10 Tips to Prevent Rape

[coldwed]

Should this leaflet be handed out to the public?

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2141096

It is not patronising of the vast majority of men who are not rapists.

It is a satire on those (men and women) who still think of rape in terms of something the woman should be doing something about. They should feel patronised. A man who does not voice those sentiments has no reason to feel the leaflet applies to him.

Does anyone seriously believe that a man who rapes will read this and actually take any notice of it, or that it will make a potential rapist think twice and decide he wont rape?

Everyone knows that murder is wrong, but it doesnt stop it from happening.

Domestic Abuse is wrong, but that doesnt stop it happening.

Yes..maybe the exclamation marks make it a bit too jokey...but that could be a choice to make it not appear to earnest.

Elaine....that site seems a bit in general....a lot of the comment appear to be from teens or people who aren't very articulate.

To be fair, squeaky's post suggests a similar misunderstanding.

I am not misunderstanding it at all. It is a reversal of the advice given to women on how to protect themselves against potential rapists or putting themselves in unnecessary danger. Good advice as it happens.

However if anyone believes that it should be taken seriously in the way it has been written, and that it should be given out to men, and that men who rape will stop and take any notice, I would be very surprised.

I approve - it's a direct counter attack to all the 'don't wear short skirts, don't go out without a male owner, don't drink' advice.
And it puts the blame where it lies - on the rapist.

squeaky, the point of the leaflet is not to influence rapists to stop raping- that is clearly not going to happen

it is meant to influence the rest of society to think twice before they assume it is the woman's fault:

to influence the judge who might give a lenient sentence "because with a skirt like that/being out late at night she was clearlyt asking for it/he couldn't help himself"

to influence the policeman who might be interviewing a woman bringing a charge of rape

to influence the flatmates/other people at the party who don't interfere to stop a potential rape

to influence the workmates who speak around young men as if you really did not have the alternative of keeping it in your trousers

I think the point is that women shouldn't be given advice on how to "avoid" being raped as it's never their fault and the onus should never be on them. Rather than having the culture of blaming the woman or thinking that if the women had only done x instead then she wouldn't have been raped it's putting the blame sqaurely, and rightly, at the man's feet.

It's not meant as advice to men, and I don't think anyone does think that.
It's meant to make people think twice about advising women on how to stop themselves getting raped.
The target is the people who put that sort of advice out - not rapists.

and -to digress slightly- though wife battery and child battery are still deplorably high there is good reason to believe they are a lot less common than in, say, the 17th century when both these practices were regarded as perfectly reasonable practices

it has made a difference that most people are aware that this is no longer accepted mainstream thinking

I would believe it would make a difference to the prevalence of rape if there was a general acceptance that rape is the fault of the rapist and nobody else

It is never a womans fault that she is raped, but (and I know this can be a very contentious point on here), women can and should do what they can to keep themselves safe from some of the risks.

Yes, in an ideal world anyone should be safe to walk where they like, when they like, but this is not a perfect world, and it is common sense to be aware of the dangers and do what you can to prevent it happening.

If a woman was walking on her own, late at night, down an unlit street, in high heels, quite drunk... no, she wasnt asking to be raped, but she is certainly guilty of putting herself at risk. She doesnt deserve to be raped, she should be able to do this, and I am not saying for one moment that her rapist should have any leniency whatsoever for what he has done.. what I am saying is, the woman in this example could have prevented what happened to her, if she had not put herself in danger. To ignore what is basic sensible advice because you are arrogant about your rights is foolish.

And before we get into the realms of rape by strangers only accounts for a small number of cases, and in most cases the rapist is known to the victim, I am aware of that, and that is a different scenario.

It's ace

It's never a woman's fault that she is raped BUT...

Squeaky, if a man goes walking late at night and gets mugged is he equally guilty of putting himself at risk? He could have prevented that happening by staying indoors and watching television. Or does this only apply to women?

As one of those on this thread who of necessity uses men's loos for the purpose for which they are intended: I've never seen posters there advising us not to commit rape. I've occasionally seen them advising us not to commit DV.

Well, I suppose if here and there it puts one man off doing either who otherwise would it does no harm.

In fact the commonest form of male-specific poster in men's loos, if anyone is curious to know, is the ones which advise us to take urinary problems seriously and see the doctor if we have concerns. Unfortunately that too is often ignored . . .

"I get what its trying to do, and laud the sentiment, but something doesnt sit right with me sorry."

It attempts to paint men as somehow accepting of rape. As thought hey just cant help themselves and dont realise its bad.

Militant claptrap of the highest order and not helpful.

But I think it's actually dangerous to pretend that rape is a thing the victim can and should prevent.

Walking down an unlit alley in heels and drunk is unwise for any number of reasons (you might stumble and not be found, for example). But you are not 'guilty' of putting yourself in the way of a rapist if you do so.

lassylass, it portrays society as accepting of rape

which imho is not too far off

And cory has a valid point. I'm not young, I'm of slight physique, and I wear glasses. I have a responsibility to consider where I go and when I go there if I prefer not to be mugged. Don't I?

Squeaky, I'd agree with you except for the fact that stranger rape is not common....being raped by someone you know is far more likely.

cory, if he walked on his own, on a dark street, in an area known for mugging, then yes he would have put himself in a vulnerable position. If he gets mugged, it's still the mugger's fault.

How about you put the full sentence I wrote in your quote Shirley, instead of twisting it to suit your agenda.

Would anyone advise their daughters to behave as they wanted, because "dont worry, if you get raped, it is not your fault"... bollocks to that, I would rather my daughters were not raped, and that they are sensible enough to do what they can to ensure their own personal safety wherever possible.

If that means paying attention to advice about not walking on their own at night, not taking drinks from strangers etc, then I want them to pay heed to that, and be aware of the dangers.

"If a man was walking on his own, late at night, down an unlit street, wearing unlaced trainers, quite drunk... he is certainly guilty of putting himself at risk of violent assault."

"lassylass, it portrays society as accepting of rape

which imho is not too far off"

Like I said. Militant claptrap.