To feel a little bit pleased about what has happened to the OW?

[drfayray]

My ex left me after 24 years for this woman who got him interested in kayaking. He spent a fortune on gear and cheated on me for nearly a year on this Kayaking Kunt (KK) as she was known to me.

I am now divorced and trying to live as good a life as I can with my 2 DC.

I have just found out that the KK has extensive nerve damage to both her arms and hands... Caused by kayaking...

Karma is REAL!

Cravey, what's with all the patronising "love" and "there's a good girl"?

Take a deep breath.

Now, you've just lambasted the OP for her very human feelings and gone on to then say you're not above gloating about other things. What things? And would the things you're not above gloating about lead people to believe you weren't very compassionate?

We are all human and we are all flawed.

Your first post, here, was fair enough and it is your opinion but you lost the moral argument the second you retorted to other posters questioning of your views in a spiteful and churlish manner before going on to contradict yourself re; gloating.

Horses for courses.

Looking forward to march. Let me tell you something. The woman my first husband left me for died. A horrid painful death. Not once did I gloat. Not at all. It's about empathy. And in the op case it's slightly ironic that she writes about karma whilst gloating about a persons ill health.

Sigmund

Feeglefion there is no moral argument here. Not at all. I think you will find that I was being patronising to someone who had told me that I was wrong fr having an opinion. We are indeed all human asi said op was not bu in having these thoughts however as I said slightly ironic to post about karma then gloat. Can I also just add patronising appears to be something you are very good at. Take a deep breath ???? My breathing is fine thanks.

Maybe it's more okay to judge if you don't just know of the situation via a forum.

We're all human and flawed yes re being judgemental but we should realise our flaws and try to work on them.

It's not nice to be patronised is it Cravey?

You do seem very het up about people not agreeing with you.

OP, I would totally feel the same way. Whether I thought it made me a bad person or not. Sometimes someone hurts you so much, you can't help but rejoice when the universe gives payback.

I find the argument that the OW has no responsibility as she was not the married one pretty disgusting to be honest. Having an affair with somebody who is married is an awful thing to do and she is, at least in part, responsible for the break up of a family.

No feeglefion. I totally respect others opinions. Totally. On the same hand I would like mine to be afforded the same respect. It's simple really. I also don't mind if it makes you feel better to patronise me. Whatever makes you feel good doll.

When my H left for a married OW I wished the pair of them would just fuck off and die. I still actually, genuinely, do. specially wished the H would die before the settlement was completed so the mortgage would get paid off and I'd get a nice free house They didn't, unfortunately.

Bitter? Yup. Do I care? Nope. I'm with you OP.

They still might Mardy. Keep the faith

I would feel the same. I too would feel happy that someone who contributed in ruining my marriage was suffering. I'd also be super happy if it happened to him too.

I actually asked you some questions, Cravey.

You've ignored those and continue to rant.

You very obviously don't respect any opinion other than your own.

The OP has no compassion for a woman who was just as much to blame for her suffering when her ex pursued an extramarital affair. She may not have had the responsibility for the OP that the ex did, but she was responsible. Men couldn't have affairs with women who are aware of their circumstances if the women refused to get involved in the destruction of his marriage.

Where was the OW's compassion or empathy? She displayed none to the OP.

The OP owes this woman nothing and has naturally felt a little redemption on hearing this woman is now feeling the thin edge of the wedge.

She caused no injury, she behaved in a very human manner.

I agree, that rejoicing in anyones ill health is in poor taste but in this case, it's understandable even if some people would be more inclined to gloat over some other misfortune that might have befallen the couple.

And, why, thank you. You're not the first person to tell me I'm a doll

I get totally why the OP is hurt, I understand why she is wanting something to happen to the OW and probably her ExH. I would want my H's cock to fall off TBH, but maybe I am not getting the bit she is pleased that she has nerve damage because I have it, and it is not just losing feeling, it hurts and is debilitating and disabling, and unless you have it you really don't understand just how horrible it is.

I am not being horrible when I say this, but OP, your H was a bastard to fuck around when he was married to you, when you had supported him throughout your marriage (I peeped at your old threads)etc, but now she has him and nerve damage. Who is to say he won't do to her what he did to you? I reckon right now you don't need karma, you've got the better deal.

I never said it wasn't a himan manner. I stated I didn't think she was bu.i must have missed your questions. If you feel you need to be patronising go ahead. No issue here. I stand by everything I said. It's not wrong for her to be sad, angry, bitter or whatever. Gloating at ill health is not cool. She posted about karma. Being a believer in such things she shoud be careful it doesn't bite her back. Other woman wasnt the married one op ex was. It's crap what he did. Totally. Been there done that. Yes it hurts. I totally respect anyone's opinion. Totally. Op can be as judgemental as she wants. However maybe not gloat about ill health in another person and expect us all t agree with her. Are you respectful of my opinion ? It's not coming across as so. Irony much ???

YANBU to feel slight tinge of smugness - you are only human after all.
However YABU if you let it continue. Watching their life and taking pleasure in their problems will make you bitter.
Don't be like my friend who has let that bitterness rule their life now for nearly twenty years.

No, I don't actually respect your opinion. I respect your right to an opinion but you lost my respect with your childish and churlish ranting.

I am far from patronising you, Cravey. I have been nothing but well mannered.

Can you say the same?

When it comes to infidelity, I feel that if only adults are in the equation, however distasteful, it's a private matter. Perhaps the original couple weren't meant to be.

But when a woman (or man) knowingly helps to break up a child's family, then they are nothing but scum. Because they are inflicting emotional damage on the children, which can last a lifetime in different forms.

Yes actually I can.i would suggest you re read your posts, you were indeed patronsisng and in fact you recognised this. As for childish your statement asking me how I liked it was hardly adult. Rude ? Not at all. Merely saying what I feel. As per usual if someone doesn't bow down to the greater opinion then all hell breaks loose. I have no issue with you having no respect for me. None at all. In fact the same applies from me towards you. Read my op again. Op in my opinion is not wrong in feeling the way she does. Each to their own. She should maybe have thought twice about asking everyone to back her though. It's gloating about someone's health. I should imagine the condition this other woman has must be horrific. Cani also point out that calling you a doll came across as patronising. It wasnt meant to be its a bloody awful habit I have got into after spending time with someone who calls everyone doll. So in fact it is a term of endearment. Which I should not have used.

Disability isn't funny, EVER

Here here solesource

I dont think ybu op. Payback.

OP. A very human emotion but unpopular on MN. I get the whole statement about its just your husband who has betrayed you but...I'd never ever do this. Part of my moral, ethical view. She didn't obviously care about wrecking your family and the impact on the DC...so I wouldn't waste my time worrying about her either

Ok, I required none of your explanation.

Can I also just point out, it's not worth getting yourself upset over.

My conversation with you, on this particular subject is now ended. I suggest we put it behind us and who knows? We may agree on the next thread in which we meet.

It's hard to resist a bit of schadenfreude when someone we feel ill will towards suffers misfortune. I'm sure I have at times.

But it's hard for others to share that with you as to us she's just a person we don't know who has suffered misfortune. And for all we know you were vile to your husband for 24 years.