to think if you have a giant rottweiler you should say so when you invite children to play?

[kawliga]

Or is it up to me, whenever my daughter is invited to play with schoolfriends to ask their parents 'by the way, might you happen to have a giant rottweiler the size of a small tractor in your house'?

This was a friendly dog and dd is not frightened of dogs, but we don't have dogs ourselves so she is also not used to them. This dog, the sheer size of it, could knock a grown man over even if it's just playing. When I arrived to pick her up DD was cowering in the corner although later she told me she had fun playing there, so no harm done. Just feel a bit uneasy. I feel like I should have known so I could say something like 'there's a big dog there but it's friendly so don't worry' before she went there to play. AIBU?

[ComposHat]

We have a cat and I have becer thought about telling people as she's part if the family, but maybe I shiuld in case someone has an allergy.

[AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree]

I would have given my dog a marrow bone and popped him in a separate area. It's not worth the risk; as lovely as my dog may be and as patient and placid as he is around my nieces, keeping him around excitable children is just short sighted. A child, simply from being a child, can antagonise a dog and then it just turns messy. He's a Lhasa Apso by the way, so hardly aggressive, but I would treat him just like a Rotty or Pit Bull as much as it would break my heart. Just not worth it.

[AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree]

So.....YANBU.

[olgaga]

Ghanagirl that must be so exasperating!

Many owners simply fail to appreciate their dog's potential for unpredictability and aggression no matter how "soft" they seem to be. But I really cannot understand the mentality of people who mix small children with animals they know to be aggressive!

Unfortunately my DD is very scared of dogs and has been since she was a toddler, when a "friendly" labrador came bounding up to her on its extendable lead, barking loudly, and tried to steal her icecream.

DD was strapped into her buggy at the time, it terrified her. Sadly it's one of her earliest memories.

The owner was very apologetic, but the damage was done as far as DD was concerned.

[squiddle]

I never ask anyone if they have a dog at home - it would be an odd question. Similarly, I wouldn't check that a mother was going to keep an eye on my dc and would not leave them alone in the house or with some random stranger etc - I would just expect her to take care of my kids.

I would totally expect to be told about a massive dog. It's completely wrong to have a dog that has the potential to cause serious damage and not to check that the child is okay with dogs etc. Personally, if I knew there was a Rottweiler (or pit bull) I would not be sending my child to that house. I don't like dogs and I definitely do not want my kids around these breeds.

I remember very well going to my mum's friend's house and being left downstairs with an Alsatian that followed me and my sister around and 'playfully' nipped us. My cousin had a Rottweiler, which I found pretty scary too. He assured me how gentle and lovely she was - but a couple of years later she turned on him and pinned him down. I just would not take the risk with a child.

[intheshed]

YANBU- we have guinea pigs and I always mention that! (Not that they are ferocious child-eating guinea pigs, but just because some people are allergic.)

[MarianForrester]

I do usually check, and would put dog away if they were really not happy to pay with her there. I do appreciate she is large and can be scary at first sight, though she is very gentle and friendly. (Irish setter)

Thinking about it, I would possibly be a bit wary about some breeds, probably irrationally, but might cause me to make judgments. Am bit horrified with myself for that, actually, but there you go.

[AdoraBell]

OP YANBU, I always tell visitors and make sure DDs also talk to their friends about the dogs, we have German Shepherds - wonderful dogs but big and strong enough to cause damage while playing so we keep them away from visiting DCs or anyone who is afraid of dogs.


For one friend we do the dog/kitchen shuffle because her DM is petrified although the DD is quite happy to play with them. It takes a few minutes longer for her collect her DD than other friends but stops her panicking.

Really, any dog could hurt a child, regardless of their size.

[ScarletLady02]

We have a Jack Russell cross who is just about the soppiest thing ever, but I do tell people we have a dog if they're coming round for the first time so YANBU. Some people don't like dogs, some have phobias, and some are just allergic. Or even if it's just a warning for people who are slightly nervous.

I love Rotties for what it's worth and don't consider them an aggressive breed, but they ARE strong, and having walked one for a friend a few times I know a lot of people are intimidated by them.

[FeckOffCup]

*But why on earth are you assuming that because someone has a dog they will leave them unsupervised?"

Because not all dog owners are responsible and I have experience of this, I was bitten on the hand by a friend's dog as a child because I found myself alone with it, went to pat it and the friend's parents hadn't warned me that it didn't like being approached by unfamiliar children, I didn't have the dog sense to know that for myself. I will be telling my own DD never to approach a dog unless the owner is there to closely supervise the situation but I would be very unhappy if she went to someone's home and was left alone in the room with the dog as I was.

[kawliga]

exotic, DD went to the play date straight from school with the other child, I didn't drop her off to the house and hadn't been there before so we didn't know about the dog.

The dog was not locked way, it was running about the house while I was there. Her friend was in and out and all about, usually dd would be doing the same playing together not hiding away somewhere by herself in a strange house. No matter how fantastic the toys! She's not one for playing hide and seek when I arrive. About whether she said she was scared. I did not ask her anything about the dog. I did not want to freak her out and make her start thinking maybe something was wrong. Just going by my own sense of how things looked and how I know my dd.

Not sure after reading this thread what to do in future. Not keen on asking people whether they have dogs whenever dd is invited:

Lovely parent at school gate: 'Would your dd like to come and play?'
Me: 'I don't know, do you have dogs?'

Just can't see it. I think the owners should volunteer the info. It's easier for them to say 'by the way we have a ginormous guard dog that runs about the house'. But I accept ImightBU about the size/breed issue.

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

I don't like dogs and I definitely do not want my kids around these breeds.
Oh you've had some shocking experiences with dogs. Awful. My MIL is terrified of dogs as she was bitten by one - we're not sure what breed; she thinks either GS or PB, but it was in the 80's so we have no real idea. It's been a real education for me to understand how people can be nervous around dogs - regardless of the breed and to understand how the breed doesn't matter to the person - as I grew up with two fab labradors. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

though she is very gentle and friendly. (Irish setter) I love Irish Setters!!!!!!! So gorg and placid. Would LOVE to have one, but I can do the hair shedding.

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

*Can't

[tabulahrasa]

The thing is, to you it's a giant Rottweiler, to them it's just their dog...

I don't think to tell people I've got a dog, or cats or that there could well be peanut butter in my cupboard or milk in my fridge - if someone tells me that their child is scared of dogs or when they arrive it becomes obvious they're not keen then of course I'll keep it out of the way, but it wouldn't occur to me to mention it first.

[AdoraBell]

I would ask DD if she had fun playing at friend's house, then lead into what games did you play, did you have a lovely snack, was their dog fun, few more random Q's if she doesn't respond differently to dog related Q.

If she is upset or nervous then in future when invited just say "lovely idea, she is a tad nervous about dogs tho, do you have dogs btw?"

[eminemmerdale]

I think it would be polite to say you have a dog - as has been said before some people, not just children, are scared of them, whatvere the breed. Ds (13) is terrified of the little schnauzer next door as she yaps and yaps and jumps up all the time and it bothers him. he refuses to go round however many times we try to convince she's just a bit daft., whereas dd7 will go and play happily. DS has always been nervous around dogs , although is a lot better now, and I did used to check when he went to peoples houses, so I could tell him and chat about it.

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

I was bitten by an Airedale Terrier when I was about 8. It was in my Gran and Grandpa's (open) front garden. Weird, but I remember at the time that it didn't freak me out. It was just a dog. Then when I was about 14/15, I was attacked by a Shitzu - of all the embarrassing breeds to be attacked by....! It had a hair band making a pony tail and as I was sitting with my back against a wall with my legs straight out (if that makes sense?) it went bananas. I couldn't get up and it was trying to maul my arm - with a VERY small mouth. I remember swinging between 2 kitchen benches - one arm on each to get my feet off the ground - and it trying to rip my feet off - haha! I had to get a tetanus that night. Still a doggy person though.

[CalamityKate]

Airedales always remind me of those toy dogs that had wheels and a handle.

[MarianForrester]

Twobras: she makes the shedding worthwhile

But it is a nightmare, especially after a surge of affection from her...!

[Lucyellensmum95]

I used to have a rotwieller the size of a truck precisely so we didn#t have to have kids over to play :)

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

Airedales always remind me of those toy dogs that had wheels and a handle.

Hahaha!!!!! The whole wheels with handle thing is the ONLY reason that I know what breed it was! I tried to figure out what breed it was that had bitten me years ago and I Googled 'square faced dog with wheels.'

[LtEveDallas]

PimpMyHippo

I can't do a link from my work computer (too much security!), but if you google "Telegraph Sausage dogs are most aggressive breed" you should get a good article based on the study.

Also try the websites dogbitelaw and dogbiteclaim.co.uk both of which go into the science of the studies.

Back when my brothers dog was playing up I was sent a link by the Dogs Law people that gave the UK statistics for infant injuries and deaths as compiled by the NHS. The main cause of all injury/deaths was 'accidents in the home', followed closely by 'attacks by parents/relatives' . Dog bite injuries were way, way down the list. It's funny that we (in general) worry about dogs, when our children are far more likely to be hurt by other humans.

I've been trying to google it but can't get thru my firewall, I may try again tonight as it made v interesting reading.

[ComposHat]

I think the breed of the dog is a red herring all dog breeds have some capacity for violence. Some people don't like dogs and some have allergie. The fact it was a rottweiler is neither here nor there.

I know this isn't the same but as a kid we had a violent nutcase of a cat. We were so used to being bitten and nipped that it didn't register, we also got good at reading when she was pissed off and to leave well alone. However oir younger cousin was less aware and picked up the cat and hugged her like a teddy bear and got a good clawing as a result. In retrospect my parents should have either shut the cat upstairs or given strict instructions not to bother her.

[TwoBrasDontMakeABodice]

MarianForrester Aw!!!!! Beautiful dogs!!!!!!! And yes, so cuddly.