Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little bit pleased about what has happened to the OW?

224 replies

drfayray · 06/07/2013 14:58

My ex left me after 24 years for this woman who got him interested in kayaking. He spent a fortune on gear and cheated on me for nearly a year on this Kayaking Kunt (KK) as she was known to me. Grin

I am now divorced and trying to live as good a life as I can with my 2 DC.

I have just found out that the KK has extensive nerve damage to both her arms and hands... Caused by kayaking...

Karma is REAL!

OP posts:
Eyesunderarock · 06/07/2013 14:59

Better karma if your husband got crotch rot. Why blame the OW when it was his choice?

MrsLettuce · 06/07/2013 15:00

Then it'll bite you in the ass for taking enjoyment from her tragedy Hmm

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/07/2013 15:00

I would be worried if I found that to be pleasing.

Original poster
drfayray · 06/07/2013 15:00

She behaved really badly as well. She knew he was married. She could have not got involved.

OP posts:
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/07/2013 15:00

Oh sorry YABVU

wonderingsoul · 06/07/2013 15:01

whilst i dont blame you at all. and i think iw ould be feeling the same for a bit of a long brief moment

id soon turn that into to pity.

the best revenge is living a happy life and being indifferent x

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/07/2013 15:01

So could your husband though.

Original poster
drfayray · 06/07/2013 15:01

I know. I am trying not to be pleased as I am not a bad person. But it just seems so well... Fitting...

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 06/07/2013 15:02

In an ideal world we should not be happy at others in situations like this. But when that person is partly responsible for the tearing your world apart I can quite see how you feel just a little bit satisfied that their life is less than perfect.

But I do agree that it would have been far more Karmic if your ex's dick had fallen off!

LittleNoona · 06/07/2013 15:02

Karma is real - and not selective.

Might be worth remembering.

wonderingsoul · 06/07/2013 15:03

irony .. the thing that got your ex attention and helped snare him is what has caused her pain.

so yes i think i can see the fitting "funny" side to it. but to be please is a bit... ott..

FasterStronger · 06/07/2013 15:03

I cannot imagine why your DH left you.

squeakytoy · 06/07/2013 15:03

I think some thoughts are best kept to yourself. I wouldnt wish illness on anyone.

Original poster
drfayray · 06/07/2013 15:03

Not husband anymore!

I don't like this feeling... I think I am being unreasonable ... Which answers my question.

OP posts:
LookMaw · 06/07/2013 15:03

I for one would judge a woman who thought she was doing nothing wrong by having an affair with a married man.

OP YANBU but MN is full of virtuous people who bear no ill feelings against anyone ever because they're just so damn perfect. Prepare for a flaming.

Floralnomad · 06/07/2013 15:03

YABVU ,if this woman was single when she met your husband its him that you should be angry with .

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 15:04

Yes, with nerve-damaged arms and hands then at least she won't be able to hold her gun to the heads of any more married men forcing them to sleep with her.

Oh, wait...

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 06/07/2013 15:05

LookMaw that is completely untrue, people on MN just tend to realise that it is your partner who is to blame for having an affair not the person they choose to do it with.

Also people don't tend to wish pain on others, this however does not make you virtuous.

ithaka · 06/07/2013 15:05

Maybe your ex will cheat on her with a KK who can still Kyak - that would be sweet indeed.

YANBU - you would have to be a saint not to gloat a bit.

Eyesunderarock · 06/07/2013 15:06

He should have stayed faithful.
He was the one who married you, made promises and broke them.
His fault. He's not a dog to be enticed by a free bit of burger, he made the choice.
You are pleased that she's now partially disabled? That's poisonous.

AuntieStella · 06/07/2013 15:07

He probably met lots of other women - only this one turned into an affair.

Nothing wrong with despising his co-conspirator. She isn't blameless.

And it's not a zero game - eminently possible to despise both of them.

Eyesunderarock · 06/07/2013 15:07

'She behaved really badly as well. She knew he was married. She could have not got involved.'

Grin Then he'd have been after the next opportunity.

gordyslovesheep · 06/07/2013 15:08

YABU to take pleasure in anyone elses pain - my husband also left me for another woman - they now live together and my children have a close relationship with her.

While in no pretending I think she is blameless she was NOT the one married to be and behaving like scum

The blame is his - she just happened to be there!

Dackyduddles · 06/07/2013 15:09

I would recommend a name change maybe but I sympathise although do not agree.

As u say op, yabu

AuntieStella · 06/07/2013 15:11

"Then he'd have been after the next opportunity."

Suggesting that she was only one of a series? And that he was faithful at no point during the 24 year marriage? That all women are interchangeable? Or simply that he didn't meet any for the first 23 years of marriage?