To think that being the Politeness Police is fucking rude

[Himalaya]

Today i was coming out of DS's party venue, arms full of balloons, cake and other deritritus, brain running through whether all children were accounted for. Old bloke coming the other way opened the door and let me through, and as I passed said "Thank-you, you're welcome" in that snarky, patronising way people do to children who have forgotten their 'Ps and Qs'.

WTF?

I do normally say thankyous. But this time I was distracted. For all he knew maybe I wasn't just mildly shell-shocked after a kids birthday party, but had just heard my dog had been run over or something.

Of course I said "what? Er... Thanks" and he probably thought he'd made his point to the younger generation.

AIBU to think this kind of "thank-you vigilanteeism" is ruder than forgetting to say thankyou in the first place?

What smart answer should I have given?

I think you should just take it on the nose and remember to say thank you next time

How annoying! You should have replied 'Not at all' and given him a gracious smile.

you should have said thankyou.. simple manners cost nothing..

I don't blame you for being annoyed. IMO, if your going to do a favour for someone, don't expect thanks as a given plus completely understand the whole being preoccupied :).

Sorry I think you just need to suck it up.

What smart answer should you have given? An apology for forgetting your manners.

To be honest a smart answer isn't worth it in this scenario.

I'm with the old bloke.

He doesn't know that you would normally have said thank you. As you didn't he made the perfectly reasonable assumption that you were one of the people who doesn't.

Agree he was rude but, on this occasion, you weren't perfect yourself. Get over it.

He wasn't to know you were distracted, you did forget to say thanks.

I'd probably have said the same.

So why didn't you say thank you?

Someone holds door open for you, you walk through, making eye contact and smiling, and saying thank you.

No?

I think it comes down to tolerance, you won't find much empathy on here :(.

So you're bloody rude but it's everyone else's fault is it? Just so long as we know.........

You should have said thank you to him... So the 'smart' answer would have been, 'Gosh, sorry, I was so distracted I wasn't thinking - thank you very much'.

Basic manners are your please and thank you's

I've come out of therapy sessions crying and still remembered to say thank you to someone holding the door for me.

Maybe you should have apologised for not saying thanks.

Just sometimes, peoples minds are taken up with something more important...it's not the crime of the century.

The answer you should of given is 'sorry i forgot my manners, thank you for holding the door open for me'. How is he supposed to know you're having a bad day?

No one said it was crime of the century.

I don't see the part where the OP says she was arrested.

I'd say counting all kids are present is perhaps more pressing. Most people can only do one thing well at once...

We're such a nest of vipers EclecticShock

Oh that's BS Eclectic Shock. I'm a teacher, I've been out with groups of 25 kids and only me and another teacher, constantly counting, checking, answering questions, I still say thank you to people. It's automatic.

I'm with the old bloke on this. You were bloody rude!