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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little bit pleased about what has happened to the OW?

224 replies

drfayray · 06/07/2013 14:58

My ex left me after 24 years for this woman who got him interested in kayaking. He spent a fortune on gear and cheated on me for nearly a year on this Kayaking Kunt (KK) as she was known to me. Grin

I am now divorced and trying to live as good a life as I can with my 2 DC.

I have just found out that the KK has extensive nerve damage to both her arms and hands... Caused by kayaking...

Karma is REAL!

OP posts:
AllegraLilac · 06/07/2013 20:24

monicalewinski Hilarious username in the context of this thread.

cunexttuesonline · 06/07/2013 20:27

YA probably BU but I would feel the same as you!!

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 06/07/2013 20:28

Bloody hell give the op a break!

The woman slept with her husband and contributed to the breakdown of her 24 year marriage, what do you expect her to feel?

And can you all, honestly, hand on heart say you wouldn't feel the same in her situation?

I'd like to think i'm a kind and decent person but i'm not sure i wouldn't feel exactly the same in the op's shoes.

YANBU

AllYoursBabooshka · 06/07/2013 20:30

Wishing ill health on someone and rejoicing in it is 1000 times worse than seeing a married man.

Says who?

Cravey · 06/07/2013 20:33

Says me love. She asked I answered. Simple. I have had it done to me. However I certainly would never wish ill health on anyone. Simple.

AllegraLilac · 06/07/2013 20:37

I agree with Cravey.

It is not anybody else's responsibility to keep your marriage together. Obviously OP's husband did not want to be with her any more. Be angry at him, sure, but not the other woman. She owed you no loyalty.

AllYoursBabooshka · 06/07/2013 20:38

Oh, ok.

It was the way you said "Take note" has me thinking that perhaps you had some sort of Buddhist saying to back up what followed.

Lots of people are talking nonsense about Karma like it's actually going to hurt the OP for thinking this way.

But it's just your opinion.

LookingForwardToMarch · 06/07/2013 20:40

Cravey that amazing! Whats your secret?!

I mean never ever having a bad thoughy about anybody in your whole life!

Or even thinking 'well karma means they deserved that!'

I salute you, its almost godlike!

I take it when your chap ran off with the ow you forgave her instantly, baked a cake and wished them well!

(sorry may have gone overboard, but all this sanctimonious saintly horse shit is starting to get on my wick)

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 06/07/2013 20:40

Officially, YABU to take pleasure in anyone else's misfortune. Even the OW.

Off the record though, I would totally allow myself a brief private "haha!" if something awful happened to the woman my ex cheated on me with. I don't buy all this crap about the OW being entirely blameless in these situations. Someone who KNOWS a person is married/in a committed relationship and still gets involved - come on. That's not good behaviour and not something I would condone any of my friends doing.

Branleuse · 06/07/2013 20:41

i would feel even more happy if theyd both got the clap

TortillasAndChocolate · 06/07/2013 20:43

YANBU. I would probably feel the same. As would most people who have been in your position. Love a bit of karma...

Tenacity · 06/07/2013 20:51

OP don't rejoice in other people's suffering. You don't know what tomorrow brings.

SingingSilver · 06/07/2013 20:54

Why is it that people are falling over themselves to defend women who run off with other people husbands? Yes, the husbands are more to blame, but the OWs are far from blameless.

It's the new 'Oh I know Jim put you in hospital and you nearly died, but that doesn't mean he can't be a great Dad! You can't stop him seeing them kids. Now let's prise them off you and get them in the car.'

Cravey · 06/07/2013 20:58

Oh my gosh I didn't for a second say the op was out of order for having feelings I do know however that I have never wished ill health on anyone or rejoiced in the fact that someone is ill. It's not about being godlike it's about being human and being compassionate. Come on. Op can replace her husband after time if she wants to. Other woman cannot replace her health. Read my post again. I told op she wnbu.

GettingVerySleepy · 06/07/2013 20:59

YANBU and I'm surprised anyone would say you were BU tbh. It's not like you physically harmed this woman yourself. I think it would take a saint not to be pleased, TBH.

Cravey · 06/07/2013 21:00

Ad for the benefit of lookingforwardtomarch. Who said I had never had a bad thought about anyone ? Oh yes that's right. You assumed didn't you ? I would never wish ill health on anyone. However I am not above a bit of gloating about other things believe me. Don't put words in my mouth there's a good girl.

Cravey · 06/07/2013 21:01

And all yoursbabooshka. Take note ?????? I don't recall writing those words. Yet another one who made it up.

LookingForwardToMarch · 06/07/2013 21:03

I know Cravey and I understand you have been through similar to the op.
But unless you are the op I don't believe you can 100% say you wouldn't even feel a twinge of satisfaction, even briefly.
To be honest I was angry at the mean posts to the op (e.g. That why your husband ran off, your disgusting for having these thoughts)
Just thought a touch of sympathy for the op wasn't too much to ask.
We are all human and react differently.

SingingSilver · 06/07/2013 21:04

If karma is real, then the minor crime of laughing at MsKayakKnickers and her nerve damage must mean OP is due a pesky bit of gravel in her shoe when she's next doing the school run.

When it happens make sure you text KayakKnickers and let her know that universal justice has been served.

Fakebook · 06/07/2013 21:06

I'm sure everyone would have a fleeting thought about being pleased about something like this, but starting a whole thread about it on the Internet? Obsessed and bitter much?

AllYoursBabooshka · 06/07/2013 21:08

Um... You said

Oh gosh you talk bout karma. Maybe you should take note. Wishing ill health on someone and rejoicing in it is 1000 times worse than seeing a married man. It really is. She wasnt married. He was. Doesn't matter if she knew he had a wife. This is a horrid post.

So not another one who made it up.

Cravey · 06/07/2013 21:12

I owe you an apology all yours babooshka. Sorry yes I did say that. I do however standby by what I said. I'm not above gloating. Believe me I'm not. But being happy about another persons health is not good. Op stated karma is real. If she really does believe that then she needs to be careful.

SigmundFraude · 06/07/2013 21:13

Totally NBU. If she had shagged my DH she would have had nerve damage on her face, from me punching it.

Don't listen to the posters who are getting all Hmm, I think they've over indulged on the Piriton.

LookingForwardToMarch · 06/07/2013 21:13

'Says me love' ' Theres a good girl' ?!

Patronising much? Instead of being so passive aggressive 'sugar' why don't you reconsider that whole karma deal your into?

Will you at least get a splinter for talking to grown women like they are children?

congresstart · 06/07/2013 21:13

YANBU...why should you feel bad for someone who helped fuck up your life, I hate all the saintly bullshit on MN. You are allowed to feel whatever you like, don't worry about the critisism.