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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

536 replies

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 20:14

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/07/2013 22:17

Nomorecrumbs - yes, it is true - well, it is true that perineal fallout'is the reason that was given for us going over to scrubs with trousers. Whether it is an actual thing I am afraid I cannot say.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 31/07/2013 22:18

OMFG!!! I think I have laughed out a bit of wee reading this thread. I nominate it for Classics. Re-vol-ting!

Ledkr · 31/07/2013 22:20

Good grief.
I vow to never again moan at dh for eating in bed.
In fact I shall positively roll in his toast crumbs.
Ewww how do you still fancy him?

AnyFucker · 31/07/2013 22:21

My SOH has well and truly failed < stony >

whois · 31/07/2013 22:28

4-5 days max - means you can just do loads of spoiling and keep reality at bay - which really is what being an Auntie is all about ...

^This.

Fucking disgusting. He needs to wet wipe thoroughly or bidet after every toilet trip. What a rancid human being.

whethergirl · 31/07/2013 22:29

Eww my kitten left a couple of poo crumbs in my bed recently! I'm hoping he'll grow out of it.

katatonic · 31/07/2013 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gruntfuttock · 31/07/2013 22:30

How are you happy to let him cook you a meal when you know he doesn't wash his hands properly? Don't you feel ill at the thought of it, let alone feel ill after you've eaten it?

scratchandsniff · 31/07/2013 22:31

Oh my good god I've laughed so hard I think I've cracked a rib. It's funny and disgusting all at the same time.

Your husband is gross! Didn't his parents ever teach him to wipe his arse properly?

Gruntfuttock · 31/07/2013 22:32

The fact that you've seen the evidence that his brother is the same is just appalling. What's the matter with them?

Kabuki · 31/07/2013 22:37

Laughing and feeling queasy in equal measures. What a noun: poo crumbs. If you have raised this, he has to take action. How can he not be absolutely mortified? Good luck Nomorecrumbs............boak

Mumsnut · 31/07/2013 22:37

Leave the basturd

LayMizzRarb · 31/07/2013 22:38

After years of being on mumsnet, thinking I have read it all, this thread comes along. The thought of laying in someone's shit at night makes my blood run cold. I need to go and have a shower and a scratch.

pigletmania · 31/07/2013 22:39

I think imam feeling a little Envy

PrettyKitty1986 · 31/07/2013 22:39

WTF is a poo crumb? Hmm

GilmoursPillow · 31/07/2013 22:46

I don't care if the OP is real or not Grin

CoolaSchmoola · 31/07/2013 22:47

Just a little tiny thought...

He goes to bed with winnets anchored to his pubes which in turn are anchored to his ass.

In the morning said winnets and pubes are spread over the bed....

The only explanation for this is him SCRATCHING them loose with his FINGERS whilst sleeping!!!!!

The toilet seat is the least of your worries, he's no doubt got crumbs under his finger nails!!! Bleeee!

Dear God please please don't let him be a nail biter, or that morning breath first kiss of the day is actually shit breath.... Literally. And you are also eating it.

I have made myself feel sick as fuck.

katatonic · 31/07/2013 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoldAtAuction · 31/07/2013 23:00

ewww, narsty! Please tell me he doesn't prepare food for you, or kids, or any one...

OneHolyCow · 31/07/2013 23:01

Okay, so then I think it cannot get any worse and then someone says that nurses and doctors have to wear scrubs because of fecal stuff that falls in the operating theater?? Who does that?

Oh my holy feck.

No more!

pomdereplay · 31/07/2013 23:03

This is too outright manky for me to find funny!

I am amazed that people with such a basic inability/refusal to care for themselves and not inflict their faeces on others are able to find someone who wants to sleep with them. Every day's a school day I guess.

Morloth · 31/07/2013 23:06

I live in a house full of boys.

Sharp lego, stinky gym bags, soccer balls, tennis rackets all these are hazards to be expected.

I can honestly say that the only poo I have had to deal with was that of a baby or potty training toddler.

We are all so hairy we could pass for monkeys. Still no poo crumbs...

bellablot · 31/07/2013 23:06

FFS too much info alert Shock

Gruntfuttock · 31/07/2013 23:11

SoldAtAuction Yes he does prepare food, look at OP's post at Wed 31-Jul-13 21:24:54, he cooked prawns last night and she has "a dodgy tummy" today. She also knows he doesn't wash his hands properly (same post).

Why you've accepted living like this OP I can't understand. Vile.

Earthworms · 31/07/2013 23:12

Boak

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