MN IS NOW OFFICIALLY A JOKE FREE ZONE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS REALLY SERIOUS AND GUARANTEED TO OFFEND SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IN A CUPBOARD IN 1970

[Hullygully]

No jokes please.

1. No jokes about my dh walks a bit funny.

Because real people walk a bit funny and it is SERIOUS. I HAVE REPORTED YOU.

1. No jokes about furriners go ome or goats because real people face this everyday and it is SERIOUS I HAVE REPORTED YOU

I HAVE REPORTED EVERYONE EVERYWHERE FOR EVERYTHING JUST IN CASE

FFS

I thought my pelvic floor was alright

But I did the "shred" dvd today in my light grey joggers and after the jumping jacks I look like an advert for Tena Lady and the front room smelt like an old peoples home.

But how, how do you direct a fart into your fanjo? How long does it stay there for?

Ok.

So you have an enormous fat arse that can direct huge gales of wind into your vagine?

Is this not a little troubling?

It wasn't until I shared on MN, I thought everyone did it.

LaQueen, you should watch out, or your keys will wind up in Sp's Fanjo...her vj apparently operates like one of those black hole thingies..things get sucked on, they never come out..

Well, I have to go now so I can no longer share inspiring tales of fanny farting

Laterz

I think I look pretty good.

bye absy doll

You can direct your farts into your fanjo

Well. That certainly tops my list of Most Talented MNers.

catgirl I have a "tree sex in crash helmet" update.
Apparently, he didn't have the crash helmet on during the tree sex, oh no.

He had it on on a separate occasion, with a different person, whilst shagging her from behind and they were behind a curtain too. Just for good measure. And he had it on, (and he said this in a "duh" voice) cos he hadn't long gt off his bike. And he found it funny.

I think this proves two things conclusively about my DP.

1. he thinks he is the sodding Milk Tray man in porn form.
2. he was a man whore back in the day.

Bye bye Absy

Well, at least he was using protection Fellow

I am very impressed with your DHs exploits. I don't think I have ever had sex in a tree. Or even a small shrub :( I feel I have missed out.

SP are you Kim Kardashian in disguise?

I hear she has a wide cunt penchant for inhaling keys up her fanjo....

Zombie is 60.

But, she's not a scorpion Scorpio.

Taureans rock!

FOFF You have just outed me!

Nice SP.

Catgirl trust me, I have had sex in a shrub. I got leaves where I never knew leaves could go. I've not gone as far as tree sex, as I suffer from terrible vertigo. That and the twat would drop me.

Zombie, cheers from a fellow Taurean! tosses confetti and random body parts

Do you think MNHQ will put this in Classics. Is hilar.

Pretty please with lashings of Gin.

It would certainly prove to certain twats parties that we can indeed rip the piss out ourselves.

That and the fact Absy can fart into or from her fanjo needs keeping for prosperity for ever more, frankly.

As I have hit 60 and DH is pushing 70, fanny farting might be a new skill for me and prove diverting for DH now he is in his retirment. Thanks for the instructions. Tree sex sounds uncomfortable and we really don't have the stamina or the weather.

LaQueen it could have been worse- he could have front piggy backed you and danced into the crowd, still attached as it were. And Size of a Cow is rather a jolly record which necessitates mass bouncing too.

Right must sign off too until the morning DD is whinging for me. I thought by 5 they got independent and stopped moaning at night.

('m back) oh no - this skill can not be saved for prosperity. I cannot emphasise enough that I thought it was more common and was pretty sure on MN I would find like-fanjoed (if you will) people.

Wow did I misjudge THAT post.