to think that my Granny should stop signing her cards this way?

[ArrAitch]

I have always called my Dad's Mum 'Granny' and when my first son was born I just carried on calling her this. He calls her Granny too (he's two and a half), and I expect our second son will do the same (he's four and a half months). My Mum is Grandma, and her Mum is/was Great Grandma (she passed away last year, but obviously we still talk about her). DH's Mum is Nanny/Nan.

However, Granny insists on signing cards as 'Great Grandma' and it's really starting to annoy, and upset, me. I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it but she has been spoken to about it and asked not to do it. My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma and I'd like her to stay the only one, especially as they won't remember her (DS1 was just short of eleven months old when she passed away and DS2 wasn't born yet!) so I feel it might be confusing if I'm trying to tell them about Great Grandma who is no longer here, when they're getting cards and presents from 'Great Grandma'.

So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether?

Am I reading this right?

Your DH's granny is actually your DS's great-granny but you'd rather she didn't refer to herself as such lest it sully the memory of their maternal great-granny?

Both my Grandma's were called Grandma and it never caused any confusion. They were just Grandma first name and Grandma first name. I think YABU.

Sorry, your DAD's granny, not your husband's granny.

YAB completely U- unless I've misread your op, she is their great grandma, or great granny. You call her granny, they call her great gran.

Why can't she be great-granny? Maybe shes really proud to have great-grandchildren and enjoys signing her cards this way?

YAB Ridiculous. She is a Great Grandma and is no doubt proud of that fact. Also Great Grandmas tend to be quite elderly, and usually there are better things to do than get in pointless arguments with elderly ladies who are unlikely to be persuaded to your point of view.

It's just a card. If kids can cope with having four grandparents, they can surely cope with the notion of having more than one great grandparent.

But she isn't his Granny, she is yours? Or have I misunderstood? I guess she should be Great Granny

"So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether"

ha ha ha! Very funny

Is she your DSs Gran or Great-Nan?

Your post is a bit confusing - what do you mean "My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma"? Surely your Dad's mum is also your Grandma?

I'm confused - you say that she is your father's mother? So she's your grandmother. And so she is your DCs great-grandmother, just as much as your other grandmother was.

YABU

What Baubles said!

p.s. My children referred to my step mum as Grandma as my Mum had died and she was the only Grandma they had. They managed to understand that they had two maternal Grandmothers one alive and one dead but both much loved.

im sorry im confused with the grannys but i think your being over dramatic , a great grandmother can call herself whatever she wants yes i understand greatgrandma is no longer with you however to , throw an old ladies card in the bin is horrible ,

Sorry, but I think grandparents get to choose what they want to be called, rather than you getting to tell them. Saying that, once the DC reach a certain age they don't get to change it - because the DC won't take any notice

I think YABvU, TBH - she can sign cards any way she damn well likes and your DC presumably can't read anyway so it makes no difference to them.

It's one thing to be a 'second best' Great Grandma ..... bit more of a slap in the face if the 'first best' one is deceased, no?

Just to clarify, if she is your DCs nan / gran / nannie / grandma, they don't call her great nan / gran / nannie / grandma.

If she is your DCs great nan, then she should be allowed to call herself that.

Confused.

YABU.

As I can understand from your post, this woman is the great grandmother of your children. She has a perfect right to identify herself as Great Grandma.

I understand that you are already using that nomenclature for someone else. But that's hardly her fault. You do not appear ready to negotiate at all. Can't you do what everyone else does and use surnames to differentiate? I.e. 'this card is from Great Grandma Smith'.

You'd really throw a Christmas card in the bin simply because an elderly woman won't obey your ruling on what she may call herself? Temper tantrum, much?

I am assuming this is a wind up despite my serious response.

Bloody hell, YABVVVU! She is their great grandma!

My grandmother was talking about one of her friends, and said "Oh, she's just had a grandchild.... I didn't say anything, but it was only a grandchild, not a great." She was proud of having a great-grandchild, as is your grandmother. YABVU.

It's just a card. If kids can cope with having four grandparents, they can surely cope with the notion of having more than one great grandparent

And this! My DS' had 6 grandparents, and 4 great-grandparents when they were born. Sadly they are now down to 2 greats. (And in some ways now 7 Grandparents, but then again, they hardly know who 'Gran' is, let alone her DH!)

You are bonkers

OP says "dad's mum 'granny'". As though this is a nan we are talking about NOT a great nan.

I too am confused but think you are over reating. She can call herself whatever she likes.

this is a wind up, yes? If not, yabtu