to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

where is your yoni

Arf!

Good one!

He can't give my laptop a tap, Becky, don't you remember its his study night so he's up in the attic and I daren't disturb him!

Tomorrow morning on Jezzer Vile: Brian (in clean shorts), Brian's wife and her iffy laptop and Becky and her wondrously cured Yoni.

Sparkling will quite simply combust in her speed to post.

There's too much neoplitan ice cream around.

Oh, of course. Have you had the attic sound proofed yet?

Sound proofed!! Bloody hell what is going on i hull

As a frequenter of S & B I am delighted to hear that our Yonis are superior to the rest of MN. They are ver' stylish and beautiful.

Has he got company in the attic then?

Oh fuck I've just realised that if it was on Jeremy Kyle there would be before and after pictures of Beckys Yoni

The 'stressed' and the 'cured' version.

Fuck no.

if anybody touched my yoni during labour i would lamp them and Brian isn't a very mystical name just saying

Ok hands up who has booked a Yoni massage , I promise I won't tell I just need to know for research purposes

*in hull

Yoni joking, surely!

I bet Brian had a 'When I grow up I want to be a gynaecologist' t-shirt when he was at yoni uni.

This is brilliant. Quite made my day!

Original thread :

Prepare to have your feminine waters flowing copiously!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1729276-Yoni-Vaginal-Massage?pg=1

Becky, how long does Brian spend ministering his marvellousness to your yoni?

Yoni (vaginal massage) thread.

Brian "hard" at work

Well, all yonis are different, and I wouldn't want to set up expectations for when you go. But if you need a place for an overnight stay, the travelodge in leeds is really nice.