reading this. Are you seriously happy sharing a house with hiim and his shit??

There are 3 of you in your marriage - him you and the shit.

You either need to get him a crack wax although I doubt any beautician happy to carry out the procedure if there are tagnuts clinging on for dear life and a bedet so his can wash his hair free arsehole of an shit remnants or (my preferred oprion) a divorce siting his Shit habit as reason.

Seriously - i could not share the same room as someone like that let alone have a sexual or intimate relationship with them. How do you have sex in a bed knowing you are shagging amongst dried up balls of shit???

Dear God.

My EYES!!!

What the fuckity fuck in fuckdom.

I am going to wax every inch of my DH to make sure he never ever ever does this.

Ever.

Hand washing! Argh! After we split, I noticed he NEVER had ANY soap in his place! To think what must have been on his hands when he handled the food and handled me

There are 3 of you in your marriage - him you and the shit.

oh my fucking hell!!! I have a hairy dh and 2 hairy dss and never ever heard if this and so wish I hadn't.