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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pictures of children on Facebook?

223 replies

HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 10:47

This is very upsetting. DD (5) spent the whole day with my sister yesterday, and this morning she posted a picture of her on Facebook. I asked my sister to remove it and she said she's done so, but she unfriended me as well. AIBU? :(

OP posts:
CanoeSlalom · 26/08/2012 11:05

minikimmi that's one of the many reasons I can't stand Facebook.

No-one needs Facebook to stay in touch with their family and friends - that's what email, phones and visiting are for.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 26/08/2012 11:05

It's perfectly acceptable for you to not want pictures of your child on the internet

You can ask, but its the photographers intellectual copyright. News papers are plastered with pictures of children in parks or on beaches sucking ice creams when there's a heat wave. Some time it says "Little Johnny from Brighton" indicating the parents were agreeable but more often is says "young child enjoying the weather" sort of caption, indicating it's a random snap.

PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 11:06

People need to understand how FB works before they start saying 'one little picture won't do any harm'. When you post a pic on FB, you are relinquishing your right to that photo. Facebook 'owns' it, and they will do forever, it's in the t&cs. Even when you deactivate, that photo stays on FB's servers forever and ever.

Are they allowed to use it in anyway, or does it just sit on the server? Two very different things there.

BlackberryIce · 26/08/2012 11:06

Thing us, you now have no idea of how many pics if your dd she has put up!

MyDogShitsMoney · 26/08/2012 11:06

In the kindest possible way YAbothBU and a little melodramatic.

Are you generally a high-drama family ?

No offense meant but the reactions on both sides seem a little ott to me.

Of course you have every right to not have pictures of your DD on FB but the whole thing just seems to have blown a little out of proportion.

DuelingFanjo · 26/08/2012 11:07

you're both taking Facebook far too seriously.

PenisVanLesbian · 26/08/2012 11:07

you know people can see your dd's face all the time, in real life? Its not a sacred image.

GlassofRose · 26/08/2012 11:09

Jumping - That's exactly what I was thinking.

Original poster
HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 11:10

Glass of Rose, I don't want pictures of her on Facebook or any other social network because I don't want strangers seeing or commenting pictures of her. Also, the moment you upload a picture to one of these sites anyone can download it and do with it what they want (re-upload it, distort the image, photoshop it...), and there is no way facebook can do anything after that. I think children should be entitled to privacy and then she can decided whether she wants her pictures there when she's old enough.

OP posts:
minikimmi · 26/08/2012 11:11

The point is, would any of you hand over all your old printed photos in a bag to a stranger, never knowing what they could be used for, who was looking at them etc, I suspect no. No idea why people think Facebook is any different. I fucking hate Facebook. Also, privacy settings are BOLLOCKS, I for one know for a fact when I used FB, yes there were people I knew but did I really know them?

lunar1 · 26/08/2012 11:11

YANBU, I dont put any pictures on there. My friend has over 1000 pic's of her boys on her page, including of them sat on the toilet Shock

bunnywhack · 26/08/2012 11:11

I won't have pics of my dc's online people can photoshop them into all sorts of situations and i know of at least two situations where there have been trolls on parenting sites where people take the photos and pretend they are their children. I also dont like that a simple cut and paste will allow people to have photos of your children on their hard drives. It's a personal choice if your comfortable that's fine but i'm not. Op I think YWNBU have you tried asking why she unfriended?

threesocksmorgan · 26/08/2012 11:11

her reaction was ott
A lot of people don't want pics of their kids on fb, it is rude to then post them,

GlassofRose · 26/08/2012 11:14

minikimi - That's simple then, be "friends" with people who are actually your friends and not just acquaintances.

Original poster
HappyHippie · 26/08/2012 11:14

Also, recently on Facebook, there's this really creepy thing where you like someone else's pictures and then the photo you've like appears on your friends' feed... have you noticed?

OP posts:
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 26/08/2012 11:15

I am always surprised when people upload photos of my children without asking.
But I am quite old.
I dont worry about peados though. They will get photos at the park if they really want them
I expect your sister was a bit shocked and hurt. People can be very defensive when challenged.

No one is allowed to put photos of my ds2 up and I will ask them to take them off if they do. People can get a bit shirty.

GlassofRose · 26/08/2012 11:17

Hippie - You can control what other people see on Facebook, you can even block an individual or two from seeing certain photos. Strangers do not have access to your photos unless your settings allow them to.

IShallCallYouSquishy · 26/08/2012 11:17

YANBU

I would be very annoyed if someone put a pic of my DD on Facebook without asking me first. I have put less then 10 on there myself and luckily all my family and friends haven't put any on. I think un-friending you is a major over reaction. You have every right to ask for a picture of your child that was posted without your permission to be taken off!

Gilberte · 26/08/2012 11:17

YANBU

If people want to put photos of their children on facebook that's their choice.
I choose not to do this as I don't like having photos of me on there so I certainly wouldn't want to put other people's on there without their permission (and that includes my DCs).

PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 11:18

I don't want pictures of her on Facebook or any other social network because I don't want strangers seeing or commenting pictures of her. Also, the moment you upload a picture to one of these sites anyone can download it and do with it what they want (re-upload it, distort the image, photoshop it...), and there is no way facebook can do anything after that.

But if you put them up yourself and have privacy settings so only your close friends can see them, then that shouldn't be an issue should it?

Obviously this doesn't apply if your sister puts them up.

PooPooOnMars · 26/08/2012 11:21

I for one know for a fact when I used FB, yes there were people I knew but did I really know them?

So why have them as a friend then?

minikimmi · 26/08/2012 11:22

minikimi - That's simple then, be "friends" with people who are actually your friends and not just acquaintances
What you mean, like real life? The fact of the matter is everyone I know has people on FB who they are not particularly close with. It happens. You can't personally vet everyone who is a FB 'friend'. Just because I add a work colleague who I may have a reasonably good working relationship with doesn't mean I know every little detail of their life. Anyone who says they know everyone on their FB friends list inside out is a liar.

PenisVanLesbian · 26/08/2012 11:25

just because you don't know how to use facebook properly doesn't mean its evil.

ifiwasarichwoman · 26/08/2012 11:27

The only way to keep pictures of your children off fb is to keep them at home and not let them have a social life.

FushiaFernica · 26/08/2012 11:27

I really hope facebook disappears.

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