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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you have sex when on a period

252 replies

NoSex · 13/08/2012 19:54

My dh will not have sex with me when i am on a period, I respect that it make him feel grossed out, but I am on for 5-7 days which is IMO a long time with out sex :(

Aibu to think a grown man should not be freaked out by a bit of blood

OP posts:
wankpants · 14/08/2012 15:53

It ain't blood alone that comes out of there. I wouldn't bloody drink it. When the old juices are flowing aunty flow gets everywhere so it's quite likely he won't get away with it.

I interpret the OP as thinking her DH should "grow up" about the period thing. I think she should "grow up" about going 7 days without and have some respect for H's wishes - that's the issue not the fact she wants it constantly.

Apologies if this is wrong OP.

floranora · 14/08/2012 16:00

i have a male friend who loves to give oral sex to his female partner when she is on her period! Confused !
he says he likes the smell?! I dont mind sex when on, but oral??!! boak!

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:01

I don't think it's about growing up but I do think it'd be good if more men were less squeamish about periods. All the euphemistic language around them, advertising using blue liquid and telling you how to be 'discreet', the fact that boys don't get told about periods in sex ed. it all means they don't understand it.
If you don't want to have penetrative sex there's always other things. If you have internal sanitary protection in I can't see why anyone would be opposed to giving some clitoral action!

BadLad · 14/08/2012 16:01

I will happily have sex as normal with wifey during time of the month. It's not often that she wants to - a couple of times a year, but it does happen. I don't much enjoy wiping the blood off BadLad junior afterwards, but the actual sex doesn't freak me out at all.

And neither does giving her oral when she's on.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 16:04

the fact that boys don't get told about periods in sex ed. it all means they don't understand it

Where? Why? Confused

They certainly do in my DS's school.

PuffPants · 14/08/2012 16:06

Noooooooooooooooo

That is gross.

Also, nobody should be pressured into doing anything they don't like in the bedroom. Get yourself a vibrator and leave the poor man alone - he is really not being unreasonable or unusual in this.

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 16:09

men, they just want to send us to the red tent really and shag farm animals instead but I may be confusing this with the work of fiction and not factual historical reference. Who knows

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:09

Maybe it's changed then! When I was at school they separated us and told the girls about their puberty and boys about theirs. Those boys are now adults having sex.
Maybe when kids now become adults there will be less squeamishness! Grin

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 16:10

my sons know about periods and they are only young. Some people seem a bit shocked with this but we all live in the same house and I don't understand how sons don't realise about periods earlier but we only have one toilet and the door doesn't have a lock on

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 16:12

I don't know. I think there are lots of people both male and female who will always be squeamish about other people's blood.

It doesn't affect me but I know a lot of people who take one look at the red stuff and want to pass out.

anditwasallyellow · 14/08/2012 16:15

That's how it was when I was at school krumbum. And totally agree with your post btw. On parr with men being too embarrassed to go and buy sanitary product imo. So glad my bf is mature enough to see past this and not find my periods disgusting.

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 16:16

Eeeew, no! And I cant believe that so many people on here do!

When DH and I were first going out and shagging all the time I used to specifically don my pyjamas for going to bed when I was on my period. DH (DP back then) used to refer to it as my 'period costume'.

Also, I cant help thinking that if the OP had been a man moaning that his wife didnt want to do it during her period, they would have been crucified on this thread!

BadLad · 14/08/2012 16:16

There weren't any girls at my school, so in the sorry excuse for sex education classes, periods weren't mentioned. I had no idea how long they lasted, having no female relatives within fifteen years of my age to ask about it.

In fact, I didn't really know what they were until I got a girlfriend in my late teens and she started her period one morning. She wasn't very impressed when I expressed surprise that evening that it hadn't cleared up yet.

It's good that boys are now being taught about them if that is indeed happening.

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 16:19

I don't understand how boys who live with other females don't know though. The blood down the toilet, sanitary protection in the bathroom, bloody knickers soaking in buckets, santitary rubbish in the bathroom bin etc.

or are most boys oblivious? My sons ask loads of questions and I just tell them. they have a sister as well though who isn't very discrete as she has severe SN

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 16:20

I don't really have any bloody knickers soaking in buckets Wink but when i was growing up protection wasn't as good as it was today and it would be a normal sight in our utility room!

ImpatientOne · 14/08/2012 16:21

I agree BadLad my DH and brother were not taught anything about periods in school.

My DM gave my brother a book she bought me about periods to read and used to ask me to leave my teenage magazines around the place so I know he had some info!

My DH knew even less and still asks questions that seem so obvious but I guess not to him!

anditwasallyellow · 14/08/2012 16:21

doublevodka I think the difference is women might be feeling ill on her periods so not want to have sex. The only reason for a man not wanting to is being grossed out by her bleeding. Which I do think is a little sad especially considering the mess we end up in I mean imagine if we were grossed out by sperm touching our precious vaginas?

anditwasallyellow · 14/08/2012 16:23

Actually I find this whole thread a bit sad it comes across as very 'oh aren't we women gross and stinky when we bleed', we couldn't possibly be sexy at the same time.

You're all prudes Wink

BadLad · 14/08/2012 16:24

I now live with two women who are still having periods and have never seen any of that evidence, OwlLady. Have no idea when my sister-in-law, who lives with us, has her periods.

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 16:26

maybe I am not very discrete then Confused :o i know my daughter isn't discrete but she can't really help it

Binkyridesagain · 14/08/2012 16:26

Our puberty education was girls taught girls stuff, boys taught boys. When he was at home periods where a big secret that he dudn't need to know about, however he hasn't grown up to squeamish and uneducated and intact has spent most if his working life dealing with what you flush away.
He still does not want be covered in a blood bath, worrying about him getting the angle wrong and leaving me in agony or having to strip the bed before we sleep, neither of us want sex of any variety when I am on my period, if he can't wait for a few days then he can use his hand or work out a way he can give himself a BJ

Spuddybean · 14/08/2012 16:28

My DP doesn't like PIV when i'm on my period. I don't mind - just not the 2 heavy days tho (but i am not fussed by him not wanting to either).

We do have 'manual' tho and i am clean and have a tampon in so it makes no difference if i am on or not - even with oral.

I think 7 days without any sexual contact is quite a long time to go for us tho too.

bonkersLFDT20 · 14/08/2012 16:29

I do agree that a grown man really shouldn't be grossed out by a bit of blood, but this is a little more intimate than that. We're not talking about a cut finger.

I would respect a man who simply said they didn't enjoy sex at that time, but not because it was gross, just because it changes sex somewhat.

With us, it's usually me who isn't keen - especially the first couple of days, but DH is perfectly fine with it. We use a towel to lie on and just have a shower afterwards. It's great for relieving cramps and there's natural lubricant. Knowing you are at a lower risk of unplanned preg. is good as well.

ekupeg · 14/08/2012 16:29

No, I do not have sex on my period. However, bf does not miss out, as such, as there are other ways.

MakeHayNotStraw · 14/08/2012 16:30

DH doesn't like it much, I'm not overseen but right now, after a 3 week period (just started again after breastfeeding induced amenorrhea) I'm starting to see the appeal.....