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Original poster

10 Tips to Prevent Rape

688 replies

coldwed · 19/10/2011 09:43

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

OP posts:
Wooooooooooooooppity · 22/10/2011 00:02

Well you obviously know him better than me. [hsmile]

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin · 22/10/2011 00:03

Very true Edam. The 'sex isn't something the man does to a woman' thing. It should be a collaboration about mutual pleasure.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 22/10/2011 00:03

[hgrin] Wooooopity...

mrsjacko · 22/10/2011 00:05

Who?

The abbreviation or whoever you're talking about?

If someone said to you?

"Are you emm?"

It would be safe to assume that the reference to "emm" would imply a girls name would it not?

If it didn't you'd have to have led one hell of a complicated life :)

giyadas · 22/10/2011 00:05

Good post edam. There's so many outside influences to fight against though.
There's lots of post's saying 'I will tell my sons that no-ones allowed to touch them' and 'I will tell my sons not to put themselves at risk'. Far fewer saying 'I will teach my son to respect women and their boundaries'.

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 00:08

Edam, I cant believe that men rape because they have not been told by their parents that it is wrong. I do think though, that (someone please tell me if this happens as it is a few years since my stepson was in school), when teens are given sex education, consent should be an area that is very thoroughly and implicitly covered and the tutor should hold an open question and answer session to ensure that both the boys AND girls clearly understand boundaries from as early as possible.

Wooooooooooooooppity · 22/10/2011 00:09

Most people talk about what they will teach their DD's about rape.

Very few deal with what they will teach their DS's about it.

Which very much seems the wrong way round to me.

mrsjacko · 22/10/2011 00:11

It affects both sexes so why shouldn't both sexes be taught about respect?

Wooooooooooooooppity · 22/10/2011 00:11

Squeaky up till now, there really hasn't been much emphasis about consent in PHSE/ sex ed/ whatever new fangled lesson they have now.

I did recently read, that consent was going to be tackled from now on. Not sure of the details though.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 22/10/2011 00:12

Edam, I agree. I do think, however, our DS's need to be taught to respect someone's right to say "no" a long time before we even approoach the subject of sex. I'm also trying to teach DS that a silence doesn't mean "yes". (He's 3, so teaching it in a "playing" sense, if that makes sense) :)

giyadas · 22/10/2011 00:14

Perfect time to link to Andrea Gibson's poem
Very powerful poem.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 22/10/2011 00:17

Squeaky, I know when I was at school, consent was never covered. I know my brother has said it was never covered in his PHSE lessons (this was, in his case, 8 years ago).

mrsjacko · 22/10/2011 00:18

Backing out of thread because it looks like the cupboard linking our world to narnia just opened.

There are some mighty strange ideas on this thread that wouldn't go amiss on a little britain show.

We've had EDD is not a male name.

Posters trying to convince some poor woman tha she's been raped when she hasn't and she has argued that yet been ignored by her attackers.

And to top it all you've got the brainwashing of small children by paranoid shouters.

I'll leave you to count your own dropped marbles.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 22/10/2011 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 00:20

Thinking about it, and from my own experience as a teen. Girls are often pressured into having sex by their boyfriends, before they are ready. They may consent, but it is very close to being rape, and very dodgy ground. This could also be the start of the pattern that leads some men to carry on through life with no respect for women. I do think that the earlier both boys and girls are taught about their rights over their bodies, the better.

More than ever these days, girls dress in a much more overtly sexual way, but the message needs to be given to boys that this is not an invitation for sex. Looking "sexy" does not mean you want sex, or that you are offering sex.

giyadas · 22/10/2011 00:22

Yes to it being taught about boundaries a long time before sex.
Women/girls aren't there to be shouted at in the street.
Women/girls aren't people you can shut up by calling them ugly or commenting on their physical person.
Women/girls don't have to smile because you told them to.
Women/girls don't hate men just because they don't want to see their sex denigrated.
Women and girls are people, just like men and boys. We deserve the same respect and the same space to go about our lives.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 22/10/2011 00:23

Exactly, giyadas :)

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 00:27

Men and boys are not there to be shouted at in the street either. It does apply to both sexes, as do the other points on that list. Equality, not superiority for any gender.

giyadas · 22/10/2011 00:30

If we got everything on ^^ that list, we wouldn't be superior, we would be equal. The trouble is, with people who are invested in men keeping superiority, when things start becoming equal they complain that it's gone too far the other way.

notevenclose · 22/10/2011 00:48

The feminist section must be slow today.
All of those demands for want of a better wordcould equally apply to men and boys like a previous poster said earlier.

giyadas · 22/10/2011 00:52

It could do if it wasn't already recognised as their right already.
And as it is, you're post is a pretty redundant 'whataboutthemenz' embarrassment.

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 00:56

But it isnt recognised as their right.

I see women doing all the things on that list all the time. It certainly is not a male only thing.

My stepson does not go to work to have sixth formers catcalling him and whistling at him while he works. But it happens regularly.

notevenclose · 22/10/2011 00:56

You're getting annoyed.
Do you disagree with squeaky?
Are you annoyed about her opinion too?
Are you often very shouty and demanding?

PS..this is not the feminist section although you've probably bored them all to sleep already.

giyadas · 22/10/2011 01:05

You have to see the whole picture squeaky, all people get the occasional crap from students, kids ect. Women get a certain type of catcalling from about 12 onwards, it's very different, unless you are willfully obtuse about it.
I got crabapples thrown at me any dd today on the way back from the shops, that's a universal type of harassment, everyone's got it. Their parent's should teach them not to. But then on top of that there's the sexist harassment, yes men have to deal with crap, but them women have to deal with that crap and then more simply for being women. Even the kids that were throwing crabapples felt that they could treat the women walking by worse than the men.

giyadas · 22/10/2011 01:07

not even close - 2 posts? no agenda there then.
I'm not annoyed I'm discussing this with people far smarter than you.
That's why Squeaky got a proper answer and you get sweet FA Wink

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