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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think our neighbour shouldn't engage my 5 year old DD in conversation...

193 replies

Patiencedeficit · 25/05/2013 16:20

... when she is playing alone in our garden? He is an adult with his own children who live with his wife. He comes over to talk to DD whenever she is playing on the trampoline. It makes me feel very awkward. I have to watch like a hawk because I am so uncomfortable but I don't know what to do about it. Not sure if I'm over-reacting. What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Patiencedeficit · 25/05/2013 16:20

I've just looked up and now he is on the trampoline with her.

OP posts:
Sparklymommy · 25/05/2013 16:22

That's a bit weird! It may be that he is just being friendly but I have to say I would find that strange.

HollyBerryBush · 25/05/2013 16:22

Why don't you like other adults talking to your child?

ZZZenagain · 25/05/2013 16:22

go out and ask, oh sorry were you looking for me? I didn't hear the door bell

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 16:22

Go out there!

cozietoesie · 25/05/2013 16:23

Does he have a child of that age? I was wondering if it's possible that he misses them when they're not around.

MagicHouse · 25/05/2013 16:23

Do you mean he's in your garden??

VinegarDrinker · 25/05/2013 16:23

Talking to her - absolutely fine

Climbing over their fence and getting on your trampoline - bit odd

piprabbit · 25/05/2013 16:23

Our NDN's DD used to come round and help with the gardening, we didn't invite her but would make her welcome so long as her parents knew she was with us. This was in the days before we had DCs and it would have made me sad if our NDNs had been worried, but hadn't tried to talk to us and get to know us before deciding we were a threat.
But I would have him off the trampoline like a shot - rules here are one person at a time (minimises the risks of horrific breakages).

antshouse · 25/05/2013 16:24

Is he letting himself into your garden. That is odd behaviour.

greenfolder · 25/05/2013 16:24

huh? my neighbours speak to my 5 year old dd all the time. thats because they are nice and she is sociable.

pictish · 25/05/2013 16:24

He's on the trampoline in YOUR garden??

Get out there and chase him off. A wee blether is one thing, but now he's in your garden!!!

squoosh · 25/05/2013 16:25

Chatting is fine but I think it's odd that he's come into the garden and is on the trampoline with her.

Sirzy · 25/05/2013 16:25

I would ask him to leave the garden and point out how dangerous having 2 people on a trampoline at once is.

The talking wouldn't bother me but coming into the garden would

thebody · 25/05/2013 16:26

No not fine, go out there and tell him to get off.

He may be missing his kids or this might be the reason she left him.

Either way its not on.

VinegarDrinker · 25/05/2013 16:27

"this might be the reason she left him"

What, playing with children?

Tailtwister · 25/05/2013 16:27

I don't think talking to her is strange, but coming into your garden and getting on your trampoline is a bit odd. I don't think I would feel comfortable with that.

GoblinGranny · 25/05/2013 16:28

Please clarify what's actually happening. Is he in your garden uninvited and on the trampoline? Is the trampoline in a communal garden?
Either way, for safety reasons an adult shouldn't be on the trampoline at the same time as a child

plummyjam · 25/05/2013 16:29

Talking to DD acceptable - although I'd be a bit suspicious of a bloke who chats to a 5 year old girl when he thinks mum is not looking.

Getting on your trampoline in your back garden with her - definitely not acceptable. Weird.

MagicHouse · 25/05/2013 16:29

I think listen to your instincts - you're not happy with it/ you feel uncomfortable with it. A grown man/ woman you don't know well getting on your trampoline with your DD without asking you is odd.

Original poster
Patiencedeficit · 25/05/2013 16:30

Bit of a mixed reaction coming back. To clarify I don't know him more than to say hello and he is letting himself into our garden. DD is very sociable and I am more than happy for her to talk to people but this feels odd and I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe I am over-reacting but I just called her into the house which is unfair on her.
Thanks for all your feedback.

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 25/05/2013 16:30

go out there and ask him to leave your garden ffs! Listen to your instincts and ACT ON THEM!"

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 25/05/2013 16:31

NO. DO NOT call DD in...tell him to leave! Very, very weird. Adults know not to do this.

HotCrossPun · 25/05/2013 16:32

Chatting to her - totally fine and normal.

Jumping your fence and bouncing on a childs trampoline...not so much Grin

MagicHouse · 25/05/2013 16:32

I would speak to him about it and ask (tell) him not to come into your garden. Like you say - why should she have to stop playing out there? You're right - it's odd behaviour.