to think that my Granny should stop signing her cards this way?

[ArrAitch]

I have always called my Dad's Mum 'Granny' and when my first son was born I just carried on calling her this. He calls her Granny too (he's two and a half), and I expect our second son will do the same (he's four and a half months). My Mum is Grandma, and her Mum is/was Great Grandma (she passed away last year, but obviously we still talk about her). DH's Mum is Nanny/Nan.

However, Granny insists on signing cards as 'Great Grandma' and it's really starting to annoy, and upset, me. I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it but she has been spoken to about it and asked not to do it. My Grandma was the boys' Great Grandma and I'd like her to stay the only one, especially as they won't remember her (DS1 was just short of eleven months old when she passed away and DS2 wasn't born yet!) so I feel it might be confusing if I'm trying to tell them about Great Grandma who is no longer here, when they're getting cards and presents from 'Great Grandma'.

So AIBU to chuck the Christmas card we got from her this morning in the bin and to tell her next time I see her that if she can't remember her own name she should just stop sending cards altogether?

OK sorry - my Gran is poorly at the minute and I hate the idea of someone not just appreciating their Gran.

FWIW my Gran is called various things by the great grand-children including old-Grandma, wrinkly Gran and Grandma Choo-Choo I'm pretty sure none of them were of her choosing!

Oh this isn't you, Aitch, with a slight namechange?

Thank the lord for that! I was wondering what had happened to you as I am not sure I have ever accused you of being unreasonable before!

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU

It's well for you that you have so little to be worried about. I suggest you build a bridge and get over it.

YUBVVU - you know that really don't you? Have you been at Santa's sherry? Surely she can call herself whatever she likes. You are not the name police.

I know you said you explained your reasons to her, and are confused as to why she changed from Granny to Grandma, and she 'lied to your face' about changing back, but did you actually ask her why? Instead of all of us who just think you are being vvvvvvu. Or have you just confused her as much as you did MN so it took loads of posts to work out wtaf you were on about? Just asking...

Grow up.

My grandad/my son's great grandad passed away last week. I wish he were still here to send cards to/send cards. In fact, he had dementia for years before he died and I used to get cards on my birthday with "To my uncle" on the front then inside he'd written "To Margaret..." I suppose I should have taken a harder line on this...

you get upset over this?

Really?!

Bonkers.

Just add a name on if it's confusing, or upsetting! I can't see how it would sully a memory.

Take Katie Morag. She has a Granny Island and a Granny Mainland. Easy.

Though maybe your granny would revert if you started calling her Great Grandma Milton Keynes or whatever.

She hasn't always been called Granny though has she. She was mother before the grand children came along and she changed her name ok then. Now the great grand children have come along and she's doing just what she's always done and changing her name accordingly.

Bottom line is that the consensus is that you are being very, very unreasonable. So you don't need to get why she wants to change, you just have to accept it.

I do hope that OP comes back and goes 'Huh, seems I am being unreasonable, not to say unseasonable. I shall adjust my attitude and thank any God who cares that my life is so good that this counts as a problem'.

Seriously weird thread.

That's ok Aitch, happy to oblige.

(it's me, Chaos, in my Christmas gear btw)

.

So Arr, you gonna name change as requested?? I think that adds a nice ironic twist to this utterly insane thread.

You would be quite funny if you went so unpleasant. You evidently have issues if you think asking your Granny not to sign her cards in a particular is ways at all reasonable or normal.

We have 2 granddads we just add their first name when we need to differentiate. We muddle through..

Shall we ask MNHQ to point Nigella to this thread so she can see what japes we have on MN??

Ah, all this would be avoided if the British could just be a little bit more sensible in developing their own language.

See, in Scandinavia, we dont have this problem.

Maternal grandmother is Mormor (mothers mum)
Paternal grandmother is Farmor (fathers mum)
Maternal grandfather is Morfar (mothers father)
Patnernal grandfather is Farfar (fathers father)

No confusion.

HOWEVER, for great grandmother, it is just Oldemor (old mother)
and great grandfather is just Oldefar (old dad)

So, not even scandinavia can get around this, and I assume it is because you would be very lucky if you actually have TWO great grandmothers around to be confused between.

As it is, OP, you havent. (sorry for your loss).
The only great grandma to be alive is your dads grandmother, and yab TOTALLY U to deprive her of a title that is rightfully hers, especially as the other great grandma is dead, and I bet she wont like to hear that she can easily be confused with this person..... SO let them both be great grandma, and apply their names after. LIke great grandma Jane, and great grandma Harriet.

Oh and my son has THREE nanas. Yes, three. That's not including his great nana. They are all nana and we do this revolutionary thing to differentiate whom we are referring to by adding the relevant nana's first name after the prefix "nana". It seems to have worked well for us thus far, although I can appreciate that it is a complex system which requires some brain power to manage.

I had 3 Nanas, Nana nickname (great Nana), Nana first Name (maternal nana), Nana *Surname (paternal Nana), I would give 'nearly' anything to see their handwriting on a card again, no matter what name they choose to use for themselves.

OP you need to grow up!

Ooooh I want to introduce 'Farfar' that's a great name. Very good after a few glasses of wine!

Divorce the old bat, your relationship will not survive such behaviour - not without intensive therapy.

Or on the other hand, get a grip, FFS

Your granny is just excited about being a great grandma.

My bil had issues with his fil. Didn't want him called grandad as wanted all relatives to be different. Caused a fair bit of upset. Personally I didn't understand. He is a grandad so why shouldn't he be allowed to call himself one!

QuintessentiallyFestive - i would love the excuse to call my Great Grandma - Voldemort....

Cup - and now you CAN, thanks to me. Just tell her oldemor (pretty much prononuced as voldemort) is grand old lady in norwegian, and you love how it just suit her to a T!

Just to reassure your, oldefar is pronounced nothing like old fart.

This is deliciously bonkers. I hope she knits you a great big two fingered salute for Xmas.

YABU and very silly.