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AIBU?

To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

536 replies

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 20:14

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

OP posts:
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Fanjolena · 23/08/2016 15:27

How the hell is his arse not constantly sore from not wiping properly? And why is he so happy to leave a fecal gravel trail behind him? It's fucking rank.Confused

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paddypants13 · 23/08/2016 16:21

Good grief. I forgive dh his many crimes against tidiness after reading this thread, poo crumbs and poo water.

As for fanny dandruff .

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VanillaSugar · 23/08/2016 23:15

Fckkkkk. Dh has read this. He's worked out my MN name.

FckkmmkÄ·kkkkk.

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Kateballs · 23/08/2016 23:23

This is my life. The sweat slice ( V shaped slice of sweat left at the back of the toilet seat where DPS arse cheeks have been spread apart and condensation has built up during the 48 minutes he's been sat on the shitter)is where I find the poo crumbs and black fluff.
He also refuses to wear anything in bed.
Joy.

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thecook · 24/08/2016 00:25

It is a troll.

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ellabeansdad · 24/08/2016 01:56

People who stand to wipe leave crumbs all over the seat or the floor. (Depending on technique, perhaps both). Regardless of the level of anal carpeting, shit flakes off when you wipe it with dry paper. No question. Most of them don't realize it's happening and find themselves wondering where the little rolled up toilet paper bits elsewhere in the house come from. Those paper bits are a product of your rectum, dry paper, and friction. Grow up folks, buy a bidet. It's the future. Heathens.

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heyday · 24/08/2016 02:48

Do not flush wipes down the toilet; it's an environmental catastrophe!!!!!!
Get yourself a bidet installed and make sure he puts his furry arse in it several times a day!
Failing that get yourself a new,non hairy arsed bloke to share your bed with.

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whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 24/08/2016 03:43

I feel sick just reading this

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andaz123 · 24/08/2016 04:27

i cannot breathe for laughing,

but i would LTB!!!

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Yorkieheaven · 24/08/2016 04:43

The most disgusting thread I ever read after God knows how many years here.

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Vixxfacee · 24/08/2016 18:24

Doesn't every one use Andrex wet wipes or similar Confused

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littleshirleybeans · 24/08/2016 18:41

THIS IS A ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!!
(I remember it first time round, actually!)

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idivorcedapoohcrumber · 24/08/2016 22:02

oh my goodness reading all these threads made me so happy!

firstly i now know i am normal. secondly i now know i was entirely right in finding the pooh crumb situation (for 13 years ladies and gentlemen, 13 years) utterly repulsive and unacceptable and thirdly i now know that asking him to use wet wipes and skipping around the subject trying not to hurt his feelings was in fact a complete waste of time and am now divorced!!!

i tolerated pooh crumbs EVERYWHERE. even when we started dating it was a problem. i admit i have ocd but this was a massive issue for me and i was made to feel like it was perfectly normal and that i should get over it. pooh crumbs on the bed sheets, pooh crumbs on the boxer shorts, pooh crumbs on the towel even AFTER having a bath!!!! it stressed me out so bad, i made SO much effort to be nice about it, skirted around the issue and was always made to feel like i was being unreasonable. NOT COOL.

so the long and short of it is, it's not ok, it is not normal and no you do not have to tolerate it. i am now divorced (not directly because of the pooh crumbs) and with a new partner who showers daily (sometimes more) and is more than capable of looking after his beautiful behind. he wouldn't even dream of leaving pooh crumbs anywhere ANYTIME and finds the whole scenario quite unbelievable.

i wish you love and light (and clean bedsheets and towels...oh and toilet seats)

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LoveInTokyo · 25/08/2016 22:51

idivorcedapoohcrumber Grin Star

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ArabellaRockerfella · 25/08/2016 23:27

Yes!! I too suffer DH Pooh Crumbs!! It drives me up the wall!!!

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BocaDeTrucha · 25/08/2016 23:58

A 3-year old thread . How the hell do people find these.... Did someone Google "poo crumbs"????

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StillBrill · 26/08/2016 00:02

omg..... eewww

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WetPaint4 · 26/08/2016 06:34

Gross!! That is the nastiest shit I've read in a while. Why would you share this, why???

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Oldisthenewblack · 26/08/2016 15:19

I had an ex who was also very hairy. Also had several poos per day. Never smelled bad. Twice I noticed skid marks on the side of the bed where he had sat (sat, I said SAT) as he was getting out of bed. We didn't often spend the night together so it could well have been a regular occurrence as far as I know. He also had a habit of having a bowel movement just before he had a shower (great, lovely) but then putting the toilet seat down before flushing, probably meaning to flush later (why??) but of course, by the time he was out of the shower, he'd forgotten. He also always wore pants in bed and I know he scratched his arse in the night. I used to try persuade him to sleep naked, and he did if pushed, but after a while I realised that it was probably safer to scratch his arse through pants rather than with bare fingers Confused.

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Bobochic · 26/08/2016 15:21

This is slovenly personal hygiene and is not acceptable behaviour.

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Oldisthenewblack · 26/08/2016 15:27

Oh god - I've seen the little bits of toilet paper round the bathroom too!! I never realised!!

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user1472245127 · 10/09/2016 17:35

Are you sure he's not stashing biscuits or night eating...surely it can't be poo...my fellas hairy if I saw shit in my bed I'd batter him...mind you I had a bypass an shat on him once...but just once mind...

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mrsfuzzy · 10/09/2016 17:38

read out of curiosity, now i know why the cat died.. this is sooo grim.

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RichardBucket · 10/09/2016 17:53

Whining about zombie threads is so irritating.

Also, there are several women in this thread who need to seriously raise their standards. Why the fuck would you marry a man who thinks this is okay?

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HowAboutCleveland · 28/09/2017 14:46

Wet wipes Envy not envy

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