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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Because i dont bloody well think i am!

272 replies

mosschops30 · 04/10/2012 20:33

Was away for work sun- tues, dh looked after dcs but did nothing else, food on worktoos, no washing done etc.
So yesterday i tidy up as best i can (working full time) trying to catch up on washing.
Dh and ds1 on xbox as usal.
Same tonight, finished dinner, ds2 wants to go to bed and dh and ds1 sit down for an xbox game. So i am left with all the ckearing up, washing worktops, loading dishwasher etc.
Then i spyed ds1 jumper just thrown on kitchen floor and i asked him to come and pick it up, no repky so i said i woukd count to 3, then dh pipes up 'whoa hold on we're in the middle of a game.
At which point i really lost it, went into living room and attempted to turn tv off but dh blocked me (not pushing me just putting his arm up). Ds1 is laughing through all this which i think is pretty disgusting.
I told dh he should not be encouraging this behaviour of throwing your stuff on the floor and then laughing at your own mother.
Dh said i was 'psychotic' and 'totally out of order' and took ds1 up to our room where they have been since.

So am i out of order? I am friggin livid!

OP posts:
AlphabetiSpaghetti · 04/10/2012 20:35

Wait until they are asleep, and take away the Xbox. Hide it, burn it whatever. YANBU!!!

Meglet · 04/10/2012 20:35

Nope, that would have pissed me off too Angry. He's an adult and should act like it.

apostropheuse · 04/10/2012 20:38

YANBU your husband is being a complete and utter arsehole.

You don't need to put up with that crap. You need to have a serious talk with him. How dare he do that to you in front of your son?

No wonder I don't want a bloody man when I read this kind of stuff!

Leena49 · 04/10/2012 20:38

It all sounds like my idea of hell really. You have a very considerate thoughtful man there joking of course. Your son is learning his ways. Does your DH think a woman's place is in the kitchen. It seems like it.
Personally I wouldn't give a bloke like that the time of day. Sell the Xbox and kick ass!

KenLeeeeeee · 04/10/2012 20:39

YANBU. This is why I utterly loathe games consoles.

Thinkability · 04/10/2012 20:41

Sell the Xbox and kick ass!

Grin agree

Numberlock · 04/10/2012 20:44

So because you were working away, you have to catch up on all the jobs when you get back? That's unacceptable even if you'd been on holiday!

Your husband's a disrespectful arse but what concerns me more is the message he's teaching his son about how to treat his mother and women in general.

iklboo · 04/10/2012 20:44

Controllers would be taken to work with me & locked in a cupboard and the lead from out of the back. If there was a way to password lock it I'd do that too.

tasmaniandevilchaser · 04/10/2012 20:44

I know some long suffering woman in a similar situation who took a golf club to the TV. Normally I would be a bit Shock at that kind of thing, but knowing how lazy and selfish her "D"H is, and how much she does, I can totally see how she'd be driven to it.

If DH did this to me, I'd be volcanically angry.

tasmaniandevilchaser · 04/10/2012 20:45

if DH left me to clear up and sat around playing x box I'd be v angry, I mean

Numberlock · 04/10/2012 20:46

Is the Xbox really the issue though?

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/10/2012 20:47

I just cant believe it tonight, i am Shock. I do not want any of the dcs thinking that its ok to behave like that!
He just came down and i said 'im ready for your apology' and he replied 'you'll have a long wait'!
Im just gutted ds1 had to see me ranting but no way was i going to take that shit.
I always did 24 hours a week and did all the washing, cooking and cleaning. Now i am working full time, doing a masters degree and still expected to keep on top of all the washing and ironing and cleaning, he doesnt even do the food shop, he pays for it but i do it.
I have so much work to do, i have 2 assignments, a presentation and a 3 hour exam looming but have no time to sit down and work.

Am thoroughly pissed off tonight.

OP posts:
cbeebiesatemybrain · 04/10/2012 20:47

Yanbu! Your dh should not be undermining you in front of your ds.

Mollydoggerson · 04/10/2012 20:50

yanbu, x-boxes are addictive.

I wouldn't remove it without talking to your dh as he is not a child, but I think you need to sit down with dh and discuss each parents responsibility and discuss removing the x-box to break the addiction and maybe considder returning it in a month or so.

Numberlock · 04/10/2012 20:51

I would also speak to your son, how old is he?

I am incensed on your behalf!

pictish · 04/10/2012 20:52

Well so would I be!!

What a prick. Sorry to say it, but you've got a job on your hands sorting this one out. I'd be livid.

Smeghead · 04/10/2012 20:53

For a start I would not be doing any of his washing or cooking, and any of his stuff left out would be left on his side of the bed. How old is your DS? If he is old enough to reach the buttons on the washer then he is old enough to use and do his own washing too.

Oh and on Saturday, give him a shopping list and the car keys.

HumphreyCobbler · 04/10/2012 20:53

I too am incensed on your behalf. Hang on to your righteous anger and make it work for you to sort this out.

fuzzpig · 04/10/2012 20:53

How old are your DCs?

TBH it's no wonder your son disrespects you when his father treats you like that Angry

whistlestopcafe · 04/10/2012 20:56

YANBU! Why are you expected to do everything? If they are taking the piss I would draw up a rota so there is no ambiguity as to who does what. As you are working and studying I don't think you should have to do as much as dh.

Purplemonster · 04/10/2012 20:57

That's bloody apalling. I know a mum who calmly and quietly went around the house with a pair of scissors and CUT THE PLUG off every tv and games console in the house for much less than this. Seems like a good solution to me.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 04/10/2012 20:59

Ds1 is 7 and a lovely sensitive boy, he has just popped his head in and i told him that daddy was silly tonight and mummy shouldnt have shouted but i am tired of picking up after everyone but like when you have to do homework before xbox then you make sure things are tidy before you play.

OP posts:
Numberlock · 04/10/2012 20:59

Has this been the 'arrangement' ever since you got married, OP? Ie have you always done the bulk of the housework?

bringmeroses · 04/10/2012 20:59

IF you are working full time you and DH should be sharing chores and he should be doing washing cleaning up etc if you are away to keep on top of it for you.

It is a worry that he doesn't think his behaviour was unreasonable but if this is a pattern DH and DS1 have been in for a while and getting away with it, maybe he has been taken by surprise by you suddenly blowing up at him and DS. Talk to him and hopefully he'll understand about setting a good example to your DS's and respecting what you do and everyone doing their bit to keep the place tidy. Allocate everyone jobs (rota?! bit supernanny?!) and no-one plays on XBox until XYZ is done!!!

bringmeroses · 04/10/2012 21:00

IF not meant to be capitalized - looks sarky and not meant to be

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