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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pictures of children on Facebook?

223 replies

HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:47

This is very upsetting. DD (5) spent the whole day with my sister yesterday, and this morning she posted a picture of her on Facebook. I asked my sister to remove it and she said she's done so, but she unfriended me as well. AIBU? :(

OP posts:
NomNomingiaDePlum · 26/08/2012 10:51

assuming it's not a picture of your child in the bath or something? if not, then both of you. but her more, because it's slightly uptight of you, but not a hanging offence or anything.

Panzee · 26/08/2012 10:52

She should have asked though. It's only polite.
Facebook is the devil.

maples · 26/08/2012 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 10:54

I know lots of parents who have specifically asked not to post pictures of their kids on FB after we've had a camera at a party or whatever. Totally understandable and should be respected. The unfriending is a little harsh maybe, especially if it's your sister! Are there underlying isssues?

IShotJR · 26/08/2012 10:54

Bit harsh, but she's your daughter and you have the right to ask for any photos to be removed.

EarnestDullard · 26/08/2012 10:54

I don't have a problem with photos of my DD on FB, as long as the privacy settings are such that only friends can see them. But I'd say it's up to you where you want photos of your DD, so if you're not keen, it should be your decision. Seems a bit of an overreaction of your sister to defriend you, assuming you asked politely.

GlassofRose · 26/08/2012 10:55

I always post pictures of my godchildren or little cousins when I've taken them out for the day and tag their parents in them. It's just a nice quick easy way of sharing photos. Unless it's a pic of a child in the bath etc like someone else mentioned and your sister has settings that only allows friends to see what's the problem?

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 26/08/2012 10:56

Could you just not untag her? I think YABU. Can't escape the Internet unless you live in a cave, you can only manage it sensibly. Sounds like you are being a bit precious about it IMO

McHappyPants2012 · 26/08/2012 10:56

Yanbu, if you don't want your dd photos online as a parent you have the right.

honeytea · 26/08/2012 10:56

i think personally yabu in having a problem with a photo of your child on facebook, I really don't think anything bad can happen from one photo.

I also think your sis is bu for unfriending you.

If you trust your sis to look after your child you should trust her judgement about internet safety.

PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 10:56

Was it the way you asked her which resulted in the unfriending?

Personally i don't see the big deal but your choice of course.

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 10:57

As an aside, I am sooooo glad that there was no FB when my dd was born. I unsubscribe (would never unfriend, too soft!) from all the parents who CONSTANTLY post pics of their offspring.

Original poster
HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:58

Sorry a couple of things...

My sister UNFRIENDED me, not the other way, after I asked her to remove the pics.

I had previously asked the whole family to not post pictures of DD on Facebook

Feels bad not to be understood by the ones you love :(

OP posts:
PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 10:58

Which bit is "really upsetting"? The fact that she put the photo up or the fact she unfriended you?

PrimrosePath · 26/08/2012 10:59

I think you are perfectly entitled to ask her to take the photos down without her getting huffy. Does she have children? If not she may not understand.

Unless you were rude when you asked, I can't see her problem.

Original poster
HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:59

The fact that she unfriended me

OP posts:
PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 10:59

How did you ask her?

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 26/08/2012 11:00

What do you think will happen with a photo?

FWIW I never post pictures of my children however they are now old enough to have FBs of their own - and their walls are littered with pictures.

As it happens, I never post pictures of people at all.

Original poster
HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 11:00

No, I think I was polite, and even told her I was OK with the ones DD's face was not recognisable...

OP posts:
dollywashers · 26/08/2012 11:03

If u had asked her previously not to post them then yanbu. You're the parent and you decide.

GlassofRose · 26/08/2012 11:03

Happyhippie

It's perfectly acceptable for you to not want pictures of your child on the internet, but could I just ask why out of curiosity?

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 11:03

People need to understand how FB works before they start saying 'one little picture won't do any harm'. When you post a pic on FB, you are relinquishing your right to that photo. Facebook 'owns' it, and they will do forever, it's in the t&cs. Even when you deactivate, that photo stays on FB's servers forever and ever. Some people feel comfortable with that, I don't and I completely understand why other people wouldn't.

parachutesarefab · 26/08/2012 11:04

YANBU. I would never post a picture of a child without asking their parents first.

CanoeSlalom · 26/08/2012 11:04

YANBU at all. Your family, your decision. Your sister should definitely respect your wishes without any fuss. Ridiculous that she's even unfriended you, how petty!

PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 11:04

Bit strange she unfriended you then. You don't think she did it by accident? Is she the type to get stroppy?

Why don't you want pictures of your child on there anyway? Not that it matters that much because its your child so your choice.