To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

I can believe this is true.

I agree with your DH OP - I wouldn't want to go and associate with, or have my daughter around losers like this. I think weed is pernicious and have seen what effects it can have on family members. It is the view that smoking weed is 'normal' which means you can't be seen to argue against it without seeming like you are abnormally uptight. In my opinion it is not normal, and shouldn't be.

i know people who would do this.the too cool for school crew
i dont frequent those do's
its all a bit trying too hard to be achingly cool and liberal

People are much more in control smoking weed than even moderate drinking, and drinking is seen as acceptable. It doesn't make you unable to do anything, just a bit chilled. I think your imagining it does a lot more than it actually does. If there were an issue with kids then it could still be dealt with.
It definately wouldn't get busted that's ridiculous and how does it bing illegal effect the kids AT ALL?
I wouldn't choose to do this myself but I won't judge others.

I am another one who isn't quite sure what to make of this. IME, it's far more likely the parents would have been sneaking off in small groups for a cheeky spliff, rather than a large gang all smoking at the same time all afternoon long.

I don't think I would have stayed four hours, as nobody would have been on the same level and I can't imagine staying at any kids' party that long anyway, but I probably would have managed an hour in the same circumstances the OP describes, before making my excuses.

I don't see anything wrong in smoking weed by the way, but I don't think it should happen in front of children.

I think it's weird that people would want to get high or tipsy at a children's party if the children are young. Surely there'd be younger siblings to think of and supervise? However, I've been to enough parties with champagne on tap for the adults (and probably coke doing the rounds as well) to know that it's not uncommon for adults to let their hair down at a children's party.

Personally, I think having the odd toke of a joint with other adults at, say, an evening BBQ, with older children away from the immediate area who don't need a great deal of supervision is something that is fine with me. But getting stoned or hammered with children around doesn't really seem like a great idea IMO. If I want to let my hair down, I'll do it away from home and make sure that someone else is looking after the kids.

I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable hanging around with a load of people smoking weed, but wouldn't have stormed off or started yelling at them. As for second hand smoke, try living in London and not breathing in someone else's weed smoke as you walk down the street. I was in the park in Putney yesterday, in the children's play area, and a group of nice middle-class teenagers were on the grass next to the play area, passing a joint around and singing. No-one batted an eyelid. I've walked past people smoking a joint whilst taking DD to school (who smokes at 8am ?) So would have to move to Outer Mongolia or some such place to avoid cannabis smoke.

Honestly, this isn't something that I can get particularly worked up about.

I would not have stayed.

I am that people on here are trying to defend smoking weed as normal!! It certainly isnt normal in my social circle. As I said in a previous post the only person I know who smokes it regularly is bil and he is a twat! smokes and drives too but sil is happy because "at least he doesnt go to the pub every night"

krumbum,youre talking tosh
cannabis is a mood altering sedating and hallucinogenic drug
it effects mood,behavior,mental state

alcohol also affects judgement,behaviour,mood,mental state

dont kid yourself on a wee bit blow wont effect people
the point of taking a mood altering substance is the effects, thats generally why people do it

scottishmummy-usually think you talk a pile o shite but I agree with you 100% in that post! my bil is so addicted to weed that the first thing he does in the morning is roll a joint! he has tried in the past to come off it and ended up on anti-ds and sleeping tablets!!

All the people on here who see weed as no big deal-would you also be happy for your kids to take other illegal drugs?

I wouldn't have stayed.It's was no place for a child to be

Diddl you are right that because its common place for me, most of my closest friends and family share my attitude. But through work, discussions with other parents and friends of friends I do regularly meet people who don't approve of it and also its representation on Tv/Films often doesn't share my view. But the level of outrage, the disgust and how some people post on mn is something I have never encountered before and yes I did find it very surprising. I have heard people equate it to heroin, which I find absurd. So I do feel mn seems to represent, though some posters, an extreme end of the spectrum.

ruby-do you know anyone who has ended up on heroin who hasnt started out on weed?...

some mc blow users have notion that blow is ok. middleclass, chilled. whereas heroin for example is dirty underclass

that blow is sourced from a nefarious dealer,not a fair trade artisan
dont kid yourself on because yo think yre nice sort who like bit blow,that its a-ok and not a real drug

Also wanted to say I completely agree with FreckledLeopard its so common to see or more likely smell people smoking weed where I live (East London), especially on a sunny day. Maybe some posters don't recognise the smell? But it really does tend to be all around. I went to Bluewater the other week and the smell was so strong in John Lewis of all places! DH said he had passed the couple smoking it by the door when he had popped back to the car.

And the guy smoking at 8am is 'Waking and Baking', according to my BIL its the only way to live

Ishoes Of course, years back (showing my age) when the rave scene was quite big, amongst people I knew anyway, they were taking Ecstasy as their first drug other than cigarettes and alcohol. I know some of those people then descended into heroin addiction but it wasn't weed that started it off.

Although I understand for many people it is the 'gateway' drug, I think its important to recognise thats lots of people smoke weed without moving on to 'harder' drugs.

Personally I feel alcohol is a lot more dangerous but it is down to personal experience and opinion.

blow fans always use the had they invented alcohol know it'd be banned line
so
whats that got to do with fact blow is mood altering drug,best not served with pombears and cake at kids party

I would have yanked DS out of there the moment I spotted them sparking up. Cannabis has done terrible damage to my family and I wouldn't let my small son be in an environment where he might get the impression that it was ok to have a spliff with your friends.

Your DH is right. It doesn't matter if they're 4 or 14. Would those who think it's fine be okay if they found out their children were taking drugs?

scottishmummy I mentioned alcohol, so I'm not sure if you're talking to me or not, but for the record, whilst I see weed and alcohol as similar drugs, I'm not saying that I want either at a children's party.

Talking of which, I've been to children's party's where I've been encouraged to abandon my car and get a taxi home with the kids so that I can "have more than just one glass of wine". Not that I'd even have one if I was driving!

had i been specifically addressing you id have said so
but the oh its a bit of blow, and alcohol is way more harmful is a lame argument
and its oft touted

I think as the op wasnt stoned then she could watch he dc. It's probably a good idea to have someone not stoned there and there was.

haha a great piece advice
dont be stoned around your kid
nae shit sherlock

You really need to look long and hard at

1. Your circle of friends.
2. Your neighborhood (if these were classmates of your dd)

I agree with QuintessentialShadows.