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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my Granny should stop signing her cards this way?

216 replies

ArrAitch · 13/12/2011 12:05

I have always called my Dad's Mum 'Granny' and when my first son was born I just carried on calling her this. He calls her Granny too (he's two and a half), and I expect our second son will do the same (he's four and a half months). My Mum is Grandma, and her Mum is/was Great Grandma (she passed away last year, but obviously we still talk about her). DH's Mum is Nanny/Nan.

However, Granny insists on signing cards as 'Great Grandma' and it's really starting to annoy, and upset, me. I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it but she has been spoken to about it and asked not to do it. My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma and I'd like her to stay the only one, especially as they won't remember her (DS1 was just short of eleven months old when she passed away and DS2 wasn't born yet!) so I feel it might be confusing if I'm trying to tell them about Great Grandma who is no longer here, when they're getting cards and presents from 'Great Grandma'.

So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 13/12/2011 17:36

I don't know what to say really

snuffaluffagus · 13/12/2011 17:38

this is so ridiculous.

theyoungvisiter · 13/12/2011 17:41

You are absolutely beyond bonkers. My mum is dead - a source of huge sadness to me (obviously).

Should I demand that my MIL refrain from referring to herself in cards as "mum" lest it sully the memory of my own mum?

Should I demand that my mum is the only Granny the boys can have and she should be lesser-Gran from now on, so as not to confuse my kids?

This is a hilarious contrast to the other thread where the OP was threatening to throw cards in the bin because they weren't addressed to the exact form of her name that she preferred.

Now you are threatening to throw cards in the bin because they aren't SIGNED in the exact form of a name you prefer.

I'm using this lunacy as an excuse never to send a card again.

PS yes v confusing to have two Aitchs. I was just thinking "this is unusually bonkers for Aitch - she's sounding quite different to normal" when I saw the other one pop up on the thread and realised there might be a reason for that.

KatieScarlett2833 · 13/12/2011 17:41

I hope Great Grandma wrote the card with glee knowing it would wind you up over your extremely controlling, petty, insane behaviour.

[I would have]

whatstheetiquette · 13/12/2011 17:42

Neither of your children can read yet, so it is actually irrelevant what your granny writes on cards/labels. I would personally let this go.

starfishmummy · 13/12/2011 17:42

You are being ridiculous.
Children can cope with having two greanny's/great granny's (or grandfathers) etc.

CalatalieSisters · 13/12/2011 17:42

OP needs to change her name to Aitchny, so that we all don't get confused with Aitchma -- otherwise I'm chucking this thread in the bin.

The last sentence of the op is so so sad and rude. Her "own name" is the name she chooses to adopt when speaking to her own great grandchildren. And to think of binning the card because you don't get to choose what she calls herself is Bah Humbuggery of the highest order.

JamieComeHome · 13/12/2011 17:47

Quint - your names for grandparents reminds me of the legendary Scottish football score :

"Forfar 4, East Fife 5"

JamieComeHome · 13/12/2011 17:49

OP - I wonder if she uses GreatGrandma in a card because it's slightly more formal.

And if your DCs are anything like mine, they'll remain confused about who everyone is/was for a good few years yet.

DuchessofMalfi · 13/12/2011 17:55

This all sounds so petty. Get over it, OP, and grow up.

Loveliesbleeding · 13/12/2011 18:12

Agree with Jamiecomehome. It is usual for older generation to be more formal when writing. My mil used to sign herself Mother, though was always called mum by her sons.

Robins · 13/12/2011 18:15

YABU. Explain about having two great grandmas - pretty normal to me! She is obviously very proud to be a great grandma. Get over yourself!

DunderMifflin · 13/12/2011 18:25

Since when did other people get to decide what you call yourself? Even if they ask nicely??! Confused

underbeneathsies · 13/12/2011 18:34

Loving this thread! Xmas Grin
It is a wind-up, no?

QuintessentiallyFestive · 13/12/2011 19:11

"Aitch: this op is Not Me. just in case anyone was wondering if i'd lost my actual marbles."

lol lol (and I dont usual lol.) in fact ROFL

I would NEVER think this was The Ever Sensible Aitch.

nevergoogle · 13/12/2011 20:37

it was only because i thought it was 'the ever sensible' that i thought it was funny. now i'm just confused.

marthastew · 13/12/2011 20:42

Bonkers. If I ever get to be a great grandmother I shall refer to myself however I blimmin well like!

QuintessentiallyFestive · 13/12/2011 20:43

Even Voldemort, Martha? Wink

spiderpig8 · 13/12/2011 20:44

You are not only being unreasonable but also rude bossy and princessy

TheyCallMeMimi · 13/12/2011 20:59

Your DCn are lucky to have any grandparents never mind any greats. I lost the last of my own gps when I was 4. My own parents were both dead by the time dc1 was 5 and dc2 was 2. Get over yourself.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 13/12/2011 21:03

She gets to pick her own name. I think she should start calling you "Madam Written out of the Will".

I only hope that these are PG or menstraul hormones talking, and that you aren't normally like this.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 13/12/2011 21:41

It's just a name.

You are giving it far too much importance.

She can be great-grandma and that takes nothing away from the other great-grandma.

Your late grandma is no less or more special as a person depending on whether or not she is the only person ever referred to as Great Grandma.

I truly think you need to let this go.

smilesy · 13/12/2011 21:47

My middle son could never remember how to refer to his Dad's grandfather so he just called him "Great"..

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 13/12/2011 22:03

OP have you decided everyone thinks YABU? You're very quiet.

TheFestiveWife · 13/12/2011 22:22

YABU. My kids had 3 nannies (my nan died 3 years ago), now just my mum and MIL. They were all called nanny. There is Nanny B, (my mum), Nanny L (MIL), and there was Nanny H (my nan). It never confused them at all. DD2 is to young to remember my nan, she was 2 when she died. But dd1 remembers her and still calls her Nanny H. She's not confused in any way.