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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have sex when on a period

252 replies

NoSex · 13/08/2012 19:54

My dh will not have sex with me when i am on a period, I respect that it make him feel grossed out, but I am on for 5-7 days which is IMO a long time with out sex :(

Aibu to think a grown man should not be freaked out by a bit of blood

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 13/08/2012 19:55

Depends how heavy the period is IMO

JumpingThroughHoops · 13/08/2012 19:55

I agree, DH however would agree with your DH

ChunkysMum · 13/08/2012 19:58

I do.

Put a tampon in shortly before and then whip it out just before (I would usually do this while giving DH oral sex, for which he usually has his eyes shut so wouldn't notice and then climb on top). This makes very minimal, if any, mess and I have heavy periods.

GhostShip · 13/08/2012 19:59

'a true man is not afraid to get blood on his sword'

I read that once haha ^

I've had sex whilst on. We don't now but we do do other things, I'll be wearing a tampax though, just fondles and stuff.

What gets me though, a lot of men who think its horrible would gladly have anal sex! Blood or poo... Blood or poo.... Mmmm...

SoleSource · 13/08/2012 20:00

Mind it.

PeppermintLatte · 13/08/2012 20:00

yabu, it's gross and a bit un-natural IMO.

ChunkysMum · 13/08/2012 20:02

You can also have oral sex if you have recently put a tampon in, without your DH ending up looking like a canibal from a horror movie.

Why 'un-natural'?

startwig1982 · 13/08/2012 20:03

I don't really like it but have done a few times. We normally resort to other things rather than full blown sex Wink

Malificence · 13/08/2012 20:06

So womens' periods are gross and unnatural are they? Hmm
Doesn't phase DH, in fact I think the very first time we had sex, I was on my period, some 30 years ago.

charade · 13/08/2012 20:07

I have a day or 2 some months when I won't because of cramping. DP (who is a man) has never been freaked out by blood but I had a g/f years ago who wouldn't have sex when either of us had our period and as our cycles weren't synced it could be a fortnight without sex. It used to make me feel like I was making unreasonable demands. Thats not the only reason we broke up.

OhNoMyFoot · 13/08/2012 20:08

Dh doesn't care but I'm not that keen normally.

FiveMonths · 13/08/2012 20:12

I don't like the suggestion that a 'grown man' shouldn't be freaked out by a bit of blood - I think that's really short sighted and a bit silly. Why shouldn't he find it uncomfortable to see or experience someone's blood, if that's naturally how he is, then I think you really ought to respect it.

It is harmless of course but as a woman I find sex during my period both uncomfortable physically and unpleasant to deal with, and to see - so I don't understand why he 'ought' to be willing to do it. Sex should be a voluntary thing and not make either of you uncomfortable in any way if possible.

I don't think you're being very fair - although if you are finding your sexual needs and priorities incompatible it might feel very unfair on you.

I'd suggest a talk and try to reach a compromise. I haven't had sex during a period for many years now but according to the NHS I conceived during my last one, so don't think it's safe not to use contraception either - just a footnote really.

Krumbum · 13/08/2012 20:12

My vulva is very sore the first few days I'm on.
But after that we often do oral sex and hand stuff with me with my moon cup in.
We very occasionally have piv sex when im on, it's fine. Dp just worries about hurting me as I can be more sensitive but other than that it's all good :)

Krumbum · 13/08/2012 20:15

If he doesn't want penetrative sex then how's about doing hand and oral?

milkymocha · 13/08/2012 20:15

No and never have!

eurochick · 13/08/2012 20:16

I have done but my husband isn't that keen and I am not bothered as for the days f heavy flow I feel like I am being stabbed, so sex is the last thing on my mind and after that I tend to get the brown icky "slow" bleeding that I am not that keen on sharing.

squeakytoy · 13/08/2012 20:17

is it really so difficult to go a few days without a shag??? Confused

Original poster
NoSex · 13/08/2012 20:19

My husband has had a vasectomy so highly unlikely to get pregnant.

I respect that he doesn't want sex that time of the month, or anything else ( apart from hugs and kisses)

OP posts:
purplepansy · 13/08/2012 20:20

No. Not for any squeamishness reasons, but I really really can't be arsed to have to wash blood off the sheets. I am such a lazy, slovenly cow.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 13/08/2012 20:20

I'm with fivemonths It is harmless of course but as a woman I find sex during my period both uncomfortable physically and unpleasant to deal with, and to see - so I don't understand why he 'ought' to be willing to do it. Sex should be a voluntary thing and not make either of you uncomfortable in any way if possible.

MamaBear17 · 13/08/2012 20:21

Its obviously down to personal choice but I can understand where your dh is coming from. I don't think I would want to because my periods are painful and I'm all bloaty.

cupcake78 · 13/08/2012 20:23

Have done but tend not to until the last few days. Each to their own.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 13/08/2012 20:23

I don't want to, he doesn't want to.

It would be unpleasant and messy as far as I'm concerned. Everyone is different and I certainly don't see DP as 'less than a man' because he doesn't want menstrual blood on himself. I don't enjoy cleaning myself up during my period so why should he?

NumericalMum · 13/08/2012 20:23

5-7 days without sex is a long time? Confused Shock

chinley · 13/08/2012 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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