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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned my friend seemed pissed off after I looked after her DD?

236 replies

AuntFini · 09/04/2013 15:51

I took my friend's DD (23 months) out for the day today to give my friend a chance to prepare for her parents and siblings visiting for the week. I have no kids.

We went to a farm and I took her for lunch, and after 4 hours went back to meet my friend at the coach station where she was meeting family. By this point her DD was asleep in her car seat in my car, exhausted. My friends asked where her DD was and I said asleep and she seemed really cross. She moved her DD (still sleeping, in carseat) to her car, got in and left.

I'm left feeling a bit confused as to what I've done on this one!

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 09/04/2013 15:53

maybe she doesnt like her having a late nap as it may affect her night-time sleep. She sounds a bit ungrateful anyway.

tiggytape · 09/04/2013 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappySeven · 09/04/2013 15:54

I'm guessing she doesn't like her sleeping during the day but it was very rude: you did her a big favour and she should be grateful.

ilovepowerhoop · 09/04/2013 15:54

hope she said thank you to you as well

Lexiesinclair · 09/04/2013 15:54

Had you left her alone in the car?

HotCrossPun · 09/04/2013 15:56

Don't bother doing any more favours for her. That is so rude.

Sanctimumious · 09/04/2013 15:56

SOme people are very ungrateful and precious. You were doing her a massive favour and you can't keep a tired two year old awake in the back of a car.

If you took my kids all day, I'd be grateful. I wouldn't mind if you just dragged them around the shops and parked them in front of dvds and gave them crisps.

OHforDUCKScake · 09/04/2013 15:56

Shock what an ungrateful mare! Id be very pissed off.

If my toddler sleeps late, then yes it means a 10pm bedtime, but it happens, its no biggy!

She should be hugely grateful.

DiscoDonkey · 09/04/2013 15:56

Had you left her dd unattended in the car to meet her or did she meet you at the car?

If you left her unattended then maybe she was peeved about that? If not she sounds ungrateful and rude

LindyHemming · 09/04/2013 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AuntFini · 09/04/2013 15:57

No I was standing next to the car and the car door was open where her DD was sleeping. I suppose letting her sleep will mean she might not sleep later but as I'm not used to little ones that age I'm not sure that's something I can help. Good to know I suppose and I might think again before I agree to helping out so readily in future.

OP posts:
MusicalEndorphins · 09/04/2013 15:59

I wondered about her being alone in the car too, perhaps that was it? If she didn't want her to have a late nap, she should have told you before hand. But it sounds like you gave the little one a great day, and your friend should have shown some appreciation. YANBU.

FBmum · 09/04/2013 16:00

When your friends asked where their DD was, was your car out of sight at the time? Had you left her asleep whilst you went to find them? If so, maybe they were upset because she was left alone asleep in the car?

that's the only reason why I think your friend could be upset, other than what other people have said about nap times, which seems pretty unfair of her.

MusicalEndorphins · 09/04/2013 16:01

x post, sorry. It must of been the nap then, but that was not your fault, and no big crime in my eyes.

FBmum · 09/04/2013 16:01

sorry - crossed posts!

starfishmummy · 09/04/2013 16:02

Yanbu. She should have told you nap times if she was that bothered.

Manchesterhistorygirl · 09/04/2013 16:03

Do you want my two year old for the day? You sound a fab friend and your friend is a bit of an arse to have been so rude with you.

LadyVoldemort · 09/04/2013 16:03

It's not your fault, you weren't to know she doesn't want her to sleep later in the day (if hat was her problem).

Fwiw you sound like a lovely friend :)

ssd · 09/04/2013 16:04

your friend sounds horrible and rude, I wouldn't bother helping her out again

Original poster
AuntFini · 09/04/2013 16:05

Manchester I would happily take your two year old, I had a great day! Obviously it's the napping that's the issue then, but that's life. At least it wasn't anything else that was worse and I hadn't realised.

Maybe she was just stressed and seeing her DD worn out was the last straw.

OP posts:
MajaBiene · 09/04/2013 16:08

You were doing her a favour, and most toddlers wouldn't be able to stay awake in a car after a day out. Your friend was really rude.

alarkaspree · 09/04/2013 16:09

It can be a little disruptive if children have late naps, but there's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it if you are taking them in the car. I hope your friend comes to her senses soon and showers you with grateful appreciation for taking her dd out.

elfycat · 09/04/2013 16:10

My 4yo won't sleep before 9pm if she has even a micro sleep in the day. But if we go out in the car there is no way I can keep her awake, she's just one of those children who sleep in cars plus she gets car sick so a late night is the lesser of 2 evils

If it is the nap that has caused your friend to act like this then she is BU, YANBU. Even if she had asked you to keep her awake there's nothing you can do. Shouting doesn't work, or discussing the finer points of In The Night Garden, or singing 'Old McDonald' complete with noises bat anyone?

You can come and take my 2yo (+/- the 4yo) out for the day. If they nap it's not a problem here!

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2013 16:13

Ungracious biddy! You ddn't "let" her child sleep in the car seat, how could you possibly have prevented it? We used to regularly drive round the streets with ds1 at bedtime, it was the only guaranteed way to get him to sleep.
Your friend wants jam on it.

BlingLoving · 09/04/2013 16:13

Definitely a bit strange. If she didn't want her dd to fall asleep, she should have told you in advance. Not that there's much you could have done about it frankly.

Did she thank you at all?

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