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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pictures of children on Facebook?

223 replies

HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:47

This is very upsetting. DD (5) spent the whole day with my sister yesterday, and this morning she posted a picture of her on Facebook. I asked my sister to remove it and she said she's done so, but she unfriended me as well. AIBU? :(

OP posts:
Vickles · 26/08/2012 14:39

Yes, YABU!
The rule we have, in our family and friends, and their family and friends is... If you are on Facebook, we can post pics of our kids.
If you don't like it, why are you on Facebook?
I don't blame your sister, sorry OP, I blame you for being too precious. Facebook is not for you.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 14:39

DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping, bathtime photos is exactly what I am talking about. No way do I want to see people's bathtime photos and I wouldn't have expected to see them in real life before FB either. It grosses me out, the child cannot consent.

NotGeoffVader · 26/08/2012 14:45

Please tell me that none of you have seen the 'naked facebook' thing?! Grin

BeanieStats · 26/08/2012 14:49

Ref model release. Studio work - absolutely yes. Be silly not to. Street work - hmm. Not convinced. Not always practical or achievable IME.

Model Release is really a legal nicety though - (bit like fully comp car insurance). It's certainly not as simple as saying "well you need one". It really does vary depending on the what, when and where.

And its worth pointing out that the model release is strictly a civil agreement regards business activities. It has no bearing on privacy issues.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 14:50

NotGeoffVader, unfortunately yes. Which annoyed me, because obviously it wasn't something I would choose to do. Like I said, I can't unsee it now. It came up in my newsfeed. Should I have reported it to FB?

Empusa · 26/08/2012 14:53

"BeanieStats, you are aware of how open you leave yourself to legal action for various reasons if you aren't using model release forms. "

Not necessarily true. It isn't a legal requirement, however stock libraries etc are likely to ask for one.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 14:56

I have bath time photos on mine - either just head shots or pictures where they are so covered in bubbles that you can't see anything.

Why are these any different to any other photos?? Is there something wrong with children enjoying the bath now?

Empusa · 26/08/2012 14:56

Info on "Street Right" wrt photography

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 26/08/2012 14:57

If the photo was used in a campaign for say, child abuse without a model disclaimer, you might have a problem on your hands. Yes its unlikely, but it is why model release forms exist. I'm aware they aren't always practical in public places, but it does still leave you open for problems if some does complain, if you are using the photos for commercial use. I know its not a legal requirement, but stock photography site use them for a reason...

Empusa · 26/08/2012 14:58

"If the photo was used in a campaign for say, child abuse without a model disclaimer, you might have a problem on your hands. Yes its unlikely, but it is why model release forms exist. I'm aware they aren't always practical in public places, but it does still leave you open for problems if some does complain, if you are using the photos for commercial use. I know its not a legal requirement, but stock photography site use them for a reason..."

If it is used in a campaign then it would be the people who chose a picture without a model release rather than the photographer who would be in trouble.

Empusa · 26/08/2012 14:59

Oh and stock libraries ask for them in order to appeal to companies who want to use the images for advertising/campaigning.

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 26/08/2012 15:03

If it is used in a campaign then it would be the people who chose a picture without a model release rather than the photographer who would be in trouble.

Precisely. Its the photographers responsibility to make sure that the issue of the photo is acceptable to the subject of the photo or their parent or guardian...

In other words, ask before uploading.

honeytea · 26/08/2012 15:04

If the photo was used in a campaign for say, child abuse without a model disclaimer, you might have a problem on your hands

That would count as advertising so you wouldn't be able to use it without a model release form.

No way do I want to see people's bathtime photos and I wouldn't have expected to see them in real life before FB either. It grosses me out

I don't understand why bathtime photos are gross, surely you not wanting to see them says more about you than it does about the child/parent in the photo. Do you think it is gross to see naked kids at the beach?

honeytea · 26/08/2012 15:06

Precisely. Its the photographers responsibility to make sure that the issue of the photo is acceptable to the subject of the photo or their parent or guardian.

This is right when the image is being used in an advert but not when the image is used for editorial work or personal social networking/websites.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:06

ifiwasarichwoman, I had this discussion with my mum because I was so worried about it and thought I was overreacting. Her view was that bathtime photos were probably fine 30 years ago but not today and not being viewed by people who don't have children.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:11

I don't understand why bathtime photos are gross, surely you not wanting to see them says more about you than it does about the child/parent in the photo. Do you think it is gross to see naked kids at the beach?

I'm not sure what it says about me other than I wouldn't want to be seen to be associated with anyone breaking the law. I think it's a bit irresponsible to let your children run round on the beach without clothes on and I think it puts adults on their own in an awkward position - should an adult walking on the beach on his or her own avert the gaze, walk away or stay there letting everyone think he or she is a weirdo?

Empusa · 26/08/2012 15:12

"Precisely. Its the photographers responsibility to make sure that the issue of the photo is acceptable to the subject of the photo or their parent or guardian... "

Nope. It is the user of the photos responsibility to make sure the photo can be used. If it doesn't have a model release then they shouldn't use it. The photographer has no obligation to obtain a model release.They will sell it to more people with a model release, but that is it.

OneMoreChap · 26/08/2012 15:12

Tattyhead78 Sun 26-Aug-12 15:06:37
bathtime photos were probably fine 30 years ago but not today and not being viewed by people who don't have children.

Sounds like your mum isn't aware of the level of paedophilia/child abuse within families, tbh. Or how long it has gone on.

ravenAK · 26/08/2012 15:12

Beanie - my dc have been snapped by street photographers at events such as Whitby Gothic Weekend. I've no problem with them being part of the background, sort of thing, but if you were specifically photographing one of my dc I'd probably ask for the photo to be deleted.

I don't want their images being a) used for commercial purposes or b) ending up in someone's private collection - not paedo paranoia, I just think it's a bit odd & creepy.

On one occasion a 'tog basically told me to fuck off. I thought he was a knob. Very much doubt the photo was an irreplaceable work of art...

I don't think the OP was BU - I personally don't worry about friends & family putting pictures of my dc on FB (& I do it myself), but I have a SIL who has bloody good reason not to want her dc's whereabouts visible or knowable to her psycho ex, for example.

Perfectly OK for OP to politely ask her sister to delete the photos, whatever the reason, & a bit of a mad overreaction for sister to defriend her.

FanjoPingpong · 26/08/2012 15:14

I went on a group holiday with someone, and after the fact she sent an email round asking that her image was removed from any photos we posted online. Very easy to do, no problems. Didn't ask her why, because it's her business.

I'm with you, OP. If someone says they don't want their image or their child's image online, then don't do it.

Empusa · 26/08/2012 15:14

"I've no problem with them being part of the background, sort of thing, but if you were specifically photographing one of my dc I'd probably ask for the photo to be deleted."

They have no obligation to delete it, but it is bad manners and quite unprofessional.

mummytime · 26/08/2012 15:15

YANBU I hate seeing pictures of kids on Facebook, and even more when it is mine without permission from either me or them. Pictures on my page at least I know my security settings.
I have to admit I did decide to ignore when my neice put a Wedding photo which included my kids (untagged) on her page. But I wasn't happy.

You need to explain to your sister how you feel. My biggest concern is that once something is on the net you can never be sure if it's ever gone, or who else has it.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 15:16

should an adult walking on the beach on his or her own avert the gaze, walk away or stay there letting everyone think he or she is a weirdo?

Or they could just see innocent children at play and do neither?

ravenAK · 26/08/2012 15:20

Indeed Empusa - there's been some strong words exchanged between goths & nuisance togs, both IRL & keyboard warrioring, & the consensus seems to be that it's perfectly legal for them to snap away & do what they like with the images.

These days lots of us just stay in the pub Grin.

Tattyhead78 · 26/08/2012 15:24

Or they could just see innocent children at play and do neither?

Look, just because I don't feel comfortable looking at naked photos on FB doesn't make me the weirdo FFS.

I knew I'd get flamed for this. The problem is people who don't have boundaries and aren't able to recognise their children as separate beings.

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