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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned my friend seemed pissed off after I looked after her DD?

236 replies

AuntFini · 09/04/2013 15:51

I took my friend's DD (23 months) out for the day today to give my friend a chance to prepare for her parents and siblings visiting for the week. I have no kids.

We went to a farm and I took her for lunch, and after 4 hours went back to meet my friend at the coach station where she was meeting family. By this point her DD was asleep in her car seat in my car, exhausted. My friends asked where her DD was and I said asleep and she seemed really cross. She moved her DD (still sleeping, in carseat) to her car, got in and left.

I'm left feeling a bit confused as to what I've done on this one!

OP posts:
popebenedictsp45 · 09/04/2013 17:50

Presumably on the way there she wouldn't have been tired! As others have said it is impossible to keep a sleepy two year old awake on a car journey.

Shame you've been made to feel like the bad guy for doing something nice for your friend.

rundontwalk · 09/04/2013 17:50

You sound lovely & your friend has been spectacularly rude! In her place I would be very greatful. Don't take it to heart :)

tunnocksteacake · 09/04/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FBmum · 09/04/2013 17:53

Next time, feed the child Coca cola and Haribo on the way home. Hand her over a REALLY lively child Grin

tiggytape · 09/04/2013 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

josiejay · 09/04/2013 17:55

How rude! You sound like a lovely friend, she sounds like an ungrateful madam. I would never dream of complaining about anything a friend did when minding my DC as long as they were kept safe and they didn't deliberately do anything that was against my express wishes. Yes a late nap can be a PITA but it's sometimes unavoidable and often just means the DC has had a really fun day. And keeping a sleepy toddler awake in the car is pretty much impossible.
At least you and the little one had a lovely day, I would just focus on that and ignore your 'friend'

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 17:55

it would have been the nap things parents of toddlers can get obsessed with naps it tips them over the edge, however she was a rude moo you had her dd for the afternoon she had no right to be so bloody snooty about it ,dont have the baby again

Deadhamsterssmell · 09/04/2013 17:57

I was a nanny for seven years, then I had my own 3 DC and I still haven't mastered the art of keeping children awake in the car, nor getting them to sleep on demand...

You sound a lovely, kind person and it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest if mine had gone to sleep, I would just have been so grateful for time to myself.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2013 17:58

Did the text contain the words 'thank you'

Francagoestohollywood · 09/04/2013 18:01

Your friend is just supremely rude

AllOverIt · 09/04/2013 18:02

What a bee-atch. Please don't offer to do her any more favours. She doesn't deserve you as a friend.

You sound lovely. You're welcome to watch my two any time. Wink

Coconutty · 09/04/2013 18:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 09/04/2013 18:03

Text back and say "I am so sorry. I suggest you dock my wages or mention your dissatisfaction in my annual appraisal."

Original poster
AuntFini · 09/04/2013 18:03

Stealth no it didn't! I'd usually get grumpy with someone for being so rude (in response to whoever said I'd be a doormat taking her out again) but I generally really like her and love spending time with her sweet DD, but perhaps in future I'll just go out with her as well rather than taking her DD on her own. At least having come on AIBU I know that I haven't committed some sort of baby faux pas!

Or just have my own DC and sod looking after everyone else's ;)

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 09/04/2013 18:03

Wow. Some people are so ungrateful.

I wouldn't bother doing it again but you only piss me off once in a lifetime.

WinkyWinkola · 09/04/2013 18:06

But even if your friend had told you not to let the child nap, what are you actually supposed to do if she conks out?

Ungracious woman. That's one friend you should bin.

DontSHOUTTTTTT · 09/04/2013 18:06

Your friend is not a friend. Angry

What she did was spectacularly rude and ungrateful. You did her a huge favour.

I would either drop her as a friend or would let her know how I feel.

Does she have 'history' or being a bitch rude?

DontSHOUTTTTTT · 09/04/2013 18:07

Typo...Blush

..... of being a ....

Not ...or being a.....

TraineeBabyCatcher · 09/04/2013 18:09

Maybe if you want to take her out in the future, you view it as doing yourself a favour- in that you get to spend lovely quality time with the dc, and sod what the friend thinks.

I'd love a friend like you and I definitely wouldn't be so damn rude and ungrateful.

WowOoo · 09/04/2013 18:10

Bloody hell! How completely ungrateful.

We just had a childless friend babysit our 3 yr old and although sleeping at 5 o'clock is far from ideal (from a getting them off to sleep at 6:30 point of view), I really couldn't complain. I'd had a day off my 3 yr old and he'd (ds2) had a wonderful, tiring day. He slept far later than usual, but that's not a problem. I didn't instruct our friend not to let him sleep and to let him have a tantrum instead!

As he refused money, I left our friend a potted plant, wine and a DVD.

Original poster
AuntFini · 09/04/2013 18:10

No she doesn't have history at all and I thought she was fairly laid back with her DD so I wonder if it's something to do with having parents to stay etc or something else has happened which has put her in a terrible mood! On the other hand if that was the case she'd likely have calmed down about it by now but there was a gap between her picking DD up and texting me so it's obviously a sustained feeling of pissed-off-ness that I failed to keep a tired baby awake!!

So I think maybe I'll text back and just say I think she's been rude and I was doing her a favour.

OP posts:
MooMooSkit · 09/04/2013 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

lockets · 09/04/2013 18:12

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Exhaustipated · 09/04/2013 18:15

Wow. Was her text unprompted or did you ask her if anything was wrong? Would love to hear the whole text actually 'cause I'm nosy as I can't actually believe someone would be so rude and ungrateful!

My text in that situation (late nap or not) would be something like 'Thank you SO much you are an amazing friend. I owe you one! Thank you again love Exhaustipated xxxxx'

YANBU

DontSweatTheSmallStuff · 09/04/2013 18:18

How ungrateful. If she was that bothered she should have woken her dd up when she moved her. It's virtually impossible to stop a child that age sleeping in the car if they are that tired after a day out. Blimey, my 5 and 7 year old and DH - lazy lump all fell asleep in the car yesterday after a day out.