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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my Granny should stop signing her cards this way?

216 replies

ArrAitch · 13/12/2011 12:05

I have always called my Dad's Mum 'Granny' and when my first son was born I just carried on calling her this. He calls her Granny too (he's two and a half), and I expect our second son will do the same (he's four and a half months). My Mum is Grandma, and her Mum is/was Great Grandma (she passed away last year, but obviously we still talk about her). DH's Mum is Nanny/Nan.

However, Granny insists on signing cards as 'Great Grandma' and it's really starting to annoy, and upset, me. I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it but she has been spoken to about it and asked not to do it. My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma and I'd like her to stay the only one, especially as they won't remember her (DS1 was just short of eleven months old when she passed away and DS2 wasn't born yet!) so I feel it might be confusing if I'm trying to tell them about Great Grandma who is no longer here, when they're getting cards and presents from 'Great Grandma'.

So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether?

OP posts:
smartyparts · 13/12/2011 13:23

OP you sound horrid.

Poor old lady and you threw her card in the bin. Meany.

witherhills · 13/12/2011 13:26

OP- my Gran was the most special person in the world to me, and when mil wanted to be known as Gran, I didn't like it one bit. But never in a million years would I have asked her to change it. It does suggest that she is second best, and it's completely up to her, not you, what she is called
It is a bit odd that after being asked not to use Great Grandma she is still using it, but honestly I think that's her way of telling you to fuck right off!

RainboweBrite · 13/12/2011 13:26

Only read the 1st page of this thread, but I will be amazed if it's not a wind-up. Also, Op, if it's supposed to be a mockery of another thread that was on here recently, I feel this is in very poor taste.

QuietNinjaMincepie · 13/12/2011 13:28

My nan was known as nanny2 as my mum is nanny. we asked mil and my mum what they wanted to be called before ds was born and if they both wanted to be the same (they didn't) then they'd have been the same. Kids aren't thick and can distinguish between people. If you say great grandma who is in heaven (or whatever saying you would use) then they'll know who you're on about.

turningvioletviolet · 13/12/2011 13:28

But your son is only 2 and a half anyway - unless he is a child genius presumably he can't even read the card?

TopazMortmain · 13/12/2011 13:28

Just returning to laugh at absurdity of the issue here Grin

WAHAHAHAHAHA.

First world problem OP

HenriettaFarthingay · 13/12/2011 13:34

Can't be bothered reading all of this, but, you are being utterly and ridiculously unreasonable. If she wants to sign herself as Great-Grandma, that's her business, not yours. You're just being a cheeky wee besom.

mayorquimby · 13/12/2011 13:36

"Can't be bothered reading all of this,"

bother, it's hilarious.

CaroleService · 13/12/2011 13:40

If she put £20 in your ds's card 'For X with love from Great Grandma', would you chuck it away / send it back?

pigletmania · 13/12/2011 13:40

YABVU yes she is your grandma, therefore your ds great grandma, what else is she supposed to be called Hmm. You are being very precious, and to throw away her card is way out of order. Just nasty tbh.

HenriettaFarthingay · 13/12/2011 13:42

mayorquimby, I read some of it, and then thought -what the heck, this is just sheer stupidity, not to mention hugely disrespectful of her father's mother, that I just couldn't stop myself posting in a super-quick fashion.

Will go back and read the rest of it later, if it's as good as you say!

octopusinabox · 13/12/2011 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleducks · 13/12/2011 13:52

DH's native language also has specific titles for maternal/paternal grandparents and uncles and aunts dependant upon if they are older or younger than the child's parents and related by birth or marriage.

He doesnt like the English system, I always thought that the choice aspect was great. Even with the blurry naming techniques from blending th etwo cultures my kids dont get confused.

YaMaYaMa · 13/12/2011 13:54

I'm a woman (albeit an engineer)

haha! This thread is great! Grin

pigletmania · 13/12/2011 13:56

Technically your granny is your ds great grandma, as they get older their understanding will be better. You can still talk about your mums mum to them, show them pictures, and tell them what a wonderful lady she was.

fuzzynavel · 13/12/2011 13:56

YABU

She can call herself what she likes FGS

aquafunf · 13/12/2011 13:59

sorry- yabvu and more than a little bit precious.

my dad died a few years ago- my sister suddenly started calling her father in law dad.

now that truly freaked me out but as a grown up i figured it is up to her. i would never have said anything.

no doubt she enjoys being great grandma- why would you deny her this unless you truly and genuinely believe that the world revolves around you.

nevergoogle · 13/12/2011 14:03

lmao, you absolutely need to kick her into touch. how very fucking dare she.

she absolutely should refrain from writing cards til she remembers her own freaking name.

yousankmybattleship · 13/12/2011 14:05

Maybe you could get a stamp made up with GREAT GRANNY on it - just to help her out.

pigletmania · 13/12/2011 14:11

Sorry you do sound really nasty, just read the very bottom of your post. What example are you setting to your ds Hmm. You need to grow up tbh.

GreenIceAndChristmasHam · 13/12/2011 14:26

I get it ?

This is a reverse AIBU isn't it!

Sorry Grandma you've been rumbled!!

Grin
TheOriginalFAB · 13/12/2011 14:35

I wanted my children to call their grandmother, nana, as that is what I called mine. She wanted Nanny. She is called Nanny. It doesn't matter right now but is just another thing I feel invisible about so I kind of see where you are coming from but think you are over reacting.

MistleTobyLeWolef · 13/12/2011 14:38

FFS. You are being a twat. Get over yourself.

Gonzo33 · 13/12/2011 14:43

I think you're being ludicrous. What difference does it make? Now if she was signing them Queen Elizabeth 1st I'd be worried!

felicitywits · 13/12/2011 14:44

DH's grandma (MIL's mum), is still with us. A few years ago DH's paternal grandma passed away. He was very sad (his dad died 20 years ago so his GM was his 'last link', although they were not close and she lived in a different country). We got the news on boxing day.

DD said "why is daddy sad?" I explained that his grandma had just passed away. DD looked very confused and walked into the living-room where MIL's mum was sitting reading. She piped up "no she's not, look, she's still alive!"

YABU, by the way, OP. You can call her great granny if you like and your DCs will probably copy you, but she can call herself whatever she wants.