To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby/naming ceremony" *PART 2!"

[doubleshotespresso]

Have been advised by the expert Mners here this needs a new thread....

So here it is.

Have printed off todays' email from the sister from hell for friends DH who is dropping in later to read, probably drink and discuss.....

Thanks so much for all your replies.... You ladies are helping me reain sane when I really really really want to lose the plot spectacularly!

Am about to sort dinner and stuff so wll update further later when friends DH has been and I know what to do if anything....

DF just read the email and is "do recycling and smash stuff" to "absorb before he comes over really South London.... . He is furious at the sister even referring to our recent loss amongst other comments in the message and wants a level head before our friend arrives...

All will be fine..... Will update later.

[glorysupporter]

Hmmm, after spending 2 days reading both threads, I have to agree with SueDoku, the ending was a bit of a disappointment!

[SueDoku]

What a disappointment - I thought we might be getting some news of the wedding, but no - IT'S A ZOMBIE THREAD.... [ANGRY]

[UterusUterusGhali]

Marking place for an update.

I haven't been so enthralled by a thread for ages. I've even shed tears.

[DollyClothespeg]

Blimey. Just read both threads, and it's took the best part of two hours (remind me to get a life and stop sitting at the laptop on an evening, lol!)
If true, the sis is definitely a piece of work with the skin of a rhinoceros!

[InLoveWithDavidTennant]

blimey! what a saga! have just caught up on both threads

this whole party planner business sounds barmey reminds self never to hire one

[pigletmania]

Op how did te ceremony go. Any updates!

[hevak]

OP, if you do start a blog, please let us know before you get the thread(s) deleted - assuming you choose to do that? I have been following your trials and tribulations with Fronk and SweetFA and I would love to hear how the revised naming ceremony goes.

I think you have been a wonderful friend :) and I hope you have a fabulous wedding - definitely invite your DSC's grandparents!

[GreenEggsAndNichts]

Checking in after being on the old thread. :)

[ButThereAgain]

Not saying I don't think this story is true, but if (given her concern for the main character's welfare) the OP doesn't choose to get it deleted, that might be regarded as evidence that the story was economical with the actualité (or, rather, spendthrift with the inactualité).

[EvieanneVolvic]

ButThereAgain

[ButThereAgain]

And no updates!

[ButThereAgain]

I was a bit amazed by both your threads -- that someone so kind and supportive of her friend should think so little of disclosing so much personal information that was not hers to share. The fact that this seems to have been done so lightly might be the reason that some have doubted the truth of the story.

It isn't the possibility of the friend finding out that should worry you -- it is the wrongfulness of violating her privacy in the first place, whether she learns of the wrong or not. If its a true story, delete for goodness sake!

[TakingTheStairs]

Good idea Rabbits

What do you think Double?

[onedev]

Good idea Rabbits

[RabbitsarenotHares]

As a suggestion, and purely as I'm nosy and would love to find out how this pans out, could you not give us an update on Off the Beaten Track?

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Double you write incredibly well and with so much humour, self-awareness and empathy that I would love to continue reading anything you cared to write! For that quite selfish reason I would love for you to start a proper blog or at the very least keep posting on MN, maybe on a new thread, about your wedding plans, your life, your DF, your lovely friend and so on.

However, I agree with other posters to think carefully about deleting these particular threads. I share a lot on MN and if anyone cared to do an Advanced Search on me I would be pretty identifiable. That doesn't really bother me but for you it might cause ructions with your lovely friend and / or Sweet Fanny Adams although really we don't care about her, only about the fallout for you

I wish these were real -->

[FryOneFatManic]

double If you get these threads deleted (and I agree it may be a good idea), I would also love to read a wedding thread. Especially if you can work in a reference to how the naming ceremony unfolds. For those of us who have read these threads, any update needn't be detailed, but I know I am hoping your friend gets the ceremony she wants and deserves and would love to know that she did.

You have been a wonderful support to your friend and it's clear that those in your life reciprocate your love and support.

[KateSMumsnet]

Just popping in with a clarification

The only places in MN where threads are automatically deleted is in Chat (90 days after the OP) and Off the Beaten Track (30 days after the OP).

As you were!

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

By the way doubleshot, if you've never browsed Classics before then I highly recommend it, particularly this thread about a cutted up pear.

[TheDoctrineOfAllan]

By the way, everyone on MN who googles and gets MN results first - I think that's cos google knows you are a visitor here and so will find the results from here relevant.

[Scrounger]

Another one suggesting you delete it, threads can get out of hand. This has been a lovely one and I have enjoyed reading it.

Under another name I started an AIBU which people then linked onto other sites, it grew and I asked for it to be deleted as there was a risk it could impact on my DH job (these sites were industry related). Whilst I had changed some details, anyone involved would have been able to identify it and I didn't want any comeback from something that I had started in all innocence. I felt a real sense of relief when it was deleted.

[Flappingandflying]

I've just spent an age reading through this. Congratulations, well done and much admiration to you. You are a lady of substance and backbone and your family clearly recognise that.

Lovely all this is, though, I would delete. It is highly likely that your friend might mumsnet in the future. As someone said, internet searching diabetes would bring all this up and when the dust has settled, the calm has desended, she might feel agrieved that so much was aired. We have all lived vicariously through your situation and your highs and lows have added to our days but it would be selfish to demand that we can keep looking at this. After all, that is what a memory is for and part of the joy of these types of forums is the fleeting nature of their markers in time.

Perhaps give us another thread in September, telling us about the day and a different thread about wedding plans - methinks your wedding will be lovely with no bridezillas and perhaps a change in career for you into sympathetic event mangement!

[TheDoctrineOfAllan]

Thunbwitch, MNHQ did check with the OP on the thread ic she was ok about the move to classics from chat, but they may not have appreciated that she missed the automatic deletion distinction.

[MumnGran]

double , I have been 'umming' and ah'ing' about your deletion dilemma, because the thread truly does deserve to be a classic - not least because it shows MN at its best. Equally, there is little doubt of outing if anyone close to the picture should stumble across it.

Putting Part 2 into AIBU was always a risk to the overall upbeat nature of things, because it invites critical input, but that may well have become a positive for you - thread addicts were always going to want to hear every detail, and I think we all lost focus on the risk of outing, once the initial query about privacy was addressed. There has been a welter of further identifiable info since that first discussion!

Perhaps the question to ask yourself is whether it is worth even a small potential risk to the friendship, over an online exchange which will be forever enshrined for all to see?. All of us who have stayed with you through the story could probably answer that one for you

The blog is a wonderful solution, and need not mean losing everything.....we can all still carry on chipping in our two penn'orth!!
You can print off the entire exchange, to keep as a personal memento, and then precis a non-identifiable 'background' as the start of your wedding planning blog, just giving a taste of how the engagement occurred (ven Fronk could slide in there, if you tweak with care) Reporting on a "wonderful christening you attended while in the midst of your wedding planning", would not be at all amiss so we can all still hear how things turned out I am sure that you could even include some comments made on the original thread if they were particularly helpful - a quick pm to anyone you want to quote would result in happy permission I am sure.

I shall be sad to see this come to a close, but doing the right thing for your friend, and friendship, matters more ....and we know that has always been your motivator.