Pictures of children on Facebook?

[HappyHippie]

This is very upsetting. DD (5) spent the whole day with my sister yesterday, and this morning she posted a picture of her on Facebook. I asked my sister to remove it and she said she's done so, but she unfriended me as well. AIBU? :(

i use fb specifically to share photos with relatives, but don't tag, and don't post pictures of other people's children unless they do this themselves. i think that's polite.

i also don't think that pictures of my children, even though they are clearly the Most Amazing Children Ever, are of any interest to anybody else (apart from the seemingly interested relatives in question) and therefore see no need to be particularly precious about them.

The only way to keep pictures of your children off fb is to keep them at home and not let them have a social life.
what a crock of shit.

I really hope facebook disappears.
^this...

Anyone who says they know everyone on their FB friends list inside out is a liar.

Wow that's a massive sweeping statement! Im sure there are plenty of people who just have their closest family on there.

YANBU. If you don't want photos of your child on Facebook, then you don't. Your sister should respect that.
It's different to a random child in a newspaper. In a public place where there are hundreds of security cameras, there is implied constant wrt photos, someone specific posting a picture of a therefore easily identifiable child is a whole different thing.
I don't mind pictures of my DD being on Facebook, but you have every right to object.

Mimi. You are so extreme! You don't like Facebook, fine, don't use it. But it shouldn't have to disappear just because you don't like it!

Did you thank your sister for giving you the day off before you told her off about the pictures? Maybe she thinks you're ungrateful.

You're both overreacting.

I do see a bit of a problem with her deleting you...
What it means is she can post as many pictures of your daughter without you knowing.
...So you need to sort this with your sister and explain why she's being completely unreasonable in reacting by deleting you and why you don't want pictures.

Read again, I said I really hope and I was quoting another user. Anyone who understands Facebook and the way it operates would think twice about using it. Why do you think it's free? Email is free, why not share that way, completely privately! It's simply a marketing tool aimed at the drones, who have inflated ideas about how important their lives are and feel that EVERYONE should know. It's dull and self indulgent but some very clever marketing people have tapped into an opportunity and everyone is sucking it up like brainless morons. Have a look around the rest of the net (yes, there are more websites than FB and MN) and there is a wealth of criticism about how FB operates. Fat cats getting rich off the back of FB shares whilst the little people keep it afloat by logging in all day every day. It's poisonous.

The only way to keep pictures of your children off fb is to keep them at home and not let them have a social life.
what a crock of shit.

You can live in your little bubble world where it's something you think you can control - but I guarantee you can't.

As soon as they enter the world of having a social life - someone somewhere will have a picture of them on Facebook.

I'd rather live in the real world.

Oh my god! Its a conspiracy! They're out to get us! Its like invasion of the body snatchers! Run for the hills, run run ruuuuuuunnn!!!!!

It's easy enough to just send photos as email attachments to your friends and family. Yes you need to know how to reduce the file size and attach them but then that's it. Alternatively use Picturetrail or similar. Facebook wants you to think you need it, but you don't :)

Telephone or visit your sister and tell her you are very upset she unfriended you.

hmm, lets educate ourselves on a page by "the anti facebook league of intelligentsia".
Or we could bash our heads off the nearest brick wall, much the same effect.

Sorry to hijack OP, but there are strange interpretations of FB's terms of service on here.

Direct quotes from the ToS
"You own all of the content and information you post on Facebook, and you can control how it is shared through your privacy and application settings. In addition:"

Sounds fairly clear to me.

"For content that is covered by intellectual property rights, like photos and videos (IP content), you specifically give us the following permission, subject to your privacy and application settings: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook (IP License). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it."

The point of this bit is that you are giving them the right to use the pictures on their site. Not in advertising etc, just the ability to make the photos display on their site.

In addition they revoke their right to do this as soon as you delete your photos (unless shared by others).

"When you delete IP content, it is deleted in a manner similar to emptying the recycle bin on a computer. However, you understand that removed content may persist in backup copies for a reasonable period of time (but will not be available to others)."

They have backups because they aren't mad. Anyone with any sense has regular backups of their website, just in case anything were to go wrong with the main server. Obviously once they run the next backup it will have updated to take account of any deletions.

Hope that clears that up.

PSML at "the anti facebook league of intelligentsia" - couldn't take the name of the page seriously, no hope for educating me there.

YANBU, I don't have any pics of dd on fb (well its me and her in the profile pic) and have told my family not to put any of her on either!

I don't have any children (yet) but I find it a bit shocking what parents do post on FB for the whole world to see and it has in the past made me feel extremely uncomfortable because something, once seen, cannot be unseen - I am not a perv but I can't help it if it comes up in my blinkin' newsfeed! In order to avoid having difficult conversations with some of my friends about what is or is not appropriate for them to be posting in relation to their own children (and for a variety of other reasons, e.g., I can't stop my friends posting "Happy Birthday" to be or wishing me a nice holiday, which is like giving an ID thief a present, or having dubious political views), I am no longer on FB. Even if you think your security settings are very good, the FB settings are quite complicated, e.g., friends of friends can see the pictures you didn't intend for them to see, and everything is so easily hacked (e-mails included, not just FB). FB isn't the only area where friends have surprised me with their lack of judgement though, but lack of judgement in real life is more easily forgotten...

I thought all you MNers considered yourselves part of the intelligentsia, you certainly all bang on all day about how you have the answers to everything

People need to understand how FB works before they start saying 'one little picture won't do any harm'. When you post a pic on FB, you are relinquishing your right to that photo. Facebook 'owns' it, and they will do forever, it's in the t&cs. Even when you deactivate, that photo stays on FB's servers forever and ever.

Are they allowed to use it in anyway, or does it just sit on the server? Two very different things there.
It's their property. They do whatever they want with it, now and in the future when technology has moved on and new things become possible. They can and do sell it to other companies who build up their own data on you.

Remember that FB is not a public service. Its only exists for one purpose - to gather valuable data about users by attracting them to use it

Already they (like Google) use tracking cookies to see what sites you visit and record them in the database they store about every user. Incidentally, that's how they know who you really are even if you have a FB account with a fake name.

Many popular web sites share with FB every time you log into them. Did you know MN does that? Depending which internet browser you use you will see the FB address flash up in the address bar when you come to sites like MN.

Going back to the pictures, you'll be aware that face recognition is well developed now and apps like Picasa use it to catalogue your pictures. As this technology gets better and FB builds up its lifetime store of your pictures, they will be able to do many things.

One use rumoured to be worked on is cameras in shops connected to FB's commercial partners, that will recognise you and greet you "Hi there PooPoo, thanks for coming into Supercrap today!", either on a screen or by texting your phone.

So don't be fooled into thinking that FB's privacy settings give you any real protection.

Good post Sallyingforth.

It's worth signing up to anti-tracking software if you don't want Facebook, Google etc. following your moves elsewhere on the internet.

Well said sallyingforth
The privacy issue grinds my gears but I also feel enraged sometimes that I'm not on Facebook and even when I'm out with friends it's always 'did you see that post on FB?', 'I added an event on FB, didn't you see it?' even posting photos while we're out and about! Put your effing phones away! It's poisoning society, and no, I'm not overreacting.

YABU and precious imo. tbh, if any of my friends/family acted like that re fb, i'd probably unfriend them also.