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Original poster

To be concerned my friend seemed pissed off after I looked after her DD?

236 replies

AuntFini · 09/04/2013 15:51

I took my friend's DD (23 months) out for the day today to give my friend a chance to prepare for her parents and siblings visiting for the week. I have no kids.

We went to a farm and I took her for lunch, and after 4 hours went back to meet my friend at the coach station where she was meeting family. By this point her DD was asleep in her car seat in my car, exhausted. My friends asked where her DD was and I said asleep and she seemed really cross. She moved her DD (still sleeping, in carseat) to her car, got in and left.

I'm left feeling a bit confused as to what I've done on this one!

OP posts:
Guineapigfriend · 09/04/2013 23:18

I tried everything to keep children awake, windows open, very loud music blasting out, singing like a demented loon. But it takes just a split second when you stop to look when turning right and they are asleep. I've got a great picture of my daughter who fell asleep with a huge sandwich crust hanging out of her mouth!

GingerBlondecat · 10/04/2013 06:13

I get the sence of jelousy on her words.

She might not 'enjoy' being a Mum. And then she see's you having a Fabulous time with the child.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

You did nothing wrong, it IS all her.

edwardsmum11 · 10/04/2013 06:21

Sounds like a spoilt madam tbh...

CheerfulYank · 10/04/2013 06:30

Total caaahhhhh.

My DS goes to stay with my parents for occasional long weekends and returns exhausted and out of sorts. It's just the way it is and the time off is worth it.

thegreylady · 10/04/2013 08:21

Both my grandchildren aged 4 and 6 fall asleep after a tiring fun day. The older one can be kept awake with conversation but the 4 year old cannot. Their mum just asks me to keep them awake if I can but even so the 4 year old dropped off on Tuesday after 6 hours at the safari park and on Thursday last week after 3 hours at an outdoor play park. Your friend is being horrible. If you really like her just tell her you won't be taking the child out again otherwise I'd let the friendship go.

OnwardBound · 10/04/2013 09:35

Wow, your 'friend' is a real charmer ain't she Hmm

I agree with everything else everyone has already said re her entitled ungrateful attitude and the impossibility of keeping a 2 year old awake after an exciting and busy afternoon.

But I wondered, did your friend a] send her daughter with any food/lunch to eat or b] offer you any money to pay for lunch out?

Because this is a bare minimum requirement, as in she should have been responsible for this, NOT you [and if she was a grateful nice person she would have offered to pay for you too].

And did she even think to bring you a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates to say thank you for minding her DC for 4 hours whilst she got on with other things?

And all this 'hunning' makes her sound like a brain dead passive aggressive anyway.

You are well shot of her OP. She sounds like a rude ungrateful PITA.

I would be absolutely livid Angry

DontSweatTheSmallStuff · 10/04/2013 09:40

She just gets worse. As Dh would say - she's got her head so far up her own arse you can see out of her own mouth.

DontSweatTheSmallStuff · 10/04/2013 09:41

she can see out, not you

Must preview!

OnwardBound · 10/04/2013 09:45

DontSweat I don't get that..

If you have your head up your arse how can you see out your own mouth? Confused

Longdistance · 10/04/2013 09:55

What an ungrateful cow of a friend you have.
You can have my dd's for the day anytime, if you take them to a farm Grin
If she had a late nap that would be advantageous as family are visiting, hence they wanting to see her, she'll be excited that family are visiting anyway.
I hope she comes up with a thank you very soon,or she can bog off for next time!

Crinkle77 · 10/04/2013 09:57

OP you sound lovely and your 'friend' sounds like a complete cow. If she would have preferred her to sleep on the way there rather than on the way back she should have said in the first place. But then you can't make a child sleep on demand. You were doing her a favour and she threw it back in your face. Even if she was annoyed she could have just pretended not to be, smiled and thanked you. She would not be a friend of mine any longer.

AnyoneforTurps · 10/04/2013 10:00

Agree with everyone else. The only thing that you should be worried about is that you have a crap friend. I on pain of execution by MN firing squad from apologising to her.

I am particularly Shock that she actually had the cheek to complain in a text. I can just about excuse being a bit moody at the time if she is very sleep-deprived but anyone with the slightest sense would have realised that she was BU and apologised immediately, not complained.

AnyoneforTurps · 10/04/2013 10:04

PS I'd email her the link to this thread.

Then delete her contact details.

DontSweatTheSmallStuff · 10/04/2013 10:10

Grin onward Good point. You've obviously given it more thought than us. Grin

I knew what he meant though

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/04/2013 10:30

shocking.
:(

I can't believe she expected you to magically know that she wanted her DD awake on arrival.

and how the hell do you keep a child/toddler awake in the car after a day out?! Confused

I'm at a loss!

then she woke up hungry and crying? did she wake up naturally, or did the mum force her to wake so she could be the little doll/entertainer for her family?
since when did family getting to play with the child become more important than the child's needs?
of course she woke up hungry and crying!

The woman is a complete loon.

and she definitely stepped over the line actually more like ran over it with no regard for the line when she was so very rude to you!
"when you have kids you'll understand" Hmm
yep, just like all the mums on 215 messages (bar one or two) obviously don't understand either.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/04/2013 10:32

onward - it's not closed, is it?
food gets from the mouth done the food pipe in to the stomach and into the bowl.
there must be a route for the head to take.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/04/2013 10:32

and they were visiting for the week as well - not like it was just the afternoon and they wouldn't have another chance!!!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 10/04/2013 10:33

'you would understand if you had your own'. What a snide passive-aggressive comment. And interesting that she has to attribute it to her DH as well ? doesn't even have the guts to make her own comments, eh?

OP, you obviously have a healthy amount of self-respect and emotional literacy to know that you weren't in the wrong and to ask her for an apology.

So are you going to reply if/when she contacts you again? I can't believe her cheek saying 'so I'll see you soon hun'!

YouTheCat · 10/04/2013 10:36

At least if she asks you again (and I think she will when it suits her) you can just say 'Oh no, I sorry I'm not a mum so I don't have a clue' or you could just tell her to piss right off of course.

ArtemisiaGentileschisThumb · 10/04/2013 10:43

It's arrogant of her to think that she is doing you a favour by letting you look after her pfb! When I am lucky enough to have someone look after my DS I tell them to do what they want, feed him what they want and no worries if he falls asleep. I deal with the fall out afterwards if there is any. And as for DH, what a condescending shit, I do have children and I still don't understand their shitty and ungrateful attitude

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 10/04/2013 10:44

'Oh no, I sorry I'm not a mum so I don't have a clue' Grin Grin

Love it. Please say that, OP.

BaronessBomburst · 10/04/2013 10:48

What To Do If Your Toddler Falls Asleep Late Afternoon:

  1. Let them sleep.
  2. Wake them up.
  3. Do whatever you do in the evening.
  4. Take them to bed with you.

Problem solved.

noclue2000 · 10/04/2013 10:49

She's a twunt.

SarahAndFuck · 10/04/2013 10:51

She should understand that pretty much every toddler sleeps in the car on the way back from a busy day out.

There's not much you can do about it.

She was rude and ungrateful and patronising.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 10/04/2013 11:02

Genuinely don't understand how people can fail to appreciate such a good friend when they have one.

What sort of self centred world must they inhabit?