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Original poster

TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

1000 replies

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 23:22

New thread. :)

OP posts:
pigletmania · 31/07/2013 19:55

Queenstromba Hmm

FriskyHenderson · 31/07/2013 19:55

Just forward your Gluezilla emails to Sisterzilla with "FYI"

WafflyVersatile · 31/07/2013 19:56

It could be that the sister wants to iron things out because his sister is upset. Or it could be that her sister isn't quite taken with gluezilla's story.

Did she actually say 'relying on you'? That sounds like gluezilla asked you to save the date specifically so you could do this job. Is this actually something that you do, btw?

If you do reply I'd take the sister's contact as a genuine wish to get to the bottom of it all and hopefully smooth things over between you (probably by you agreeing to decorate the venue) or to find out both sides and be impartial and talk her sister down, and so reply in kind. The sister doesn't seem to have been rude to you.

A verbatim copy of correspondence may be an idea, maybe not.

Other than that something along the lines of what horry said.

Your sister sent me a save the date, so I did. Subsequently she didn't actually invite me which I was a bit disappointed about because in every other case I'm aware of save the dates mean you will be invited. However your sister explained that that was not the case here. Then she invited me to decorate the venue. I declined the invitation. At no point did I say I would do the decorations so I don't understand why she would have been relying on me.

I hope the day goes well for you all.

Or just the bit in bold.

claudedebussy · 31/07/2013 19:56

i like ImTooHecsyForYourParty's response.

i think you should set the record straight as she's obviously been bad-mouthing you. if she was telling the full story then the sister wouldn't be coming to you asking for clarification. obviously the line she's been spinning doesn't add up, hence why she's emailing you.

tell her the truth, with no embellishments or exaggerations. just the facts.

WafflyVersatile · 31/07/2013 19:57

her sister not his sister. Confused

WafflyVersatile · 31/07/2013 19:59

maybe 'at no time did I initimate that I would be available to do the decoration so..'

YellowDinosaur · 31/07/2013 20:00

Another vote for hecsy's response here...

WafflyVersatile · 31/07/2013 20:03

Oh, wait. Was decorating the venue discussed before you found out you weren't invited?

ShellyBoobs · 31/07/2013 20:05

I like hecsy's response, too.

It just needs "cheeky fucker" shoehorning in somewhere and then it'll be perfect.

diddl · 31/07/2013 20:07

I wouldn't bother with the details-the bride will probably spin it to you being the bad guy in any event.

Just tell her-if you must-that you told her sister that you could not decorate for her & have no idea where the idea that you are being relied on comes from.

You were asked, you said no.

QueenStromba · 31/07/2013 20:08

I'm not suggesting it's her fault at all, I'm just saying that pisstakers are drawn to a certain personality type and since Tidy knows more than her fair share of major pisstakers then maybe she is the sort of person who attracts them by being too giving of herself. Basically I'm saying that she might be too damn nice for her own damn good and maybe she should try and be a bit more selfish so that people don't see her as someone they can take the piss with.

MairyHoles · 31/07/2013 20:08

I've been enjoying this thread from the start and have been hoping someone other than gluezilla would approach you! Her email is a gift, it means you have the opportunity to tell someone your side without being a bitch! The sister has been told that you have let her down and I suspect this is the full extent of what she's been told. There would be no reason to tell the story in detail, just a friend has let me down on my wedding day. So now you can simply reply that although you saved the date after receiving the card, when you realised you were never invited to begin with you felt that there was no obligation on you to help decorate the venue for the benefit of those closest to her so you politely declined on both occasions she asked you. Apologise for any misunderstanding on the bride's part, you had only been asked to do this after the invitation failed to arrive, wish her well. If gluezilla knows that her sister knows the true story then (surely) she will be less inclined to moan about you publicly.

Or her sister might also have (as has been mentioned once or twice) more front than Blackpool.

FruOla · 31/07/2013 20:08

Oh god, this just gets worse and worse Shock

I agree with everyone who says that you should simply forward your last email to Gluezillia on to Sisterzilla.

You were clear, concise and described everything unambiguously. There's no point in re-hashing the entire scenario for Sisterzilla in a new email.

And I ask, again, have you spoken to your other local dis-invited friend about this? Because she could find herself in the firing line for 'decorating skivvy'.

itsallaboutyoubaby · 31/07/2013 20:11

I would disengage entirely.

Block/defriend whatever gluezilla on all social media or what have you.

Just walk away. Wouldn't start defending myself to the sister - if she doesn't have the imagination to guess that there may be another side to this then it's very unlikely she'd be prepared to hear it.

It sucks, you've been treated like shit. But enough, draw a line under it, the friendship is fucked.

You have done nothing wrong, now move on.

georgedawes · 31/07/2013 20:12

The sister has emailed you not because she is wondering what has happened, but because bridezilla is still trying to manipulate you into decorating the venue.

Whocansay · 31/07/2013 20:12

Is there some sort of Twat of the Year Award that she's going for, or something?

We appear to have entered the Twilight Zone of rudeness...

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 31/07/2013 20:14

that's another option. copy all communication to the sister.

Betternc4this · 31/07/2013 20:15

Tbf - I kinda understand Queenstromba s pov.

I too am very good humoured and laid back and a reliable and constant friend through thick and thin.

I have many good friends and close family BUT often find that the odd time I say 'No' I too get this reaction > Hmm often followed by flouncing and even leading to a temporary or thankfully rare permanent fall out. I think it is just complete shock that I have said 'No' as it is quite alien to them and they are almost affronted, it seems.

I am a little more assertive and not quite as giving of every penny and spare minute to needy friends and family as I used to be so it doesn't happen as often. But l know what QueenStromba means.

MerrieMelodies · 31/07/2013 20:20

I don't totally understand how this bride person equates to 'too many piss takers' or am I missing some background here?

RaspberrySchnapps · 31/07/2013 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 31/07/2013 20:22

This is the thread that keeps on giving! Grin

I'd keep it short and sweet.

Reply "Did you know I am not invited to this wedding, despite being sent a save-the-date card?"

If she replies with Erm no you can come back with "Well hopefully you'll see why I think it's rude for X to ask me to decorate the hall for people she HAS invited, especially as save-the-date cards are only supposed to be for people you intend to invite."

If she replies with Yes I did come back with "so you think it's OK for X to ask me to decorate the hall for people she HAS invited, especially as save-the-date cards are only supposed to be for people you intend to invite?"

If she starts with But she's sooooo upset! I'd suggest - "so am I actually and it's getting worse that she doesn't see how rude she is being, has not apologised, keeps asking, and now has got you involved, which is frankly astonishing."

If she starts with But they can't invite everyone then say "That's no problem. Her guest list - her choice. But by the same token: My time and free labour - my choice."

AND FINALLY

You could remind her:

It is never a good idea to clearly demonstrate to someone how little they mean to you, just before asking them for a massive favour.

FruOla · 31/07/2013 20:28

This is why Tidy's last email to Gluezillia - forwarded to Sisterzilla is the only way to go.

Tidy simply cannot continue to engage with other members of Gluezilla's family.

HepsibarCrinkletoes · 31/07/2013 20:28

Just tell the sister the fucking truth. What's the point in dicking about. Bride has been rude and a bit thick, clearly isn't understanding what a twat she is. Tell the sister and with any luck she has the spare brain cell to understand.

youarewinning · 31/07/2013 20:29

This thread is the thread that keeps giving Grin

Another who agrees with hecsys reply. I think there's a time to say fuck you and a time to say - actually hang on your taking the piss and you know it.

Xales · 31/07/2013 20:34

It is never a good idea to clearly demonstrate to someone how little they mean to you, just before asking them for a massive favour.

Brilliant

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