Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 2

1000 replies

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 23:22

New thread. :)

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 31/07/2013 21:49

chateauferret that is inspired!

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 21:53

Aternatively, the sister is sick to death of gluezilla herself and is trying to find out wtf is going on, and whether she can sort it all out by being sensible.

In tidys shoes I would lose the whole STD saga (red herring, because gluezilla thinks she was right) and just focus on how it makes you feel to be asked to decorate a hall for a party you are not invited to (which even gluezilla must be able to cram into her brain alongside the floral arrangements )

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 21:53

Agree chateaus limerick is the best if all.

Picturesinthefirelight · 31/07/2013 21:58

I'd reply saying

I'm sorry I'm a bit confused now. When I received a save the date card I assumed that an invitation to the wedding would follow as that's what STDs are for. However when I didn't get an invite and was told I was no longer invited I was naturally disappointed but didn't think anymore of it and so didn't book time off work/organise child are etc.

So when gluezilla asked me to help decorate the venue I was quite surprised seeing as I'm not invited to the wedding and I am not able to help.

Hope she has a good day

Tidy

pigletmania · 31/07/2013 21:59

I bet that she sent you the STD card, so tat you will be free to decorate her hall, I woudent up it past her

Original poster
TidyDancer · 31/07/2013 22:00

The sister wasn't being accusatory, it really did sound like she was genuinely asking what was going on. My real debate in replying is whether or not I could make anything better for anyone by telling her the truth, or just ignoring. I really don't want to be badmouthed for no reason without at least trying to put across my side, if that makes sense....

Queen - you haven't offended me. The issue with my family was more that at one point I was willing to give into my cousin because of her child. She was in a position where she could very well have withdrawn access to her to punish people and thankfully she can no longer do that and while I have contact with the child, I do not have contact with my cousin.

OP posts:
Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 22:02

Pictures, I would be more direct.

"I'm sorry she's upset. I just can't bring myself to decorate the hall for a party she hasn't invited me to, so that the people she really cares about can enjoy it after I have gone home. And I am really upset that she would even ask me to."

Message ends.....

YouTheCat · 31/07/2013 22:02

Tidy, just tell her the facts then she can make her own judgement on whether her dsis has lost the plot or not.

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 31/07/2013 22:05

Yes, tell her the facts.

QueenStromba · 31/07/2013 22:08

That's a relief because I think you're lovely. I was just worried that you were too lovely. :)

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 31/07/2013 22:08

... Because gluezilla hasn't at any point disputed the facts ie she sent you a Std, then no invite, then asked re decorating, then asked if you were kidding when you said no.

The facts speak for themselves!

Bogeyface · 31/07/2013 22:08

I agree with just telling her the facts but do make it clear that at no point were you asked if you would decorate BEFORE the invitations were sent out, otherwise she could turn it around that she didnt invite you as you were being such a bitch about helping.

YouTheCat · 31/07/2013 22:10

And what Bogey said. Make that very clear.

Xales · 31/07/2013 22:11

If you are going to reply I would drop the whole STD thing.

Simple answer. Bride asked you to help. You were not free to do so and said such straight away. You cannot understand why there is any confusion or upset as you never offered or agreed to help.

diddl · 31/07/2013 22:13

I wouldn't say that I'm sorry she's upset, or that I'm upset not to be invited.

Something more along the lines of not feeling inclined to decorate for an event that you're not invited to.

Or just that it's not convenient to decorate & the bride has been told this.

FrancesDeLaTourCoughngIntoABin · 31/07/2013 22:13

Why on earth is she so desperate for you to decorate the bloody hall? In the time she's spent sending you emails and telling her sister all about it, she could have decorated the Sistine Chapel with live, trained swans.

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 22:14

The middle line of diddl. Not the last line, makes tidy look selfish and unreasonable, which she is not,

youarewinning · 31/07/2013 22:14

Had a friend around this evening - told her about a MN thread that's had me Shock for days.

Started with:

*save the date cards sent
*not all STD reciprients got an invite

At that point my friends reply was "what the fuck bride/ groom does that, please tell me what they then asked because it's bound to be something unreasonable" Grin

See even without the rest she's being a cheeky bitch - and for the record my friend was astounded she asked about decorating the hall. She had a thread here once about her being a bridesmaid in AIBU I think. It was almost an astounding - fuck no! (I'll search it out!)

diddl · 31/07/2013 22:15

"If you are going to reply I would drop the whole STD thing."

I agree with that-the sister might have the same wrong idea about them as the bride!

All she needs to know is that the bride has been told no!

It ain't gonna happen!

QueenStromba · 31/07/2013 22:17

Anyway, I agree with being blunt and factual. Something along the lines of:

Your sister sent me a save the date card for her wedding. She then didn't invite me to the wedding with the excuse of save the date cards being for the potential invitees to save the date in case they get invited. Once she made it clear that I was not invited to her wedding, she asked me to help her decorate the venue because she wanted to make it a surprise for the guests. I tried to decline politely but your sister kept asking if I was sure I couldn't do it. I kept being more and more blunt in my reply, trying to get it through to her that she was being incredibly rude but she just didn't seem to understand.

pigletmania · 31/07/2013 22:17

Just tell her the truth, I doubt tat she is getting an accurate picture from her sister

mynameismskane · 31/07/2013 22:18

Please give the sister the FULL facts so she knows what a cunt bridezilla is. Please.

nauticant · 31/07/2013 22:20

If your instincts are to reply OP, then you should.

Like other posters, I also liked the suggestion by ImTooHecsyForYourParty (19:36:43). There is a change I'd make though, I'd replace the final line of:

Please do not contact me again.

with something like:

As far as I'm concerned the matter's now closed. Therefore, I hope you'll understand that I don't want to enter into a discussion about this.

Beastofburden · 31/07/2013 22:20

But don't be subtle or cool or expect anyone to read between the lines. The most important thing is the insult of being asked to decorate the hall for other people to enjoy. Make sure that comes across loud and clear.

onedev · 31/07/2013 22:22

This is shocking Tidy - truly appalling behaviour by the Bride.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.