TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

[TidyDancer]

New thread. :)

I am leaning towards a short sharp dose of the truth for the sister. I sort of want to ignore, but there's a very real chance I'm being badmouthed here and I'd at least like to attempt to set the record straight.

That's my current feeling, although I'm not in a desperate hurry to reply!

I agree. Short and factual reply.

Nothing with too much detail that could be misinterpreted by a total lunatic on glue.

Okay, if you feel you have to defend yourself to this woman at least do it at your leisure and hold back on replying straight away.

You will always have the emails as proof if she sticks the boot in so you don't have to reply and if you get wind of any bitching in the future, whip them out!!

God knows what Bridezilla is saying? I think you should fill the sister in.

When is the wedding? And where in the uk?? I feel a mums net gate crash?

Why don't u ring her and see what she is saying about u before u decide?

I agree you dont need to reply, but if it was me i would like to know my feelings were understood.
In my experience academic people often find anything emotionally wordy confusing. She may gain a better understanding if you just state the facts you want to get across.

I would not like to decorate your venue, and I think that it is rude of you to ask me. You cannot send out save the date cards to people and not follow it through with an invitation. I expect I am not the only person to be upset by this. To then ask me to do you a huge favour when you have knocked me off your guest list is quite insulting. Please understand that I have talked this through with many people and they were all as shocked as I was.

D'you know what, I'd bloody laminate those emails and frame them in one of Boots 3for2 if I was you.

Just because I could!

Just don't tell her how many people you've discussed this with.

Don't reply. This sister has nothing whatsoever to do with you and your life and you don't have to answer to her.

You need to say something along the lines of:

"how strange, bridezilla was not upset last time she contacted me and actually apologizedfor her behaviour. I think you must have misunderstood? I never offered or agreed to decorate the wedding venue. Hope you all have a nice day, tidy"

She is trying to blackmail you, you need to be passive aggressive on this one!

Of course you obviously realise that whatever you reply is so going to be read out excitedly to the eagerly waiting Gluezilla.

I personally would reply to sisters email directly to Gluezilla and say as much.

Of course there has been a misunderstanding. Bridezilla sent you a save the date so how on earth can you now not be available on the day of the wedding? For whatever tasks she requires of you?

Don't engage, really.

Your explanation will mean fuck all to them whatever you know to be true.

The thing is you explained. Didn't you? You told her about the STD cards and so on. If she's still moaning or asking, she probably didn't read that bit. Or, she really didn't think it was that big a deal. Sometimes, you can tell and tell people, but they can't hear you.

I think you should tell her exactly what has happened.

I was given a save the date and subsequently told I was not invited to the wedding, fair enough, she can invite who she wants. Although a 'save the date' is normally, well, save the date because I want you at my wedding, not save the date in case I decide I am going to invite you.

She then asked me to decorate the hall so that it was all nice for the people she DID want at her wedding.

I found that insulting and I at no point agreed to do it.

If it is felt that someone is not a good enough friend to be invited to your wedding, it is very rude to expect them to decorate the venue and then bugger off, don't you think?

I am sorry that neither she nor apparently you can see that it was rude and, if I am being honest, a little hurtful.

Please do not contact me again.

If you don't make it very clear - the bride WILL rewrite the entire thing, making you the bad guy!

'there seems to be some misunderstanding. I've neither agreed to nor offered to decorate the venue and gluezilla gave the impression she wasn't upset at all. perhaps you should tell her to contact me if she is, though I will not be decorating the venue at any point. I hope you all have a wonderful time at the wedding'

I hope you don't take this the wrong way Tidy because you really seem like a great person, but you really do seem to surround yourself with utter pisstakers and there reaches a point where maybe that says as much about you as it does about them. I have a feeling that what's happened is that you've been so amenable and understanding in the past that Gluezilla has thought "I can't invite everyone but Tidy will understand that and still be willing to help because she's that sort of person" - basically she's decided that she didn't have to invite you because you're the sort of person who'd still be ok with her and you standing up to her attempted pisstaking has taken her massively by surprise.

At the very least it looks like you need to reevaluate all of your relationships to see if there is an overall pattern here and make a concerted effort to not be a doormat. Or you might even need counselling to convince yourself that you are worthwhile as a person and don't have to run around after people.

Again, I'm not having a go at you - you might just be unlucky and know two complete pisstakers through no fault of your own.

That's a bloody odd post QueenStromba. Are you really trying to suggest that this COULD be somehow Tidy's fault?

I like Hecsy's one

As eagle has said really. What a fecking nerve some people have! Does not care one bit about you, it's me me me. Time to move on

I agree to the advice forwarding her the emails and saying that you think you made it overtly clear that you wouldn't be able to help, especially at such short notice and with childcare to arrange. You are sorry BZ is upset by this but you hadn't expected to be put in the role of decorator and it was a surprise to you that she had even thought to ask you.
Keep it brief and to the point and then ignore any further dramatic emails. Perhaps even say you are going on holiday for the next few days and won't be contactable then conveniently forget to reply afterwards if you get more in your inbox. Space and distance. She is clearly doing a Princess act and not resolving her immediate problem of needing someone to help her (sounds as though she has you pegged as a softie tbh).

I would go with Hecsy's response. ANd purely from a selfish point of view, please email GlueSis soon, I can't wait for her response .