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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby/naming ceremony" *PART 2!"

247 replies

doubleshotespresso · 27/06/2013 19:41

Have been advised by the expert Mners here this needs a new thread....

So here it is.

Have printed off todays' email from the sister from hell for friends DH who is dropping in later to read, probably drink and discuss.....

Thanks so much for all your replies.... You ladies are helping me reain sane when I really really really want to lose the plot spectacularly!

Am about to sort dinner and stuff so wll update further later when friends DH has been and I know what to do if anything....

DF just read the email and is "do recycling and smash stuff" to "absorb before he comes over really South London.... Sad. He is furious at the sister even referring to our recent loss amongst other comments in the message and wants a level head before our friend arrives...

All will be fine..... Will update later.

OP posts:
BuntyCollocks · 27/06/2013 22:58

Well done, double, for being so bloody fantastic, and many congratulations!

The sister sounds like an absolute fucking nutter. I await updates with bated breath. I also wish you every happiness - you definitely deserve it.

AndHarry · 27/06/2013 23:00

Just read the email. Unbelievable. Does this woman come from a different planet? She wants an apology?! Jaw on the floor.

I might actually be willing to bet a chocolate coin or two that she organises a rival event with her meedja mates and makes a massive scene when the OP's friends choose the nice one :o

Thanks for you OP. You do need some hugs and time for yourself too.

ConfusedPixie · 27/06/2013 23:00

So glad to see updates on this!

Congratulations OP, both on your successful encounter with DDP and your engagement!

Friend's sister is horrid. Absolutely horrid. What a nasty thing to write. Though I actually expect that she knew exactly what she was doing by bringing it up!

WafflyVersatile · 27/06/2013 23:03

Just read your other thread for the first time. Flabbergasted here at the sister's email.

I suspect in the sister's head you two are being so unreasonable because of hormones and she is trying her bestest to be understanding of that whilst still standing her ground in wanting an apology and control of the event so it's suitably grabby and vain ambitious.

WafflyVersatile · 27/06/2013 23:04

Oh and many, many congratulations on your engagement! Smile

ZacharyQuack · 27/06/2013 23:05

I would assume that First Aunt (FA?) means she gets First Choice of the gift list presents, and First Cut of the commission.

Congratulations on your engagement and I'm sorry that FA dragged you into her atrociousness.

Vellimetry · 27/06/2013 23:08

Is anyone else fascinated by the family history? I'd love to know how these two sisters ended up with such a weird relationship.
I mean, I know the friend has been having a hard time, but personally if it were me, hard times make me much more aware of people trying to take over or direct me - no way would I have just let these things happen. I'm not making a judgement, it just has an odd ring to it. Is this an older, more dominant sister?

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 27/06/2013 23:11

Zachary that is so funny.... Maybe we should call her Sweet FA now huh? Smile

Just got a text "leaving pub now...... Both walking back -have we got any cheese?"

This translates to "drank more than I planned to..... Can you please make a pile of cheese toasties?"

When I'm done grating cheese, I will update you all!

OP posts:
WhiteBirdBlueSky · 27/06/2013 23:14

Well she's unhinged. I think you need to tell your friend she's sent it, but play down your trauma. You don't want to inflame the situation. But don't respond.

It's your friend's job to tell her sister she doesn't want her to organise the christening. I appreciate she might not feel up to a confrontation though?

BlackeyedSusan · 27/06/2013 23:15

agggghhhhhh finally caught up on the details and I want to go to bed... but .....

larlemucker · 27/06/2013 23:17

Just caught up sped read other thread!

you're a truly amazing friend, so sorry to hear of your loss but congrats on the engagement.

I think sister needs to be told to bog off and not bother coming

SolidGoldBrass · 27/06/2013 23:24

The sister must have been a problem for years. I bet they were so glad she fucked off to Oz. I'm another one who thinks that passing it on to friend's H and family is the best thing to do, though someone upthread had a nice suggestion along the lines of 'Thanks but don't put yourself out any further, everything's sorted.'

CookieLady · 27/06/2013 23:25

I'm rarely lost for words but your friend's sister sounds bat shit crazy.

happyyonisleepyyoni · 27/06/2013 23:29

Did the family buy the sister a ONE WAY ticket to Oz previously, by any chance....?

NorksAreMessy · 27/06/2013 23:29

Shamelessly grating cheese :)

humdumaggapang · 27/06/2013 23:39

A short email like solid gold brass suggested would do the trick. She obviously wants a passionate reaction. Giving her a flippant one would be just the thing I reckon and would love to be a fly on the wall when she read it and steam came out of her ears

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 27/06/2013 23:39

They just got back..... DF looks relieved...... Friends DH looks ashen faced and quite boozy....

Cheese toasties under the grill- I guess I will hear the plan as they chomp away......

Bear with me! Sorry ......

OP posts:
AhamSaidJackLambe · 27/06/2013 23:41

Mmmmmm I'd love a cheese toastie.....

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 27/06/2013 23:44

Sorry, I'd missed you that you were delling her DH. Good move.

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 27/06/2013 23:55

This is all very sad nut I think for the best probably.

Friends DH is very steely and has "been taken beyond his patience levels".

So- he will be emailing the sister and telling her the following.

  • She will not be a "Special adult" for the baby.
-he would prefer if she did not attend. -That she ceases contact with his him and his wife and us. -he will outline just how she has "deeply offended everybody involved".
  • he does not care a jot if she is offended at all, he is beyond offended and wants very different things for the baby than she seems to.

Apparently he phoned our friends mother from the pub and explained all of the email and his i tentions. Mother agrees that the sister has behaved appallingly and that the naming ceremony wold be hindered if she attends.

He will talk to our friend tomorrow before sending email and let her know all the above as he says they had already discussed asking her to step down. This is the last straw for him...

I feel sick...... This is awful.Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 27/06/2013 23:58

The email address the sister contacted me on today was set up just for the purposes of organising the ceremony and taking control away from the DDP, so once the event is done she will have no method of contacting me or DF again anyway which is a relief.

Sorry this took so long to update-today has been a long day!

OP posts:
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 28/06/2013 00:00

He just said he will close the email with a request for an apology from her for the offence, stress and worry she has caused! Never mind sending her own sister into meltdown....

OP posts:
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 28/06/2013 00:01

FGS! Now DSS1 wants a toastie!

OP posts:
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 28/06/2013 00:02

Which means in approximately 5 minutes so will DSS2!

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 28/06/2013 00:02

such a shame that it has come to this. she has brought it on herself though.