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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little bit pleased about what has happened to the OW?

224 replies

drfayray · 06/07/2013 14:58

My ex left me after 24 years for this woman who got him interested in kayaking. He spent a fortune on gear and cheated on me for nearly a year on this Kayaking Kunt (KK) as she was known to me. Grin

I am now divorced and trying to live as good a life as I can with my 2 DC.

I have just found out that the KK has extensive nerve damage to both her arms and hands... Caused by kayaking...

Karma is REAL!

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 06/07/2013 17:09

I would feel the same too! It does take two to have an affair and while I know the only one to have responsibility to the marriage is the one in it, if there were not any women who thought it ok to have an affair with a married man, they would not find it do easy to cheat.

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 06/07/2013 17:10

What JerseySpud said.

ukatlast · 06/07/2013 17:23

YANBU. The people who say it is not the single OW's fault only your ex-husband's are probably the type of women who would cheat on another woman's husband. People I choose as friends most definitely would not. It is morally wrong to have an affair with someone you know to be married...end of.

It's a bit like not buying things that have 'dropped off the back of a lorry' in a pub...if no one bought them, there would be no point in burglars stealing them.

LongGoneBeforeDaylight · 06/07/2013 17:34

ukatlast trying to not be judgmental does not mean I am the type of woman to have an affair HmmConfused

AnyFucker · 06/07/2013 17:38

Why try not to be judgmental ? There isn't enough judgement about the shitty things that people do to each other in the name of "love"

AnyFucker · 06/07/2013 17:39

IMO

Eyesunderarock · 06/07/2013 17:43

'The people who say it is not the single OW's fault only your ex-husband's are probably the type of women who would cheat on another woman's husband.'

Grin I'm someone who sees a husband as a partner who is responsible for his actions, not a mindless possession that can be stolen by some conniving bitch out to snare herself a man.
Poor innocent little lamb,

When my mum tried to restrict my social life, my grandmother said 'You have to trust her. If they want to go wrong, they'll go wrong in their lunch hour'

TNETENNBA · 06/07/2013 17:51

YABU (as you have graciously admitted) Smile

I think being glad someone has nerve damage is a bit mean.

You really should direct your anger at your prat of an Ex.

TartinaTiara · 06/07/2013 18:39

Meh. She presumably chose to share her canoe with him, she's an adult and chose to have an affair with a married man. Fair enough, he was the one who made promises to you, but I don't get the whole lets not judge the OW thing like they're all just itty bitty likkle wimmin who just can't help themselves if a married man waves his cock in their direction.

YANBU to not be sorry that someone who did her damnedest to wreck your life, and your DCs life, now has something to suffer about. Though maybe let it flow over you, poor cow's got enough to deal with being lumbered with your prize of an ex.

FeegleFion · 06/07/2013 18:53

I'm afraid I'm all too human and have many faults, that's why I can imagine feeling exactly the same as you OP.

It's not nice to take pleasure from other people's suffering but the OW enjoyed her new love affair and her new lover at the expense of the OP's suffering.

The exH deserves some Karmic comeuppance, for sure, but the OW was a willing participant in blowing the OP's world apart.

OP YANBU, in fact, you are being very human.

monicalewinski · 06/07/2013 18:57

YANBU (that is all!)

needaholidaynow · 06/07/2013 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SingingSilver · 06/07/2013 19:15

YANBU OP. Enjoy your moment Wine

Dozer · 06/07/2013 19:17

Hiya drfay!

Wine
Branleuse · 06/07/2013 19:21

id probably be a bit pleased, in all honesty, but then I do hold grudges

schadenfreude ftw!

MummyMastodon · 06/07/2013 19:32

Yours is one of many, many marriages I've known break down under similar circumstances.

It's never good news when married men take up any of these 'outdoor pursuits' things on their own - canoeing, climbing, scuba.

The clubs seem to attract young, single women and the frequent trips away foster an atmosphere which doesn't exactly, shall we say, respect the sanctity of marriage. I've seen it happen over and over again, to me and others, and I would be very, very unhappy if my current DH was interested in anything like that.

Oh, and yabu (if you want to be an angelic saint and go to heaven. Otherwise, yabu)

MummyMastodon · 06/07/2013 19:33

yanbu

DeVerdad · 06/07/2013 19:37

Yabu. I have sympathy for your situation but I feel distaste when people cheer about the misfortunes/illness or even death of someone who has caused pain i.e. Thatcher. It's distasteful and it makes you look like the lesser person imvo.

AllegraLilac · 06/07/2013 20:10

You know OP, even with the nerve damage... he probably still loves her. =

landofsoapandglory · 06/07/2013 20:19

ukatlast I won't cheat with another woman's husband because that would mean cheating on mine, OK!

monicalewinski · 06/07/2013 20:19

Just wow. What a nasty post.

monicalewinski · 06/07/2013 20:20

(my post was about Allegra's, not landof)

Cravey · 06/07/2013 20:21

Oh gosh you talk bout karma. Maybe you should take note. Wishing ill health on someone and rejoicing in it is 1000 times worse than seeing a married man. It really is. She wasnt married. He was. Doesn't matter if she knew he had a wife. This is a horrid post.

megsmouse · 06/07/2013 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LookingForwardToMarch · 06/07/2013 20:24

You know what allegral ?

I can't see any other reason for you post other than to hurt the op, rub a bit of salt on a wound.

Does being such a uncompassionate , non-helpful person make you feel better about yourself?

Same goes to anyone that had been nasty on this thread. The double standards of accussing the op of being mean and spiteful whilst doing the same!

Op is a human being who has been hurt, we all have thoughts that aren't the best...

Seriously are you all f**king saints?!