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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pictures of children on Facebook?

223 replies

HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:47

This is very upsetting. DD (5) spent the whole day with my sister yesterday, and this morning she posted a picture of her on Facebook. I asked my sister to remove it and she said she's done so, but she unfriended me as well. AIBU? :(

OP posts:
ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:25

You said on the beach not on FB

MrMiyagi · 26/08/2012 15:26

The "kids photos on facebook" thing always make me think of Gary Lineker in this (20 seconds in)

OneMoreChap · 26/08/2012 15:28

ifiwasarichwoman Sun 26-Aug-12 15:16:35
should an adult walking on the beach on his or her own avert the gaze, walk away or stay there letting everyone think he or she is a weirdo?

Or they could just see innocent children at play and do neither?

Don't joke. I've had a woman running across the park screaming at me to keep away from her kid. I looked round to see who was approaching, realised it was me she meant and let her approach me screaming.

When she arrived I politely asked her to stop shouting as she was upsetting my son who was in the wee house/climbing frame. She had the grace to apologise, but we are stupidly over risk-conscious of "filthy pedes", and overly careless about teaching kids to - for example - cross roads safely.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:28

should an adult walking on the beach on his or her own avert the gaze, walk away or stay there letting everyone think he or she is a weirdo?

There is nothing "boundryless* about letting children be children on the beach - sand in a nappy gives my youngest dreadful rashes - perhaps I shouldn't take her at all.

Over sexualisation of children is a massive issue these days - and it starts with this.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:31

OMC I wasnt joking - I am well aware there are adults with issue around naked children - they fail to see those are their own issues.

A pedophile is far more like to be found in your own home/social circle sadly - and they dont actually care what a child is wearing.

MrMiyagi · 26/08/2012 15:35

"Tattyhead78 Sun 26-Aug-12 15:06:37
bathtime photos were probably fine 30 years ago but not today and not being viewed by people who don't have children."

Not even sure where to begin to reply to this level of ignorance

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:36

ifiwasarichwoman, same difference, isn't it? Just wear some effing clothes on the beach, it's Britain, not the Caribbean! Nakedness for anyone has its place, like in the bath or the sauna (and maybe bed if it's hot), and they should be papparazzi-free zones.

honeytea · 26/08/2012 15:39

I think it's a bit irresponsible to let your children run round on the beach without clothes on and I think it puts adults on their own in an awkward position - should an adult walking on the beach on his or her own avert the gaze, walk away or stay there letting everyone think he or she is a weirdo?

It's so sad that in some parts of the world it has come to this. Where I live (Sweden) more than half of the kids are naked at the beach, even older kids up to the age of 8/9. Stockholm has amazingly clean water so you can swim at the city beaches, I was there last week with a dressed English child. Most of the kids were naked, there was a mixture of families, business people on their lunch breaks, couples, teanagers topless sunbathing. everyone was just getting on with things, no one was looking at the business man in his 40's eating his lunch because he might be perving on the kids. I know this is off topic, but the general paranoia is in my opinion more damaging to kids than just carrying on with life and keeping kids safe but not to the point of limiting innocent things like being naked as a child on the beach or posting a pic of a child at the park.

StaceeJaxx · 26/08/2012 15:39

YANBU. I don't like photos of my dds on FB either. My family know this though and don't post photos of them. I figure when they're old enough to use FB themselves, they can decide then if they want their photos on there.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:46

tatty I am not going to teach my children that their tiny bodies are something to be ashamed of to satisy the very odd views of people like you.

They start dressed - they tend to strip themselves.

They naturally grow more private as they grown up - a bit of sunshine on their skin is good for them - and god knows we get little enough of it.

These are your problems and your issues and the rest of the world doesn't have to conform to suit you.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:47

Naked in bed if it's hot - that says it all.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:47

MrMiyagi, that's not my view, my view is that I'm not sure it ever was okay at all and until these things are clear cut - which they never will be because these things are all to do with motive - I'm not sure I want to be associated with photos of dubious legality on FB. I know that many children are abused by family members but, like I say, I don't think, as an adult without any children, most normal parents would think it appropriate for me to see bathtime photos of their children and for those parents that do, well, fine, whatever, but please don't put me in a difficult position. It's my country too and I think you will find that most childless or child-free adults feel the same about this issue, i.e., we are automatically under suspicion (as many of you have said, probably without any grounds at all - and for which the Sun, Daily Mail et al. are primarily responsible).

My point is that because these photos came up in my newsfeed I feel I've done something wrong. Have I? You all seem to be confirming that I have.

Flame away.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

PenisVanLesbian · 26/08/2012 15:50

If you see a picture of a small child who is naked, or in real life, and immediately start thinking of pervs and peados and wondering where to look, you are a bit of a weirdo.
They are innocent, happy photos. It's you putting a disgusting slant on it. Hmm

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:59

I says tatty that you have an issue with nakedness in general and that your issues extend to obscure views of innocence.

Your views are prudish at best, damaging at worse and tone honest you are coming across now as slightly unhinged.

Are you not capable it taking part in a rational debate without dropping to obscenities?

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 16:10

Are you not capable it taking part in a rational debate without dropping to obscenities?

Clearly not.

you are coming across now as slightly unhinged

I will make sure to take an extra dose of Levonelle then.

Socknickingpixie · 26/08/2012 16:17

regarding using a photo for a campagin.

some years ago (about 18) i had a family snap(me my dc and my gran) taken without mine or the photographers consent used for a poster to advertise a service that i personally feel is shocking (think f4j type thing) this poster was displayed in every social services/gp/probation/health visiters office and library as well as many other places in the county i live in.
as a direct result of that photo i was physicly attacked in the street, my car had paint thrown over it twice and on many occasions i was verbally abused,i was humiliated almost on a daily basis for over a year.i was percived to be a supporter of this organisation. and there was nothing i could do about it.

if you take pictures on the street whilst yes you may have the legal right to do so,you take a huge risk by doing so, i know if a random photographer was on the st and obviously took a photo of me or my dc's i would be very unimpressed and im not sure i would be bothered about any legal recourse they would have against me as a result of a smashed up camera.

as to the fb thing i make it very very clear that i do not wish to have photos of my dc's posted,and should anybody do so they will cease to have access to my dc's or i will make damn sure they are not in a possition to take photos.obviously i have no control about what the other parent does. if i take a photo of another person i would make sure they knew i was taking the photo if its a dc i would not take one without the parents consent.

its different if you post it on fb and you know the parents wouldnt object or you didnt know but they ask you to remove it and you do.but if you post one knowing the person in it or the parent of the person in it would object then thats just not on.

fb used to ask if you had the permision of the subject matter for you to upload a pic do they still do this?

captainhastings · 26/08/2012 16:19

I sleep naked every night, I am clearly one sick twisted bitch.

Socknickingpixie · 26/08/2012 16:24

tatty why on earth does being unhinged require you to take an extra dose of the contraceptive pill?

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 16:28

Socknickingpixie, just to make damn sure I don't have children and inflict my "issues" on them.

Empusa · 26/08/2012 16:33

"some years ago (about 18) i had a family snap(me my dc and my gran) taken without mine or the photographers consent [...] if you take pictures on the street whilst yes you may have the legal right to do so,you take a huge risk by doing so"

But it was not the photographer to blame if they didn't give consent.

Socknickingpixie · 26/08/2012 16:34

Grin ohhhh i see, well lots of unhinged people have them so i expect you shall be fine.

curiousgeorgie · 26/08/2012 16:39

I really don't understand people's problem with pictures of Facebook.

Presumably you take them out into the world and people see them?

Very confusing and precious.

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 16:39

Well this has went a bit off topic...don't any of you have anything better to do on a Bank Holiday Sunday?

WelshMaenad · 26/08/2012 16:46

My two year old is currently sitting buck naked in the windowsill flashing his little penis at passersby. I had not stopped to think snout how TRAUMATIC they might find this.