to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

[BriansWife]

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

[YoniLovesChachi]

Yeah, he was massaging her fanny before. He just learnt its tantric name and ran with it. It gave him the confidence to perform his fanny massage on the nation. So brave...

[AnAirOfHope]

Op can u not see how this looks?

[DumSpiroSpero]

OMG! My ex is a Brian...am slightly worried now !!!

[AwkwardSquad]

I don't know why everyone's taking the piss like this. Come on ladies!* After all, yoni live once.



*insert comma according to personal preference

[katydid02]

Leave the bastard.....

[YoniOldClothCatPuss]

PMFSL!
ROFLMFWF! Rolling on floor letting my feminine waters flow

[WallyBantersYoniBox]

I think the other posters have been very supportive by developing a marketing campaign for Brian.

And with every small business start up it's wrap around customer service that counts. So if you want to make a real success of this Brianswife why don't you offer a post Yoni rub hospitality catering service?

Then you could add the following to your advertising flyer (I'm assuming Brian is going to go door to door and canvas business in Hull) :

Brians Luxury Yoni Treatments..
We give you more - now offering a finger buffet for one in the downstairs restaurant!

[KarmaBitch]

Is this a joke? Oh please someone point me in the direction of the original thread.

I don't think my DP would appreciate anyone else going anywhere near my yoni...

[crazydrunkevilyoni]

[SuzySheepSmellsNice]

Perhaps he could set up a product test with HQ?

[Bambalam]

Oh, Brianswife it's not true that virtually the whole of MN were mocking your husband. Virtually means almost but not all. It was all.

[Tee2072]

Perhaps brainstorm and beckybriansclient should have coordinated...

[HeavenlyYoni]

My vibrator gave out a strange sound today, sounded like yoni yoni yoni but in a mechanical way

[nkf]

Finger buffet. Genius.

[BriansWife]

Oh, Becky, so pleased to see you here to back me up! Having difficulty keeping up with the thread and the laptop keeps freezing!

[KenDoddsDadsDog]

I do not come onto MN for ONE WHOLE DAY and I miss this !!

[landofsoapandyoni]

Are you volunteering, Suzy?

[katydid02]

at Fragglewump
funniest thread on MN for a long time.

I wonder what the DM would make of this one?

[squoosh]

Does Brian get a bit of a Boney when performing a Yoni? What then is the etiquette for honouring his mighty male love spear? Also are refreshments provided for the husband who comes to watch? Tea and some garibaldi perhaps.

[headlesslambrini]

Becky - regular sessions, oh my lord whatever next PML

[Feelingood]

So where do I sign up?

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

OMG mumsnet, you don't half deliver!!!!

[LaurieFairyCake]

Dear Brian's wife,

Your husband is fucking Becky.

How about you post this in 'Relationships' for some advice on how to leave the one and Yoni.

Love LFC

[katydid02]

OP, would your husband Brian be prepared to offer his services to KenDoddsDadsDog

With apologies to KenDoddsDadsDog - I couldn't resist asking the OP the question purely in the interests of taking the piss research.

[beckybriansclient]

Brian's good with keyboards, love- can he give it a bit of a tap, or are his hands full at the moment?