10 Tips to Prevent Rape

[coldwed]

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

AyeScream's put it a lot better than I did.

But if the woman is fully aware of the man's condition and decides that some nights when she definitely doesn't want any kind of sexual activity, she sleeps in another room and the man doesn't stomp and sulk and threaten to have an affair, is there really a need for posters to hound that woman and try to bully her into agreeing that she's married to a rapist but too dim to realise it?

Shazz has already said she is able to still say no even when her husband is asleep so Im not sure that argument really works there. And as she is awake at the time of penetration he penetrated me in my sleep dosent work either.

I think Tcanny has faced alot of unneeded hostility here.

I cant see how he can be called a rapist when his own wife is awake and consenting by her own words? And if she dose not want sex then she will stop him right there.

Still define it as rape? ...... I dont

And it's not very nice trying to coerce her into believing she was raped when she quite obviously stated she wasn't.

Some posters on this thread are nothing more than bullies and they might have harmed a good relationship with their spiteful remarks.

I agree that you can't consent when asleep and the whole presumed consent thing fucks me off. I don't agree that this is the place for that discussion.

When people see you telling someone who, knowingly shares a bed with their partner who has been diagnosed with this condition, that they are being raped, you lose them on all the other stuff, regardless of the rights or wrongs of it.

SGB, I fully take that on board and apologise for not making it clear that I am not talking about an individual, but speaking in the hypothetical in this instance,

Apart from penetration, eating and driving, are the other oft-found predilections of parasomniacs? Gardening or crossword-solving perhaps? Off to google....

"bullies"

"spiteful"

< sigh >

lowest common denominator, innit

This whole subject has gotten me rather curious and I have spent better part of this evening reading and learning about sexomnia and other parasomnias.

I have found eating, driving, going for a run, cooking (just think of the fire risk there) and a whole lot of other crazy stuff done by people with various parasomnias.

Im so glad I sleep soundly and stay put (as far as I know)

Likewise, my posts are hypothetical, not in direct relation to those posted.

Predictable.

My relative sleepwalks. They will go outside. This means they will unlock the front/back door and leave it wide open. They will often partially undress. They will often try to make a drink which has resulted more than once in broken glass on the floor which they've then stepped in. The cuts do not rouse them. You can have a gentle word with them and encourage them to go back to bed, but if you try to tell them what to do they get angry.

They are not in any way sexual in behaviour.

Yes, you do seem rather curious about this subject. Curious enough to sign up and post about nothing else
What are you hoping to achieve?

I will get up and have conversations with people in my sleep who think I am fully awake... My family and DH can now
Identify the signs thank god...

I don't have an opinion on seximnia as I just dont know
But I think while it 'may ' exist it is something that is way to open for abuse in a rape defence

giyadas I name changed for another reason but have gotten very sidetracked here :)

I do the talking - can have full, detailed conversations! It took DH years to accept I was really asleep and don't remember a word. Nothing physical though - I never get out of the bed.

so what is your definition of rape JanHal?

Has JanHal got to validate her reasons for posting on this thread?

I asked a question, JanHal answered.

What's your definition of rape giyadas?

You seem awful interested in needing to know what other people think.

My definition is unwelcome and unwanted sex.

It would take a long time to go into great detail but that is the basis of it.

i wonder how you aplly your definition of ape to Tcanny and his wife?

I wonder how you apply your definition of rape to Tcanny and his wife?

bloody typo's

That clearly wasn't rape JanHal.

But I bet a pound to a penny some obtuse unreasonable definition is going to spring forth shortly to confoung the critics.

It's shocking the treatment a certain poster on here has had.

mrsjacko - edd? is that you?

JanHal - while I think it meets the criteria for rape, I feel uncomfortable telling the women how to feel about their experience. The prosecution argument doesn't come into it as they (being happy with the situation) aren't going to report, so their situation doesn't really seem relevant to this thread beyond being a theoretical wanky navel-gazing excercise. Or a distraction to the very real issue of how to rape victims/prevent rape.
The partners may grow to change their minds about their experience, they may not, it's not for me to tell them how to feel.

But the legal definition of rape is being penetrated with a penis without your consent. That's the framework I'm working within because thats the law as it stands.

Mrsjacko - did you change your name and get distracted too?
How about contributing something worthwhile?

christ! "how to help rape victims/prevent rape"