to think that my Granny should stop signing her cards this way?

[ArrAitch]

I have always called my Dad's Mum 'Granny' and when my first son was born I just carried on calling her this. He calls her Granny too (he's two and a half), and I expect our second son will do the same (he's four and a half months). My Mum is Grandma, and her Mum is/was Great Grandma (she passed away last year, but obviously we still talk about her). DH's Mum is Nanny/Nan.

However, Granny insists on signing cards as 'Great Grandma' and it's really starting to annoy, and upset, me. I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it but she has been spoken to about it and asked not to do it. My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma and I'd like her to stay the only one, especially as they won't remember her (DS1 was just short of eleven months old when she passed away and DS2 wasn't born yet!) so I feel it might be confusing if I'm trying to tell them about Great Grandma who is no longer here, when they're getting cards and presents from 'Great Grandma'.

So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether?

Where's op, think we scared her off

Only read this thread to see if Aitch's brain had been blown away by Hurricane Bawbag.

Glad to see that it is not the case.

OP
I think that you are being slightly unreasonable, but I can understand you being upset that your Granny is "usurping" your late Grandma. She isn't though, it is just a name.

Assuming the OP comes back.

OP - your 2 1/2 year old can read the cards?

Must get back and start hot-housing my slow 2 yo DD (although her great grandma's handwriting is so poor these days it doesn't matter what she calls herself in a card, and i'm just grateful that she is around and sending cards at all, but perhaps I'm wet)...

Assuming that OP has exited stage left due to being pronounced U? FWIW OP, YABU but I can understand that when you lose someone you love it can make certain things appear much bigger than they really are. Sorry for your loss, but be thankful that you have such an extended family to love you and your children - whatever name they call themselves.

why not name her great granny and label everything to her with that name - you could also say that you don't want to confuse the kids with having two great grandmas. don't make it inot an issue though.

Without meaning to sound harsh or nor implying you should forget the deceased, far from it, but it is also more important to have regard for the feelings of the living...

Why can't grandmas be grandmas or nanna, nanny etc (may be with name following i.e. nanna Sue), great grandmas or great nannas be great grandma, great nanna etc. Children do get confused with families no matter what but surely by starting by explaining mum and dad's parentage really can't be rocket science! And if there are steps too, so be it, explain that too. Hubby and I come from massive families, both my kids have great grandparents, I am a stepnanna to their half nephew and niece, sure it's gets confusing but we just tell who everyone is! Simples.....

sounds like theres a war on who gets the great grandma title to me.

WHAT?!

YABU

Is there nothing else you have to worry about?

ha ha ha OP.

YABU.

...and as well as having numerous first cousins, my kids have step cousins and step second cousins and second cousins, we explain who they are but mostly on a general day to day basis, we will say "oh lots of your cousins will be there"!

For god's sake, just be bloody grateful that your DSs have so many grandparents in their lives! My DCs have one grandma and one nanny. Both grandfathers have passed away & all of their great-grandparents passed away years before they were born. How bloody stupid and selfish to obsess about what name your DH's elderly granny chooses to write on her Christmas cards . Priorities. Get some.

Have my first

Get a fucking grip. There are more important things in life to worry about that what you call your child's grandparents (or what they refer to themselves as in this case it would appear).

HTH

I'm with JinglePosy.

I have read thousands of AIBUs over the years, but this one not only totally takes the biscuit but has left me feeling rather sour and angry that someone could be so pathetic and ridiculously self-obsessed.

Wow, what a brilliant thread.

OP - you are clearly very upset about your grandma and I'm sorry she's gone :( BUT granny/grandma/nana etc are really not all that different and if your paternal granny wants to swap between one name and another it's not a big deal, I think your grief is just clouding your judgement (to put it mildly). If she wanted to be called "Her Ladyship Queen Glorypants" or something I might laugh a lot start to see the issue.

My grandmother died when I was a baby, but was always referred to by her first name as e.g. Granny Molly which made me feel like she was someone I knew, IYSWIM. Maybe you could refer to your grandma as "Grandma [firstname]" if you're really worried about them getting confused?

Oh please.........