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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

536 replies

nomorecrumbs · 31/07/2013 20:14

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

OP posts:
Supertrooper88 · 31/07/2013 23:15

Someone needs to send Aggie and Kim around to clean your house!!

Sorry but it sounds vile and makes you sound vile too for living like this.

This is not normal by the shittiest of standards!

EssexEmmaB · 31/07/2013 23:18

Two words!!!! Rug nuggets!!

gloriafloria · 31/07/2013 23:26

Have just spent wasted the last hour reading this thread and can honestly say have not laughed/snorted so much since I can remember.

I sympathise op but can I say thank you for the entertainment.

thebody · 31/07/2013 23:32

'my fanny would grow a new hymen' absolutely fantastic.

now come in op, surely this IS a wind up?

Kithulu · 31/07/2013 23:34

Aghhh My DH does this too Sad I have been trying to formulate an AIBU for a while but couldn't quite bring myself to do it.
He kinda leaves a dry crumbly skid on the back of the toilet seat, as someone else said ,like he is sitting all the way back and peeing as well. It is so gross. I usually don't notice until he has gone to work then forget by the time he come home. Blush
He is already in bed and asleep so I can't inspect the sheets. I have never noticed crumbs there though.

WandaDoff · 31/07/2013 23:35

I only came on here for a bit of stealth late night MNetting. Shock

Well anyway, I've seen enough. I'm off to scour myself in the shower & then I'm going to bed.

Patosshades · 31/07/2013 23:47

To have dried up crap falling off him must mean he's not wiping at all. I hope this is a wind up.

MrsKoala · 01/08/2013 00:07

Right, er, from my investigations into the reason you get poo crumbs on the loo seat, i have found the reason to be, you have a hairy ring piece, do a loose-ish stool (one which leaves quite a bit of poo on the paper when you wipe), you wipe with dry paper (sitting far back or wipe standing just in front of the loo), as you repeatedly wipe the area the loo paper dries out the poo on your nipsy and as you wipe it flies of/out and lands in a 6in/foot radius (depending on the vigour of your wipage). Therefore the seat is left flecked with these 'crumbs'. (this is often the case if you have had a particular skinful of Guinness the day before)

If you don't complete your mission, the crumbs will be deposited in your underwear and bed.

neverbefore · 01/08/2013 00:09

im worried that a few people have now opened up and said this happens to their husbands as well , im dreading coming back on here in the morning to see how many more blokes have shit caked arses , also a bit worried that they are dry and crumbly do you think they are drinking enough ?

ZillionChocolate · 01/08/2013 00:16

I'm going to have nightmares about this.

JaceyBee · 01/08/2013 00:17

Poo crumbs!! Jeez!!

All I can say is, thank the good lord I'm single! The shit some women put up with. Literally.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 01/08/2013 00:18

Just in case no oe else has said it - Greensleeves is that you? Grin

Off to read past the first page.....

Lora1982 · 01/08/2013 00:20

Hahaaaaa poo crumbs Grin trying to snigger quietly to keep people sleep but I cant help it

MrsKoala · 01/08/2013 00:24

I would like to point out that my investigations are not based on DH, and are actually based on personal experience and from discussions with a female friend. However, the idea of not cleaning it all up and not cleaning yourself properly and depositing crumbs in your bed is out of order. But i'm pretty sure as a 'thing' it happens to both genders.

foreverondiet · 01/08/2013 00:27

Vile. Never heard the term.

Use sensitive baby wipes. Say he can't sleep naked if you wants you to share a bed with him.

deepfriedsage · 01/08/2013 00:29

I can't believe there are several mnetters, opening their legs and mouths to filthy fucking beasts with shitty arses.

recall · 01/08/2013 00:32

I actually feel actually ill Sad

deepfriedsage · 01/08/2013 00:37

You actually would be ill if you gave a bj to one of these shifty arses men, or had food prepared by their unwashed shifty fingers, Boak.

deepfriedsage · 01/08/2013 00:38

*shitty

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 01/08/2013 00:39

This is exactly what flushable moist toilet tissue is for. 3 of the 4 men I live with are hairy. 1 of my DSs would give Mr Tumnus a run for his money but there are no poo crumbs ever.

I still think this bears all the hallmarks of greenseleeves's excellent work.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 01/08/2013 00:41

Oh now I quite liked the sound ofshifty arses men Grin

deepfriedsage · 01/08/2013 00:41

Getting grossed out more now. If as previously suggested he rubs his arse in sleep, then has a fiddle with op in the morning...

5madthings · 01/08/2013 00:45

Dear god there are other mnetters with partners who leave poo crumbs on the loo seat?!!

Seriously this is beyond rank, boak boak boak

deepfriedsage · 01/08/2013 00:48

Best contraception ever, poo crumbs.

CatsAndTheirPizza · 01/08/2013 00:52

Poo troll surely.

Sorry to be pedantic, but doesn't something have to dry out before it can become a crumb?