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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you have a giant rottweiler you should say so when you invite children to play?

239 replies

kawliga · 26/03/2013 10:10

Or is it up to me, whenever my daughter is invited to play with schoolfriends to ask their parents 'by the way, might you happen to have a giant rottweiler the size of a small tractor in your house'?

This was a friendly dog and dd is not frightened of dogs, but we don't have dogs ourselves so she is also not used to them. This dog, the sheer size of it, could knock a grown man over even if it's just playing. When I arrived to pick her up DD was cowering in the corner Sad although later she told me she had fun playing there, so no harm done. Just feel a bit uneasy. I feel like I should have known so I could say something like 'there's a big dog there but it's friendly so don't worry' before she went there to play. AIBU?

OP posts:
ArseAche · 26/03/2013 10:11

yabu

DiscoDonkey · 26/03/2013 10:12

Yabu

nokidshere · 26/03/2013 10:13

I am terrified of dogs but my children aren't. My fear means that I always ask anyone who's house I have to visit if they have dogs before I go and can they shut them away whilst I am there.

Just ask when making the arrangements.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON · 26/03/2013 10:14

I do mention that we have a dog when inviting children over, yes.

CalamityKate · 26/03/2013 10:14

Ooh I don't know really... The DCs have had friends over before and I've never mentioned our dogs beforehand. Never thought to. However they always get shut in their own room (off the kitchen with a dog gate) on those occasions.

If we hadn't got the provision to separate them I'd probably check that the visiting child wasn't scared of dogs.

I'm not sure the breed is that relevant really.

GreenLeafTea · 26/03/2013 10:15

I always mention we have a cat. Some people have allergies.

Heartbeep · 26/03/2013 10:15

yanbu

Theicingontop · 26/03/2013 10:15

Well if I had a massive dog, I would say something to that effect. But she isn't obliged to...

If your DD isn't frightened of dogs why was she cowering in the corner?
When a dog is part of your family you can tend to forget they're even an issue for other people.

Cambam2010 · 26/03/2013 10:16

YANBU. You are not to know how an ordinarily friendly dog will behave around a child it has not met before.

A casual comment by the owner to say that they had a large dog and to enquire whether your DD was ok around dogs would have been considerate.

bedmonster · 26/03/2013 10:17

Don't know really. I probably would mention it, same as I would mention if I had a snake in a tank, or builders in replacing windows, it's not 'the norm' and might throw a child for a second if it's not what they were expecting.

fluffyanimal · 26/03/2013 10:17

YWNBU if the dog had actually knocked your DD over and the owners had done nothing.
YWNBU if your DD was allergic to animals and the inviting parents knew this.
As it is, I think YABU. Rottweilers have a rather negative public image but that does not mean this dog is a problem - after all, the owners' own child presumably lives with it happily. I think your comment about 'cowering in the corner' is more likely a projection of your own anxiety.
BTW I am no dog lover myself.

gymmummy64 · 26/03/2013 10:18

YANBU. I have a dog and I always make sure any child who hasn't been to the house before is aware and the parent too. It's daft not to - there may be allergies, fears or religious sensitivities and it would be irresponsible of me not to mention it imo.

I also supervise any contact between my dog and any new child, for the dog's sake as well as the child's. People that he's used to he tends just to ignore but dogs can pick up on nervous or inexperienced body language and it can make them edgy. I trust my dog, but I always always err on the side of caution.

exoticfruits · 26/03/2013 10:18

I would always mention it.

Startail · 26/03/2013 10:19

I do wish people would realise not everyone is good with dogs and introduce then gently.

DH and DD1 hate dogs bounding up to them, I generally don't mind and DD2 will ask to take the animal for a walk!

LittleEdie · 26/03/2013 10:21

YABU

FreudiansSlipper · 26/03/2013 10:21

I mention we have a cat

yes it should have been mentioned as in by the way we have a dog biggish one is our dd ok around dogs

luckybarsteward · 26/03/2013 10:23

When my kids were smaller, people with dogs did tend to ask if they were okay around them before they visited.

from bbc news

"Surveys suggest nearly half of all children will be bitten by a dog at some point, with the under-7s at greatest risk.

Researchers have discovered a common mistake children make is to interpret bared teeth as a doggy smile.

Lincoln University is developing an interactive DVD to teach children as young as three how to read dog cues.

Figures suggest that each year, approximately 4,000 people in the UK attend A&E after being bitten by a dog."

practically speaking, YANBU

Maggie111 · 26/03/2013 10:24

Yab a little u

I do inform people I have a dog and a cat when I invite people round due to allergies/phobias, but I don't see what the size and breed of the dog have to do with anything. Rotties are beauties!!

LibertineLover · 26/03/2013 10:28

I have never thought to check with someone if they are Ok about dogs, I have a rhodesian ridgeback, so he's a big boy, but soft as a kitten, and part of the family, so have never even considered it, maybe I should? BUT if a child has a problem with dogs/cats allergies, is it not the childs parents responsibility to ask?

TheSeventhHorcrux · 26/03/2013 10:29

Does the breed make a difference? Rottweilers are not naturally nasty, they just look a bit scary.
I personally would tell someone we had a dog before they came (a Border Collie which BTW is far more likely to knock down a child because they're so manic) but TBH if you have such an issue it's more on you to ask.

And if someone was scared of dogs in my house (unless they had a damn god reason or was SN or something) the dog would remain where he was. No way would we lock him away.

Original poster
kawliga · 26/03/2013 10:31

fluffyanimal you may be right that I'm projecting about cowering in the corner. This was the situation when I arrived: dd was nowhere to be seen and the child she went to play with was in and out of the front room coming and going. DD was out of sight I don't know where exactly maybe in the child's bedroom. She was not standing in the hallway or any open place. Usually when I arrive she would come out to say hello even if she was playing but this time there was no sign of her. When it was time to go they had to go and get her and took a long time persuading her to come out. Ok maybe she was not hiding from the dog that was just my assessment of the situation.

The breed is relevant because it was the sheer size of this dog that made me feel uneasy (not the fact that it's a dog). Ok, not the breed but the size. I haven't encountered a rottweiler close up before, neither has dd. It jumped on me when I arrived to pick her up, not in an aggresive or scary way but I felt how strong and heavy it is and that was a new experience for me, not unpleasant but also not very comfortable. I just felt I would have liked to know. This is really the AIBU part.

Not sure about asking people if they have dogs when they invite us, since dd is not normally afraid of dogs, I don't want to make it into an issue. In a way I'll be happy to hear that IABU so I can put the whole experience behind me.

OP posts:
twinklesparkles · 26/03/2013 10:31

Yabu

luckybarsteward · 26/03/2013 10:32

Rotties are working dogs and a guardian breed, great if they are part of your family. They are no more/less aggressive than most dogs but having a 125kg plus dog that by design likes to lean against people might not be the best thing to have around small children that aren't aqquainted with it or dogs in general.

ProphetOfDoom · 26/03/2013 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

persimmon · 26/03/2013 11:01

YANBU. Lots of people are nervous of dogs, some actively dislike them, and some have allergies.

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