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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to be upset that virtually the whole of MN are mocking my husband?

554 replies

BriansWife · 11/04/2013 20:34

Last night my husband, Brian, made the very brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN. We have both been terribly upset at the response he received, especially the references to him being perverted. I would like to explain that my husband is a professional, and it is only now after studying the Tantra for 17 years, he feels qualified to offer this service. Many could never reach this level of expertise.
I indeed have been lucky to receive many yoni massages from Brian and cannot rate them highly enough. When my friend, Becky, had a traumatic birth I suggested Brian give her a yoni massage. Not only did she find it a very spiritual and pleasurable experience, she has been able to stop dwelling on the birth and is no longer feeling any pain in her yoni. Becky's happy ending has given Brian the confidence to offer his services further afield.
Please be assured that Brian is a very caring man whose only concern is the health and happiness of yoni's, NOT his own pleasure. He posted on MN as he is aware many women experience trauma to their yoni's during childbirth.

OP posts:
Flojobunny · 11/04/2013 20:43

Brilliant, Brian has made a difficult time a tiny bit better.
Think nurses on ward are wondering what I keep laughing at!

MadCap · 11/04/2013 20:43

Lueiji, it was first earlier today Grin

YoniLovesChachi · 11/04/2013 20:44

I didn't know Brian dealt with injured yonis. Your house must be like St Tiggywinkles, but with beavers women instead of hedgehogs. He's a pillar of the community, your Bri.

almapudden · 11/04/2013 20:44

Does he do discounts if we make a group booking?

HeyYoniYoni · 11/04/2013 20:44

I think it only right and proper that MN offer to do a product test

BloominMarvellous · 11/04/2013 20:44

I have to name change now!! I want to remember this forever!!!!

GinandYonic · 11/04/2013 20:44

It's not just a wank it's a 17 years in the making Professional wank Grin

Altinkum · 11/04/2013 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadCap · 11/04/2013 20:45

It's an M&S wank

BriansWife · 11/04/2013 20:46

Unfortunately, Becky isn't on MN or she would have been able to back me up.

PhyllisDoris, it would be selfish of me to mind, akin to a vicar's wife being upset he was putting his insights into a sermon instead of sharing them with her alone.

OP posts:
MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 11/04/2013 20:47

ignores op

Flossiechops · 11/04/2013 20:47

Just read the op in classics!!! Fab!! GrinGrinGrinGrin

MyBloominMarvellousYoni · 11/04/2013 20:47

I so read semen not sermon!!!!!!

crazydrunkevilyoni · 11/04/2013 20:48

M&S Wank Grin

dopeysheep · 11/04/2013 20:48

I can't help but rename every famous Tony as Yoni.
Yoni Blair.
Yoni Soprano.

nkf · 11/04/2013 20:48

We need Becky.

littlestressy · 11/04/2013 20:48

My yoni is very selective, I might have to decline

BattlingYonis · 11/04/2013 20:48

Wooo we all love a good name change :D Its been a while!

MrsCosmopilite · 11/04/2013 20:49

Two things;

  1. 'brave decision to offer yoni massage via MN'

Brave as in how?

and

  1. Brian/Brian's wife. Someone please tell me we're not talking Prof. Cox & missus. That'd give a whole new interpretation of 'stimulated emission'.
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/04/2013 20:49

"....like St Tiggywinkles but with beavers women I stead of hedgehogs....."!!! I am crying with laughter, and the dog is Looking at me like this > Confused

YoniLovesChachi · 11/04/2013 20:49

Brian is the High Priest of Handjobs. He puts a little of himself into every member of his flock. What a man.

muddythegoddessofdawn · 11/04/2013 20:49

Hi
Can you tell me if Brian is self employed or does he work a week in hand! Grin

I'm glad Beckys yoni is feeling better.

Forwardscatter · 11/04/2013 20:49

Has he tried Netmums?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/04/2013 20:50

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr instead, not I stead - bloody iPad.

YoniWhenILaugh · 11/04/2013 20:50

Nice try, OP Grin

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