TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

You're going to have to start yet another thread Tidydancer

Is anyone starting to feel a bit sorry for the bride?

Oh. Hell. No.

I love the live, trained swans. .

Heres the thread - a true bridezilla in practice. And FWIW despite the agreement in the thread my friend never went to the wedding as bridezilla got worse! I'm the friend who did the childcare!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1002108-to-think-she-39-s-a-bridezilla?msgid=20526365

This just gets better and better. I'm with everyone else saying just reply with the facts in a friendly and calm way.

Set the record straight then disengage. Make it very clear that you never offered or agreed to help.

And I love the bit about "it's never a good idea to demonatrate clearly to someone how little they mean to you just before asking them for a massive favour."

I WANT A SWAN!!!!

tidy will you give up a day to find me a swan. You can sort out your own childcare and I don't want anyone to see you giving me a swan, but I want a swan and you are the Bly person in the world who can possibly get me a swan.
If you DON'T get me a swan, I am telling on you to my sister

Just done a Zombie thread resurrection I need to know what the BZ in youarewinning's link did after the bridesmaid debacle!

Itsallaboutyou - i am always angry on behalf of those when someone is treating them badly. Perhaps i am over empathetic, i don't know. I don't see any group hatred here, more people bewildered at the situation this woman is perpetuating. Things which would make me furious are certain words, like 'relying'. I think even if you forgot the whole STD business, and even that it was a wedding you weren't invited to, and someone had just asked you to do something inconvenient, and you said no, then their sister emailed saying they were upset and 'relying' on you to do it, i would be pretty cross at the presumptuousness alone. Let alone adding the back catalogue of poor behaviour.

i don't 'hate' the bridezilla, i just think she's let the whole thing go to her head and is behaving outrageously. That and we are all just enjoying the group astonishment that some have such different standards of normal behaviour so we are over exaggerating for comic effect. For example i didn't reaaallly cut off anyones toes for this thread

BZ was a friend of a friend . She didn't get another bridesmaid just had the others.

Friend thought all was OK and text her wishing her a good day on the morning and next day to say wish she'd had a good time. Apparently BZ went all Godzilla and asked why she cared etc.

They do not speak now I wonder why?!

I agree with MrsKoala about the "relying" thing. Its perfectly reasonable to say "But I was relying on you!" to someone who has agreed to do something, all set in stone and then they back out at the last minute. But to say it to someone who you hadnt at that point even asked, and then when you did they said no, totally U!

Aw thanks Queen. :)

I would be totally happy to give up a day for a trained swan. I am quite easily pleased.

I haven't been on here for a few days, just caught up with the gluezilla story. Wow, just wow

May I suggest a pack of rabies squirrels as a more suitable alternative for gluezillas special day?

*rabied

Get her a gift of ....what are those monkeys that go utterly ape(!)shit if you get too close or they are in a confined space? Begins with M..... well one of them! Keep it in a box for 24 hours then hand deliver the box to the wedding :o

raspberry

I don't want to miss the new thread! Please link it ;-)

Good God...

Yeah, I'd tell the sister straight out, once you learned you weren't invited to the wedding, you made other plans and you feel it'd be unreasonable to change them at the last minute to accommodate a bride of a wedding to which you were not invited.

Sheesh...just typing that made me roll my eyes!

I like Horry's suggestion but with one alteration, if you haven't already replied.

Take out the bit in bold - but still not be invited to share her special day - as it could still look like you are angling for an invitation in exchange for your help.

And possibly take out this bit - but maybe she will once she has children of her own - as well.

Dear Sister Of The Bride

I'm sorry to hear that Gluezilla is upset. I thought we had come to an understanding.

She invited me to her wedding last year by way of a Save The Day card, and I made plans accordingly. I've since learned that I'm not invited after all, which I've accepted as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue but still not be invited to share her special day. I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and expensive childcare in order to do so.

I can't believe Gluezilla doesn't realise what an imposition this is given how thoughtful she normally is, but maybe she will once she has children of her own. I simply can't help on this occasion.

Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing the pictures in due course.

Kind regards
Tidy

Macaque monkeys Bogey?

Goodness, Tidy, if you weren't a regular I'd be suspicious by now - this thread just keeps on giving in the most satisfying ways.

The sister has to not know that you're not invited, right? I mean, even if we ignore the STD issue, and the non-invite issue, which are huge massive issues in their own right... how can anyone think it's alright to pressure someone into doing a massive favour, for free, when they've consistently and politely said no! I mean, even if you were a guest!

I do not think I would apologising because Gluezilla is upset. My version would be:

Dear Gluezilla sister I think you have misunderstood the situation.

When I received my Save The Day cardlast year I made plans accordingly. I booked time off work and I organised childcare for the day of the wedding however I've since learned that I'm not invited after all. I completely accept this as I appreciate that every bride has budgetary constraints and family pressures that change over time.

What I didn't expect was then to be asked to decorate her venue given the imposition that involves and the fact that her close friends are unavailable as they are attending the wedding, I would consider that role to be more appropriate for a professional . In order for me to do it I would have had to rearrange time off work (which I had cancelled once I knew I wasn't invited) and then pay for childcare on a day I am not working. I have explained this to gluezilla and I have never agreed to be involved in decorating the venue because of that.

Anyway enjoy the day I hope you have a fantastic time.

I quite like the gate-crashing the wedding idea.

PM everyone on the thread Tidy and hordes of us could be there doing a wedding Thriller dance complete with glue-sniffing. I'm sure it could easily be incorporated into the choreography. The venue could be decorated with OFRS and the like.

I think the best way to reply to the sister would be to send her a link to these two threads. She may be unaware that you had not been asked prior. When you 'rely' on someone to do something for you, you don't ask them four weeks before and in such a rude manner (ie expecting you to save the date to decorate, not to be invited).